It seems only fitting that about midway through the evening "Dust In the Wind" by Kansas played on the overhead sound system, considering that by the time the dust all settled Dustin Schmeltz landed this week's high series, swept all the weekly awards, and won his Tournament division too. Meanwhile AJ Hofmann left jaws and balls dropping with his 235 high game as two pairs of teams swapped places in the standings. Let's dive into the pulse-pounding action!

First up, on lanes 1 & 2: In a showdown that pitted the unassuming underdogs of Stealing Pins in the Burrows against the reigning titans of Squid Row, the unexpected played out in stunning fashion. Chris Lenz's radiant 406 series propelled the Pin Thieves to a triumphant clean sweep over the Calimari. The exhilaration was palpable as Stealing Pins climbed a precious rung to 4th place, savoring every moment of their hard-earned victory. On the opposite side, despite Matthew Taylor's commendable 548 series, the Squids inked up a bitter defeat, swept away and left shaken, though still clutching onto their 1st place ranking.

On lanes 3 & 4: It was a head-to-head battle between evenly matched squads, as Scooter's Succulent Sausages™ took on Sun Dolphins. Dustin Schmeltz, the triple crown king—reigning supreme as #1 Head-to-Head, #1 Power-Ranked, and Most Valuable Bowler—delivered a sizzling 585 series that propelled the Sausage to a jubilant clean sweep. With each strike and spare, Scooter's Succulent Sausages™ simmered in their newly-restored 2nd place juices. Across the lanes, Scott Thompson’s 422 series couldn't lift the spirits of the Sun Dolphins, who endured a devastating defeat and remain beached in 6th place.

Finally, down on lanes 5 & 6: The fierce juggernauts of Scootytang squared off against the relentless fighters of Bowls Deep. Aaron Barber's mighty 575 series secured 3 crucial wins for Tang, leaving them riding high on the thrill of their partial conquest despite dropping to 3rd place in the standings. Meanwhile, Nicholas Knight valiantly led Bowls Deep with a 410 series, but even his best efforts only yielded a single game win, leaving Bowls Deep sinking with frustration as they slipped down to 5th place.

Bowlers blustering into The 200 Club include: Aaron Barber (203), AJ Hofmann (235), Dustin Schmeltz (202,202), Matthew Taylor (204), and Seth Gunderson (200)

In this week's Tournament of Champions brackets: Nobody claimed victory in Division 1 (though Dennis Walling came closest), while Dustin Schmeltz creamed Division 2. JoAnne Barber triumphed over her enemies in Division 3, and Jim Koger rolled his ass to the top of Division 4. In terms of overall points: Seth Gunderson reigns over Division 1; Scott Murdock runs the show in Division 2; JoAnne Barber and Buck Nasty hold the reins in Division 3 in a tie; and Chris Lenz leads Division 4.

NEXT WEEK:

• First, on lanes 1&2, 5th-place Bowls Deep will test their mettle against 6th-place Sun Dolphins (hcp 24). Bowls are expected to maintain their current strength as they sweep the series; while Dolphins are forecast to hold steady as they endure a rough night.
• Moving to lanes 3&4, 3rd-place Scootytang will match wits with 4th-place Stealing Pins in the Burrows (hcp 144). Tang might perform well and sweep the series; while Pin Thieves ought to hold steady as they endure a rough night.
• Finally, on lanes 5&6, 1st-place Squid Row will meet with 2nd-place Scooter's Succulent Sausages™ (hcp 65). Calimari is predicted to have a bit of an off night, but split the series with Sausagemakers; while Sausagemakers are anticipated to hold steady as they keep the series tied.

^*(Remember, the predicted results above are based on mathematical extrapolations and can be changed by all sorts of factors. If you don't like how your team's results are predicted, you and your teammates have the power to prove the math wrong!)

THIS WEEK'S MVB Dustin Schmeltz Runner Up: (See Posting)	#1 POWER BOWLER Dustin Schmeltz Runner Up: Chris Lenz	#1 H2H BOWLER Dustin Schmeltz Runner Up: Aaron Barber
FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE) "What are you, a gay cheese?" Jimmy, from South Park, after an order of what sounded like Cheese "Dicks" that was called out over the PA led to snickering across all the lanes.