As the equinox brought us the change in seasons, it also brought us one small change in the standings. The ninth week of Spring 2024 blossomed, with one team soaring to new heights and another plummeting into the depths of despair. JoAnne Barber, Ben Spencer, and Matthew Taylor stood as titans -- JoAnne claiming high game (138) and series (396) for the woman, while Ben's 242 was the men's high game and Matthew took men's high series with his 642. And this week's Bingo game saw the most Bingos of any week so far!

First up, on lanes 1 & 2, the aquatic elegance of the Sun Dolphins clashed with the seasoned grumpiness of the Grumpy Old Men in a battle of wits and balls. Despite the valiant efforts of Ryan Sisco, whose above-average 460 series served as a beacon of hope for the Dolphins, the tide was against them much of the evening. With AJ Hofmann leading the charge with his impressive 508 series, the Grumps seized victory, clinching a triumphant 3 wins. As the Dolphins languished in defeat, their hopes dashed with only 1 win to their name, the Grumpy Old Men rejoiced, ascending a spot in the standings with glee.

On lanes 3 & 4, the raging battle between DB Lenz a Hand and It Starts Now! unfolded like a tale of two rival kingdoms. Doug Lenz emerged as the stalwart defender of his team's honor, wielding his above-average 475 series with finesse. The Lenz Handlers marched to victory, claiming 3 decisive wins against their opponents. Yet, amidst the jubilation, a lone beacon of hope shone for It Starts Now! Brett Affolter rallied his team with a better-than-normal 515 series, but alas, it was not enough to stave off defeat as they succumbed to a solitary win. DB Lenz a Hand celebrated their triumph, holding their ground in 5th place, while It Starts Now! suffered the bitter sting of defeat, slipping down a spot in the rankings.

Finally, on lanes 5 & 6, the showdown between Squid Row and Schindler's Fists crackled with anticipation. Trifecta-winner (#1 Head-to-Head, #1 Power-Ranked, and Most Valuable Bowler) Matthew Taylor led the charge for the Squids with his impressive 641 series, squirting his ink all over the scoresheet. With precision and finesse, the Squid squad launched a relentless assault, sucker-punching the Fists with a clean sweep. Across the lanes, Michael Gordon of Schindler's Fists rallied his team with a better-than-normal 584 series, but their efforts were in vain as they were swept away by the Squids' dominance. As Squid Row maintained their iron grip on 1st place, reveling in their victory, Schindler's Fists were left to lick their wounds, clinging to 2nd place with shattered dreams of triumph.

Bowlers sneaking into The 200 Club include: Aaron Barber (218), Ben Spencer (242,205), Matthew Taylor (215,227), and Michael Gordon (227)

In this week's Tournament of Champions brackets: Matthew Taylor triumphed over his enemies in Division 1, while Jeremy Varnell spanked Division 2. Ray Scott routed Division 3, and Brian Schaben had his way with Division 4. In terms of overall points: Matthew Taylor dominates Division 1; Jeremy Varnell and Scott Thompson are both in the driver's seat (on each other's laps?) in Division 2 in a tie; Doug Lenz calls the shots for Division 3; and Carl Mueller runs the show in Division 4.

NEXT WEEK:

• First, on lanes 1&2, 5th-place DB Lenz a Hand (hcp 105) will challenge 1st-place Squid Row. Lenz Handlers are expected to maintain their current strength as they get swept; while Squids are forecast to raise their average while they rack up a sweep.
• Moving to lanes 3&4, 3rd-place Grumpy Old Men (hcp 52) will test their mettle against 2nd-place Schindler's Fists. Grumps might maintain their current strength as they lose the series but avoid getting swept; while Fists ought to hold steady as they enjoy their victories.
• Finally, on lanes 5&6, 4th-place It Starts Now! will meet with 6th-place Sun Dolphins (hcp 56). Starts are predicted to roll decently and win the series; while Dolphins are anticipated to hold steady as they avoid getting swept.

^*(Remember, the predicted results above are based on mathematical extrapolations and can be changed by all sorts of factors. If you don't like how your team's results are predicted, you and your teammates have the power to prove the math wrong!)

THIS WEEK'S MVB Matthew Taylor Runner Up: (See Posting)	#1 POWER BOWLER Matthew Taylor Runner Up: Ben Spencer	#1 H2H BOWLER Matthew Taylor Runner Up: Michael Gordon
FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE) "Can you do that to mine next?" Doug Lenz, to Brian Schaben, as Brian was caressing his balls with a soft towel.