Six weeks ago, seven teams embarked on a journey to take the title in the VML Bowling League. With the midway point quickly approaching, four of those teams seem to be distancing themselves from the rest of the pack en route to what should be an exciting position round on October 12th. While there was no change whatsoever in the top four spots on the standings, the gap between first place has been narrowed even more. Want to know how everyone did? Well, read on...When will someone be nice to the monkeys?!? You certainly can't count on Ground Zero Mosque to do so, at least not this week. Facing the 7th place Feed the Monkey team, the Zeroes wasted no time in dishing out a 4-0 beat down over their competition. Led by anchor Jason Carpio's 516 series, the Zeroes remain in the hunt by improving their record to 16-8 for the season while remaining in 3rd place. The Monkeys, once again led by Chris Able – who booked a 458 series for the night – came up short and continue to hold the league's worst record at 1-23. Things look brighter next week for the Monkeys as they face everyone's favorite competitors, Ray & Stevie.Electing to post-bowl for their second and final time this season was Kitten Mittons, whose scores ended up as we predicted. Winning all four against the blind team, the Mittons – led by anchor Nick Allegri's 474 series – easily earned their four wins and remain in 4th place with a record of 16-8.Down on lanes #19 & 20, the Pin Pricks faced opponents Drink and Hurl for the first time this season. With each game coming down to the wire, the Pricks managed to get the best of the Hurlers when it counted the most. Leading the team this week was anchor Ken M. Wilson, who ended his night with a 622 series (shut up, Ian!) and earned Most Valuable Bowler honors as well as the #1 Power Ranking spot for Week #6 for his performance. The Pricks improve to 18-6 and are now one game back from first place. The Hurlers, who were led by lead off bowler Jake Parrott and his 433 series, came up short and remain in 6th place with a record of 11-13. Everyone will hear the old phrase "every pin counts!" at least once in their lives as a member of any bowling league. Such was the case for league leaders No Pinheads as they narrowly took a 3-1 matchup victory over opponents Bowl Movement Tuesday night. After emphatically taking Game #1, the second game down to the wire and was decided by a mere 2 pins. Bowl Movement was able to continue their momentum in Game #3 – mainly due to a 470 series performance from Brian Cunningham – to steal the victory and improve their record to 12-12 on the season. The Pinheads were led by Phil Schroeder, who rolled a 526 series. The Pinheads remain atop the league standings while Bowl Movement remains in 5th place. Bowlers slipping into The 200 Club this week include: Carl Goetz (208, 204), David Codding, (214, 217), Ken M. Wilson (215, 213) and Phil Schroeder (201).For the full results of this week, please check out Season 22, Week 6.See you next Tuesday!

THIS WEEK'S MVB Ken M. Wilson Runner Up: (See Posting)	#1 POWER BOWLER Ken Wilson Runner Up: David Codding	#1 H2H BOWLER Ken M. Wilson Runner Up: Phil Schroeder
FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE) "Talk about an aptly named team...'specially that tall guy." Aaron Chandler, after falling 0-4 to the Pin Pricks.

If historians ever study the 22nd season of the VML Bowling League and look for the week in which the tables turned the most, we predict that it will be Week #5. Of course, we'd all wonder why the hell they are studying our bowling league in the first place but one never truly knows. Regardless, Week #5 was the week in which the first place teams massive win streak was ended and when the standings were tightened quite a bit. A mere five games now separate six of the eight teams in the league. Want to know how things shook out? Well, read on...Having warned No Pinheads last week that they would end their win streak, the Pin Pricks looked as if they were going to have to eat their words. Instead, at the hands of this week's #1 Power Bowler Carl Goetz, the Pricks stood true to their word. Led by Carl's 680 series, the Pricks took a 3-1 matchup victory over the current league leaders. The Pinheads' anchor Freda Schroeder put up the top series for her team – a 495 – but it was only good enough for the Game #1 victory. The Pinheads streak ends at 12 games but not before amassing the season's best record at 16-4. The Pricks remain in second place, trailing behind by two games.After adding only one win to their record last week, Bowl Movement stormed back Tuesday night with a 3-1 matchup victory over opponents Drink and Hurl. Game #3 was settled by a mere 11 pins in favor of the Hurlers, compliments of a 420 series out of Aaron Chandler. But it was the 469 series from Brian Cunningham that pushed his Bowl Movement teammates into the victor's circle. Movement improves to 11-9 on the season and find themselves in 5th place, barely inching Drink and Hurl in the standings due to total pins. A mere three bowlers rolled on Lanes 19 & 20 in the first meeting between Ground Zero Mosque and the team blinded since birth – Ray & Stevie. Amazingly, Game #1 found the Mosque letting the victory against themselves slip away. Derrick Grimpo, however, turned the tide for his team and brought them back for a 3-1 series win with his 418 series. The Mosque move up one spot into 3rd place while the memberless blind team remains in 8th place.Make no doubt about it, Kitten Mittons is on a roll. With only two bowlers showing up, the team managed the only 4-0 clean sweep on the lanes last night while facing opponents Feed the Monkey. Led by this week's Most Valuable Bowler Kelly Sands and his 491 series, the Mittons jump two spots up into 4th place. Coming very, very close to reversing their fortunes in Game #2 (which ended in a 3-pin loss), the Monkeys continue to seek out their second victory of the season. Chris Able continues to put up the largest numbers for the Feeders, ending his night with a 448 series. Feed the Monkey remains in 7th place.Bowlers spied busting a move this week in The 200 Club include: Carl Goetz (214, 242, 224), Freda Schroeder (214) and Ken M. Wilson (202, 240).For the full results of this week, please check out Season 22, Week 5.See you next Tuesday!

