The twelfth week of Spring 2025 was anything but business as usual. With the rest of the standings seemingly immobile, the bottom two teas traded places once again. JoAnne Barber claimed this week’s high game (153) and series (373) for the women, while Nick Kinney dominated for the men with a ferocious 210 game and a blazing 577 series. But before the first frame even began, the crowd had something extra to cheer about...

A photobombing Scoot, Deena, Bob, Angela, and Bill!

The alley was graced by a surprise visit from some league royalty: Angela Bradford, Bill Krejci, Bob Brunker, and Deena Slinkard! Angela and Bob, founding members from the league’s humble 1999 beginnings, were last regular bowlers in the Covid season, though Bob also subbed during the league’s first season here at St. John’s. Bill and Deena, staples since Fall 2000, haven’t rolled since Spring 2014 and 2009 respectively—but Bill picked up a ball once again as a sub tonight while Deena, Angela, and Bob heckled with the finesse of seasoned pros from the bar.

First up, on lanes 1 & 2: It was David vs. Squidliath as the scrappy Gutterly Hopeless squared off against the ink-slinging strike machine known as Squid Row. And yet—against the odds—Gutterly Hopeless held their own to a stunning series split, thanks in part to Jeremy Varnell's 383 series. “I didn’t expect us to see any good action tonight,” Jeremy admitted, “but my balls had other plans.” On the flip side, Squid Row stayed cool under pressure, led by Chris Windham's mighty 508 series. “It’s all in the wrist, I mean tentacles,” Chris said, not elaborating. With the series tied 2-2, Gutterly Hopeless hops back into 5th place, while Squid Row -- in no immediate danger of losing their grasp on 3rd, saw their gap from 2nd place widen a bit.

On lanes 3 & 4: It was a deep dive into disaster for Bowls Deep as they were completely swept by the ever-ominous . Despite Ian Estey's 489 series, the pins refused to cooperate. “You need to add a prize for most gutterballs,” Brian Schaben muttered after his 4th in a row. On the other side, Team Name Loading was fully operational. Scott Murdock's better than usual 503 series and Most Valuable Bowler Tim Deddens' clutch strikes kept them locked in all night. “I finally stopped overthinking it and just pretended the pins wete my kids refusing to do their chores,” Tim confessed. The 4-0 sweep keeps Team Name Loading firmly in 2nd, while Bowls Deep remain in 4th, in desperate need of a reboot.

Black smoke means FILPB saw to it no new league leader was selected this week.

Finally, down on lanes 5 & 6: FFK FILPB. It was heartbreak in feline form as FFK got thoroughly swept by FILPB. Scott Lawson gave it his all with a 416 series, but it wasn’t enough to stop the freight train that is #1 Power Ranked and #1 Head-to-Head Nick Kinney, who stormed the lanes with a roaring 577 series. “I found out I'm on the short list for a job opening that just became available in Rome so I had to treat these games as an audition,” Kinney said with a wink. Meanwhile FFK curled up in 6th place, licking their wounds. “I think I used up all nine lives tonight,” muttered Cat, staring into the distance.

Bowlers who headed down the street to The 200 Club include: Chris Windham (207) and Nick Kinney (210)

In this week's Tournament of Champions brackets: Nick Kinney routed Division 1, while Scott Murdock trounced Division 2. Chris Lenz mopped up Division 3, and Cat Atwood dominated Division 4. In terms of overall points: Ian Estey holds the reins in Division 1; Scott Murdock runs the show in Division 2; Tim Deddens reigns over Division 3; and Brian Schaben calls the shots for Division 4.

NEXT WEEK:

• First, on lanes 1&2, 1st-place FILPB will hang out with 2nd-place (hcp 50). Eff It is expected to maintain their current strength as they just barely miss sweeping the series; while Team Name Loading is forecast to hold steady as they just barely avoid getting swept.
• Moving to lanes 3&4, 6th-place FFK will tussle with 5th-place Gutterly Hopeless (hcp 52). Kittens might roll a little low, yet still manage to win the series; while Hopeless ought to hold steady as they avoid getting swept.
• Finally, on lanes 5&6, 3rd-place Squid Row will battle 4th-place Bowls Deep (hcp 108). Squid is predicted to roll decently and sweep the series; while DEEEEEEP is anticipated to hold steady as they endure a rough night.

^*(Remember, the predicted results above are based on mathematical extrapolations and can be changed by all sorts of factors. If you don't like how your team's results are predicted, you and your teammates have the power to prove the math wrong!)

THIS WEEK'S MVB Tim Deddens Runner Up: (See Posting)	#1 POWER BOWLER Nick Kinney Runner Up: Chris Windham	#1 H2H BOWLER Nick Kinney Runner Up: Scott Murdock
FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE) "Tim has one hard ball." Brian Schaben, offering his diagnosis after performing a complete examination of Tim Deddens.

Pos.	Team name	Record	Percent	Total Pins	Change
1	FILPB	33.5-14.5	.698	23,382	n/a
2	(Team Name Loading)	30.5-17.5	.635	21,242	n/a
3	Squid Row	28-20	.583	23,704	n/a
4	Bowls Deep	19.5-28.5	.406	18,318	n/a
5	Gutterly Hopeless	16.5-31.5	.344	17,534	+1
6	FFK	16-32	.333	19,893	-1