We are now halfway through the Spring 2023 season and one thing has become clear in recent weeks: Sun Dolphins have figured something out and are on the cusp of finding out what it's like to not be in last place. One Dolphin in particular set a new personal best series. JoAnne Barber continues to reign supreme among the woman. As for the men, Matthew Taylor snagged this week's high game with a 222, and high series was earned by Carl Goetz with a 551. Read on for all the rest of the details!

First up, on lanes 1 & 2: Back to their "favorite" lanes for the fourth time this season Just Shitty Enough had a fateful rendezvous Let's Split Up Gang!. Though reinforced by Carl Goetz with his 551 series, Just Shitty got swept by the splitter-uppers. On the adjacent lane, Doug Lenz with his better-than-normal 474 series inspired the splitter-uppers (with kudos to Most Valuable Bowler JoAnne Barber) as they swept the competition. Just Shitty Enough plummets 2 spots in the standings to 3rd place, while the splitter-uppers move up 1 spot to 2nd. Good news for Shitty fans: They burned through 2/3 of their Lanes 1-2 appearances in the first half of the season and only have to experience them two more times. Even better news: It sounds like the Twister Pins those lanes use may be going away very soon.

On lanes 3 & 4: Glory Bowl made a plan to claim victory over Balderdash. The plan only worked for one game, but that was all they needed. While the leadership of Kent Harms and his 526 series gave the G-Holers accomplished only 1 win against Bald Boys, this combined with the events on lanes 1 & 2 was all they needed to make a big advance in the standings. In the meantime, stressed by the shotclock Ben Spencer with his 503 series shone in Bald Boys as his team took the match with 3 wins. Glory Bowl climbs 1 spot in the standings to 1st place, while Bald Boys remain in 4th.

Did someone say my name?
Who the heck are you?
I'm Dolph Lundgren, best known for Rocky IV.
Nope, go away, we have no porpoise for you.

Finally, down on lanes 5 & 6: Can someone please irresponsibly cast some tun nets? Continuing their tear for a third week in a row, Sun Dolphins smacked I Thought This Was AA? around with their flippers then dragged them all under to drown them. Even though highlighted by the skills of Scott Murdock with his above-average 466 series, the bowlaholics got swept by Dolphins. Conversely, #1 Power Ranked and #1 Head-to-Head Scott Thompson and his straight-up ludicrous 508 series ruled Dolphins as they swept the competition. I Thought This Was AA? remains in 5th place, while Dolphins remain in 6th... numbers that have a reasonable chance of flipping next week.

In addition to Ben, a few of you also noticed the new shotclock on the scoreboard. Don't worry! It's not a penalizing thing, it's just there for fun. Look for callouts for speed and lollygagging on future weekly printed recap sheets. A couple of notes: Thee is no shotclock on the first frame of any game, since that's when people pee and poo and smoke and order more beer. There is also no shotclock for the second ball of any frame since it's assumed that any delay in the middle of a frame is likely a mechanical issue.

Bowlers posing for their Instas at The 200 Club include: Carl Goetz (211), Kent Harms (221), Matthew Taylor (222), Michael Gordon (202), and Nick Kinney (204)

A new personal best series was rolled tonight by Scott Thompson (508, previous best 487).

In this week's Tournament of Champions brackets: Carl Goetz whipped Division 1, while nobody claimed victory in Division 2, and in fact we aren't even going to talk about Division 2 as it was a complete embarassment. Scott Murdock dominated Division 3, and Clayton Burrow triumphed over his enemies in Division 4. In terms of overall points: Carl Goetz holds the reins in Division 1; Brett Affolter and Kent Harms govern Division 2 in a tie; Scott Murdock and Scott Thompson top Division 3 in a tie; and Jim Koger calls the shots for Division 4.

NEXT WEEK:

• First, on lanes 1&2, 5th-place I Thought This Was AA? (hcp 97) will chill with 4th-place Balderdash. The bowlaholics are expected to maintain their current strength as they and split the series with Bald Boys; while Bald Boys are forecast to drop their average a bit while they keep the series tied.
• Moving to lanes 3&4, 6th-place Sun Dolphins (hcp 58) will hang out with 2nd-place Let's Split Up Gang!. Dolphins might roll a little low and lose the series but avoid getting swept; while the splitter-uppers ought to hold steady as they enjoy their victories.
• Finally, on lanes 5&6, 1st-place Glory Bowl (hcp 96) will chuck some balls with 3rd-place Just Shitty Enough. The G-Holers are predicted to roll decently and sweep the series; while Just Shitty is anticipated to drop their average a bit while they endure a rough night.

^*(Remember, the predicted results above are based on mathematical extrapolations and can be changed by all sorts of factors. If you don't like how your team's results are predicted, you and your teammates have the power to prove the math wrong!)

THIS WEEK'S MVB JoAnne Barber Runner Up: (See Posting)	#1 POWER BOWLER Scott Thompson Runner Up: Michael Gordon	#1 H2H BOWLER Scott Thompson Runner Up: Doug Lenz
FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE) "So basically you're mud that lives in the mud." Nathan Burrows, to Clayton Burrow, after Clayton explained the etymology of his first and last name.