As our league offocially celebrated its 20th birthday, some sort of malaise of old age set in. Apart from a few bright spots, rolling this week was so lackluster than not only did no one earn Most Valuable Bowler, nobody even qualified to be a runner-up! Through the mediocirty two teams did manage to climb in the standings, to the detriment of the two teams that slipped. Freda Schroeder picked up this week's high game (159) and series (433) for the women. As for the men, Dennis Walling snagged this week's high game with a 256, and high series was earned by Seth Gunderson with a 583. Read on for all the rest of the details!

On lanes 3 & 4: BDE had some fun scaring the split out of Scared Splitless. Reinforced by Jeremy Cline with his 561 series, BDE collected 3 wins against Splitless. However #1 Power Ranked and #1 Head-to-Head Curtis Whiles and his better-than-normal 544 series propped up Splitless despite his team notching only a single win. With the strength Curtis has been showing, this likely would not be a last-place team if they weren't saddled with a Vacancy. BDE climbs 1 spot in the standings to 4th place, while Splitless remain in 8th.

On lanes 5 & 6: A battle of league titans as C.I.C.K. Ass 2 tried to fight against See you next Tuesday! but just couldn't seem to get their hearts into it. Though led (somewhat) by Ken M. Wilson with his 576 series, CICK got swept by Next Tuesday. In the meantime, Seth Gunderson with his better-than-normal 583 series saw Next Tuesday sweep the competition. C.I.C.K. Ass 2 remains in 2nd place, while Next Tuesday remains in 1st.

On lanes 7 & 8: In what many perceived as a race between tortoises and sloths, The James Tott Center for Kids Who Can't Bowl Good and Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Too hoped to be able to outperform Rear Admirals. Despite being propelled by James Tott with his above-average 473 series, James Tott School for B's accomplished only 1 win against Admirals. Keeping the p[ace slow and steady, Scott Murdock with his 498 series inspired Admirals as his team took the match with 3 wins. The James Tott Center for Kids Who Can't Bowl Good and Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Too drops 1 spot in the standings to 5th place, while Admirals move up 1 spot to 6th.

Finally, down on lanes 9 & 10: In the night's most unbalanced matchup, two members Pin Is King 2 faced off against two members of Bowl Movements and their new sub. Featuring Dennis Walling with his above-average 578 series, Kings collected a clean sweep over Movements. On the other half of the score sheet, Conor Clarke with his (almost had to be sandbagging, but why???) 350 series motivated Movements despite his team getting swept. Pin Is King 2 remains in 3rd place, while Movements sink 1 spot to 7th.

Bowlers slipping into The 200 Club include: Cory Chorpenning (241), Curtis Whiles (202), Dennis Walling (256), Ian Goetz (235), Jonathan Vigliaturo (208), Ken M. Wilson (214), Nick Kinney (205), and Seth Gunderson (252)

In this week's Tournament of Champions brackets: Jeremy Cline walloped Division 1, while Scott Murdock rolled his ass to the top of Division 2. Curtis Whiles vanquished Division 3, and nobody claimed victory in Division 4 (though Brian Bockelman came closest). In terms of overall points: Michael Gordon runs the show in Division 1; Scott Murdock and Rob Kaszuba reign over Division 2 in a tie; Conor Clarke calls the shots for Division 3; and Jared Nuhn leads Division 4.

BOWLING THROUGH TIME... (Full Results)

This Week's Results vs Spring 2010:

1. BDE went 2-2 against Scoot Gave Us The Schlitz
2. Scared Splitless went 1-3 against 3 Pin Moon
3. C.I.C.K. Ass 2 went 2-2 against No Pinheads
4. See you next Tuesday! went 0-4 against Empire Strikes Back
5. The James Tott Center for Kids Who Can't Bowl Good... went 3-1 against Lil' Devils
6. Rear Admirals went 3-1 against Bowlumpkin
7. Pin Is King 2 went 3-1 against The Prak Attack
8. Bowl Movements went 0-4 against Little Lebowski Urban Achievers

Current Standings:

• C.I.C.K. Ass 2: 30-10
• See you next Tuesday!: 27-13
• Pin Is King 2: 26-14
• The James Tott Center for Kids Who Can't Bowl Good...: 25.5-14.5
• Rear Admirals: 19-21
• Bowl Movements: 18.5-21.5
• BDE: 17.5-22.5
• Scared Splitless: 17-23

The top 4 teams in terms of points at the end of the season will win extra cash.

NEXT WEEK:

• First, on lanes 3&4, 6th-place Rear Admirals (hcp 117) will compete against 1st-place See you next Tuesday!. Admirals are expected to maintain their current strength as they get swept; while Next Tuesday is forecast to hold steady as they rack up a sweep.
• Moving to lanes 5&6, 4th-place BDE (hcp 99) will meet with 3rd-place Pin Is King 2. BDE might maintain their current strength as they lose the series but avoid getting swept; while Kings ought to drop their average a bit even as they enjoy their victories.
• Then, over on lanes 7&8, 2nd-place C.I.C.K. Ass 2 will chuck some balls with 7th-place Bowl Movements (hcp 231). CICK will likely have a bit of an off night, yet still manage to win the series; while Movements will probably hold steady as they avoid getting swept.
• Finally, on lanes 9&10, 5th-place The James Tott Center for Kids Who Can't Bowl Good and Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Too will socialize with 8th-place Scared Splitless (estimated hcp 29). James Tott School for B's are predicted to maintain their current strength as they win the series; while Splitless are anticipated to hold steady as they avoid getting swept.

^*(Remember, the predicted results above are based on mathematical extrapolations and can be changed by all sorts of factors. If you don't like how your team's results are predicted, you and your teammates have the power to prove the math wrong!)

THIS WEEK'S MVB No one Runner Up: (See Posting)	#1 POWER BOWLER Curtis Whiles Runner Up: Dennis Walling	#1 H2H BOWLER Curtis Whiles Runner Up: Jeremy Cline
FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE) "You can see right here, me theories predicted this. The gravitational perturbations surrounding your team's anchor cause time dilation and this is why you are the last to finish." Albert Einstein, on why one matchup was taking to long.