By now every team has bowled each other once, so next week the cycle begins anew. This week saw one team climb in the standings, and one bowler set both a new personal best series and a new personal high game. JoAnne Barber picked up this week's high game (134) and series (385) for the women. As for the men, Seth Gunderson snagged this week's high game with a 246, and high series was earned by Ian Goetz with a 614. Read on for all the rest of the details, and learn how the concept of time dilation was demonstrated fully this evening.

First up, on lanes 1 & 2: With both teams missing a member, the three remaining members of Going, Going, BALD! couldn't stop undressing with their eyes the present members of Glory Bowl as each took their stance upon the lanes. Though reinforced by Matthew Taylor with his above-average 591 series, Baldness fell to their knees whence their eyes had seen coming of the the Glory of the Bowl. Meanwhile #1 Power-Ranked Kent Harms and his staggering 601 series called the shots for Glory (with kudos to Most Valuable Bowler Brett Affolter) as they swept the competition. Going, Going, BALD! remains in 2nd place, while Glory remains in 3rd.

On lanes 3 & 4: In a rather lopsided matchup, a portion of ChuckaScoot celebrated their love of big balls with the back half of Flamboyant Fluffykins. Propelled by the skills of #1 Head-to-Head Ian Goetz and his above-average 614 series, Scoot Chuckers enjoyed a clean sweep over Fluffykins. Countering this, Dustin Schmeltz with his 495 series showed off for Flamboyant despite his team getting swept. ChuckaScoot remains in 1st place, while Flamboyant sinks 1 spot to 6th.

In the movie Interstellar, it was noted that due to the world's proximity to the black hole, the intense gravity caused such intense time dilation that for each hour spent on Miller's Planet, seven years passed on Earth. This was demonstrated tonight on lanes 5 & 6, where the intense gravitational field caused by eight bodies compressed into a small seating area slowed time to such an extent that for each frame rolled by these two teams, 7 frames were rolled by everyone else. With the narrowest of handicaps, The Wally McWallingtons nearly turned bowling into an all-nighter spent with Splits & Giggles. Despite the "strength" of Scott Murdock with his below-average 457 series, The McWallingtons got swept by Giggles. Meanwhile, Jeremy Varnell with his better-than-normal 445 series reigned supreme within Giggles as they swept the competition. The Wally McWallingtons remains in 4th place, while Giggles move up 1 spot to 5th.

Bowlers ducking past the bouncer at The 200 Club include: Brett Affolter (203), Ian Goetz (211,204), Kent Harms (212,243), Matthew Taylor (204,206), and Seth Gunderson (246)

A new personal high game was set tonight by Kent Harms (243, previous best 230). In addition, a new personal best series was rolled by Kent Harms (601, previous best 574).

In this week's Tournament of Champions brackets: Nobody claimed victory in Division 1 (though Matthew Taylor came closest), while Brett Affolter spanked Division 2. Jeremy Varnell creamed Division 3, and nobody claimed victory in Division 4, and in fact we aren't even going to talk about Division 4 as it was a complete embarassment. In terms of overall points: Matthew Taylor calls the shots for Division 1; Kent Harms holds the reins in Division 2; Jeremy Varnell and Chris Windham govern Division 3 in a tie; and Collin Lavery tops Division 4.

NEXT WEEK:

• First, on lanes 1&2, 6th-place Flamboyant Fluffykins will chuck some balls with 5th-place Splits & Giggles (hcp 8). Flamboyant is expected to maintain their current strength as they sweep the series; while Giggles are forecast to drop their average a bit while they endure a rough night.
• Moving to lanes 3&4, 4th-place The Wally McWallingtons (hcp 42) will meet with 3rd-place Glory Bowl. The McWallingtons might roll a little low and get swept; while Glory ought to hold steady as they rack up a sweep.
• Finally, on lanes 5&6, 2nd-place Going, Going, BALD! (hcp 47) will face 1st-place ChuckaScoot. Baldness are predicted to have a bit of an off night and get swept; while Scoot Chuckers are anticipated to raise their average while they rack up a sweep.

^*(Remember, the predicted results above are based on mathematical extrapolations and can be changed by all sorts of factors. If you don't like how your team's results are predicted, you and your teammates have the power to prove the math wrong!)

THIS WEEK'S MVB Brett Affolter Runner Up: (See Posting)	#1 POWER BOWLER Kent Harms Runner Up: Brett Affolter	#1 H2H BOWLER Ian Goetz Runner Up: Brett Affolter
FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE) "Man, I kept grabbing Matthew Taylor's balls by mistake tonight!" Kent Harms, enjoying bowling to the fullest.