A seventh week of Fall 2024 bowling that seemed destined for mundane mediocrity was anything but ordinary, and since Scoot wasn't there to see what actually happened he's letting BowlingBot run free with its imagination for this recap.

The air crackled with tension, tension that began out on the street where bowlers brawled and threatened each other over limited parking spaces. As the pent-up hostilities spilled onto the lanes, the standings stubbornly refused to shift. Still, Matthew Taylor's thunderous 248 game and 651 series was a bright spot, marking his reign over the night. Yet, the real drama unfolded beneath the surface, as each team clawed for dominance in a battle of strikes and spares. Read on for the thrilling, albeit somewhat chaotic, details!

First up, on lanes 1 & 2: It was a face-off for the ages as Bowls Deep clashed with the sneaky Stealing Pins in the Burrows. A fog of uncertainty hung in the air as Kent Harms, struggling with his below-average 487 series, led Bowls Deep into a fierce skirmish. The pins quaked as they knocked out three crucial wins, sending waves of excitement coursing through the team like a sudden wind lifting sails. Bowls Deep reveled in the victory, like warriors returning from battle, maintaining their 3rd place stronghold. Meanwhile, Nathan Burrows valiantly rallied his Pin Thieves with a commanding 470 series, but with Jeremy unable to convince anyone to pull his finger to release his own internal pressure, Nathan's efforts could only yield a single win. The Thieves slinked away, their hopes momentarily dashed, trapped in 4th place for another week.

On lanes 3 & 4: An epic confrontation unfolded as the behemoths of Squid Row faced off against the cute and innocent Sun Dolphins. It was a scenario worthy of Jules Verne or the ancient Greek storytellers, with the Squid looming large with tentacles raised high as Matthew Taylor, electrified by his monstrous 651 series, powered them to a resounding sweep. The lanes seemed to buckle under the weight of their dominance, and Squid Row basked in their victory, every player riding the crest of triumph like mythical sea beasts surfacing from the deep. Sun Dolphins, despite Scott Thompson's determined 438 series, were engulfed by the waves, swept completely off their feet. In the wake of the calamari onslaught, Squid Row stayed anchored in 1st place, while the Dolphins, devastated, sank deeper into 5th.

Finally, down on lanes 5 & 6: The legendary Scooter's Succulent Sausages™ were pitted against their age-old rivals, Scootytang. With the unyielding force of #1 Power-Ranked bowler and Most Valuable Bowler Dustin Schmeltz and his formidable 573 series, the Sausagemakers stormed to a glorious sweep. The pins fell like soldiers before their charge, and Scooter’s crew, brimming with energy, celebrated the win as though they’d unlocked the very secret to the perfect sausage. The taste of victory was sweet, and the team remains sizzling in 2nd place. Scootytang, however, faced a harsher fate. Despite Seth Gunderson's noble 487 series and the fact that he was the only person who didn't participate in the parking brawl outside, the Tang was swept away in a tide of defeat, left to stew in the sting of their fall to last place—6th, where shadows of former glory haunt them.

Bowlers who lied to their significant other claiming bowling was running long then went out for after-bowling drinks at The 200 Club include: AJ Hofmann (221), Dustin Schmeltz (218), and Matthew Taylor (248,210)

The 651 rolled by Matthew Taylor is this season's new high series for men.

In this week's Tournament of Champions brackets: Matthew Taylor mopped up Division 1, while AJ Hofmann clobbered Division 2. Nobody claimed victory in Division 3 (though Chris Windham came closest), and Brian Schaben whipped Division 4. In terms of overall points: Seth Gunderson tops Division 1; AJ Hofmann runs the show in Division 2; Buck Nasty calls the shots for Division 3; and Chris Lenz dominates Division 4.

NEXT WEEK:

• First, on lanes 1&2, 1st-place Squid Row will chuck some balls with 6th-place Scootytang (hcp 28). Mmmm Calimari is expected to roll a little low and lose the series but avoid getting swept; while Tang is forecast to hold steady as they enjoy their victories.
• Moving to lanes 3&4, 3rd-place Bowls Deep (hcp 55) will battle 2nd-place Scooter's Succulent Sausages™. Bowls might maintain their current strength as they lose the series but avoid getting swept; while Sausagemakers ought to hold steady as they enjoy their victories.
• Finally, on lanes 5&6, 4th-place Stealing Pins in the Burrows (hcp 32) will socialize with 5th-place Sun Dolphins. Pin Thieves are predicted to roll decently and sweep the series; while Dolphins are anticipated to drop their average a bit while they endure a rough night.

^*(Remember, the predicted results above are based on mathematical extrapolations and can be changed by all sorts of factors. If you don't like how your team's results are predicted, you and your teammates have the power to prove the math wrong!)

THIS WEEK'S MVB Dustin Schmeltz Runner Up: (See Posting)	#1 POWER BOWLER Dustin Schmeltz Runner Up: Matthew Taylor	#1 H2H BOWLER Matthew Taylor Runner Up: Dustin Schmeltz
FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE) "I tried to ignore it, but every time I got up I couldn't stop focusing on Ryan's massive dead wood." Seth Gunderson, wishing someone would come get it off. (The lane.)

Pos.	Team name	Record	Percent	Total Pins	Change
1	Squid Row	21-7	.750	14,291	n/a
2	Scooter's Succulent Sausages™	17-11	.607	12,377	n/a
3	Bowls Deep	15-13	.536	10,979	n/a
4	Stealing Pins in the Burrows	12-16	.429	9,835	n/a
5	Sun Dolphins	10-18	.357	10,546	n/a
6	Scootytang	9-19	.321	13,842	n/a

Men's High Series Scratch	Women's High Series Scratch
Matthew Taylor - 651 Dustin Schmeltz - 573 AJ Hofmann - 570 Dennis Walling - 528 Kent Harms - 487 Seth Gunderson - 487 (t)
Men's High Series Handicap	Women's High Series Handicap
Dustin Schmeltz - 669 Matthew Taylor - 665 Nathan Burrows - 650 AJ Hofmann - 618 Brian Schaben - 601
Men's High Game Scratch	Women's High Game Scratch
Matthew Taylor - 248 AJ Hofmann - 221 Dustin Schmeltz - 218 Nathan Burrows - 196 Dennis Walling - 192
Men's High Game Handicap	Women's High Game Handicap
Nathan Burrows - 256 Matthew Taylor - 252 Dustin Schmeltz - 250 Brian Schaben - 237 AJ Hofmann - 237 (t) Dennis Walling - 214
Men's Pins Over Average	Women's Pins Over Average
Nathan Burrows - 71 Brian Schaben - 58 Dustin Schmeltz - 58 (t) Matthew Taylor - 54 AJ Hofmann - 41 Chris Hagan - 25