With tonight being Halloween, almost half the league was bewitched by demons and unable escape from the dark presence of Satan long enough to roll. For those of us who surrounded ourselves with sufficient garlic, silver, and holy water to avoid all of the evil, here is how tonight's games went.

First up, on lanes 1 & 2: Holy Sandbaggers, Batman! were perverted little devils constantly imagining Less Terra Bowl as mummies being slowly, sensuously unwrapped. Apparently this erotic Hallowfantasy worked in their favor. Led by Phil Schroeder and his 578 series, Holy Sandbaggers, Batman! spooked 3 wins out of Less Terra Bowl. This despite Matthew Taylor rolling yet another new personal best and new league leading series with his 671. Less Terra Bowl could only curse one of the games while unwrapping for the naughty-minded Sandbaggers. Holy Sandbaggers, Batman! remains in 1st place, while Less Terra Bowl remains in 5th.

It should be noted that, despite his bizarre mummy nudity fetish, Dennis Laube is now as of this week officially having the best season of his entire 32-season career in our league.

On lanes 3 & 4: NotContra threw themselves into the pinsetter where they were crushed to a bloody pulp, then returned from the beyond as horrible, mutilated ghosts to haunt the living crap out of The Alt-Left. Led by Aaron Barber and his 599 series, NotContra 's scary ectoplasmic terrors screamed up 3 wins against The Alt-Left. Meanwhile, led by Lefty John Boren and his 461 series, The Alt-Left could only exorcise 1 win. NotContra remains in 2nd place, while The Alt-Left drops 1 spot to 4th.

On lanes 5 & 6: Brooklyn Strikers latched their fangs onto the necks and sucked all the the blood out of DB's Rusty Nuts. Naturally, this increased the Strikers' BACs considerably. Led by best-at-everything-tonight sub / 5th-man Doug Bonney and his 611 series, Brooklyn Strikers drank a clean sweep out of the Rusty Nuts. Meanwhile, an exsanguinated Jeremy Varnell whipped out his crucifix to defend the Nuts with a 379 series, but it was just too tiny to be up to the task at hand. Brooklyn Strikers climbs 1 spot in the standings to 7th place, while DB's Rusty Nuts remains in 10th.

It should be noted that as of tonight, Doug Bonney (again, a sub) has rolled more games than full-time bowlers Steven Anthony and Mark DeVoe. Sad!

On lanes 7 & 8: Mustache Cash Stash gave razorblade-filled apples, needle-filled candy bars, LSD-laced candy, and spooky fentanyl patches with witch designs to Split It & Hit It. This resulted in the deaths of every member of Split It & Hit It, forcing a forfeit. However, the extreme guilt over their act of Halloween terror caused the Cash Stash to lose 1-1/2 games despite Michael Mead's 603 series. This is only the second time in league history that a forfiet resulted in a tied game. Split It & Hit It remains in 9th place, while Mustache Cash Stash moves up 1 spot to 3rd.

Finally, down on lanes 9 & 10: Roll, Drink, Repeat spent the majority of the evening grunting, rotting, and trying to eat the brains of Bowl Yer Ballz Off. Despite the fact that Roll-Drink were all several miles away, having rolled a few days prior to becoming undead, they somehow caused enough zombie pain to sweep the series. Sean Simmons led the horde with a 533 series, while Chadwick Andrews tried but failed to adminster some fatal head-shots with his 399 series. Roll, Drink, Repeat climbs 1 spot in the standings to 6th place, while Bowl Yer Ballz Off sinks 2 spots to 8th.

In this week's Tournament of Champions brackets: Nobody claimed victory in Division 1 (though Aubrey Moren came closest), while nobody claimed victory in Division 2 (though Sean Simmons came closest). Lefty John Boren claimed victory in Division 3, and Lefty Carl Goetz decimated Division 4. Finally, Matthew Taylor (Division 1) creamed this week's Interdivisional bracket. In terms of overall points: Aaron Barber reigns over Division 1; Dennis Laube calls the shots for Division 2; Freda Schroeder leads Division 3; and JoAnne Barber tops Division 4.

Bowlers entering The 200 Club include: Aaron Barber (210), Aubrey Moren (202), Dennis Walling (222), Doug Bonney (203,211), Matthew Taylor (233,236,202), Michael Gordon (209), Michael Mead (278), and Phil Schroeder (208)

THIS WEEK'S MVB Doug Bonney Runner Up: (See Posting)	#1 POWER BOWLER Doug Bonney Runner Up: Matthew Taylor	#1 H2H BOWLER Doug Bonney Runner Up: Matthew Taylor
FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE) "Let me get this straight. Every October 31 my Dad is going to roll me down the sidewalk to knock over kids and take their candy? Fuck this Halloween shit. I'm out. Somebody stuff my chubby-cheeked ass back into the womb" Frankenfrankee Gunderson, on her first Halloween.