THIS WEEK'S MVB Kelly Sands Runner Up: (See Posting)	#1 POWER BOWLER Carl Goetz Runner Up: Ken Wilson	#1 H2H BOWLER Carl Goetz Runner Up: Brian Cunningham
FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE) "Come on, Winger...bowl higher than the number of candles on your last birthday cake!" Jerry Krall, to teammate Dave Winger when Game #3 was on the line.

Week #4 is now just a memory as the 28 members of the VML Bowling League have logged their scores into the history books. While the bowlers of No Pinheads continue to add to their impressive record, the rest of the league continues to beat up on one another in an effort to topple the current league leaders. How did your favorite team fare this week? Read on, my good friend, and find out...They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. Such may be the case for Ground Zero Mosque who welcomed back anchor Jason Carpio with open arms after a 2-week absence. Carpio, putting up a 509 series, reversed the fortunes of his team while securing a 3-1 victory over opponents Bowl Movement. Managing to save her team from getting blanked, Jessica Thomas of the Movement put up a team-leading 375 series just in the nick of time to take Game #3 by a margin of nine pins. The lone win drops the Movement two spots into 5th place while the members of the Mosque hold steady in 4th place.Pushing their current win streak to 11 games, everything seems to be coming up roses for No Pinheads. With an impressive 579 series from lead off bowler Aubrey Moren (who was also #1 in this week's Power Ranking), the Pinheads denied this season's underdogs – Feed the Monkey – from doubling their win record. Adding four more notches to their win column, the Pinheads are off to a 15-1 start and currently dominate the league standings. The Monkeys, led by Chris Massey's 358 series, end their first month in the league with the opposite record of 1-15 in 8th place.After losing Game #1 by two hundred pins, this week's Most Valuable Bowler sprung into action. Kitten Mittons' very own Alison Radke decided that enough was enough and put on the performance of her career. Rolling both her personal best highest game and highest series ever, Radke's scores – combined with a team-leading 468 series from teammate Kelly Sands – dashed any hopes of the Pin Pricks gaining any ground in the league standings. Despite a 632 series out of the Prick's Ian Goetz, the team never recovered after their Game #1 victory and split the series at two games apiece. While the Pricks remain in 2nd place, the Mittons slip one spot into 6th place. What do you call a team that would pick on the blind? Drink and Hurl, that's what. Facing the eternally-sightless team Ray & Stevie, the Hurlers wasted no time in adding four more wins to their season's record. With lead off bowler Jake Parrott hoisting a team-leading 426 series, Drink and Hurl improved to a 10-6 record and vaulted from sixth place into 3rd. Bowlers cursing the names of their fellow competitors this week in The 200 Club include: Aubrey Moren (212), Carl Goetz (233), Dennis "Pops" Laube (206) and Ian Goetz (236, 200).For the full results of this week, please check out Season 22, Week 4.See you next Tuesday!

THIS WEEK'S MVB Alison Radke Runner Up: (See Posting)	#1 POWER BOWLER Aubrey Moren Runner Up: Ian Goetz	#1 H2H BOWLER Aubrey Moren Runner Up: Ian Goetz
FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE) "Damn. I haven't been spanked this hard by an old person since I set the living room rug on fire as a child." Emily Podhajsky, after her team fell 0-4 to the members of No Pinheads.

Week #3 of 17 is officially history now and with it came some surprises. While more than half the league changed places in the standings, No Pinheads continues to rack up victories and mow down anyone they face. How long can they remain at the top of the heap? Only time will tell. With the newly launched Power Rankings feature in place, one bowler has taken both MVB and the #1 Power Ranking for the week. Here's how the night went down...After completing their post-bowling on Friday afternoon, the results from the matchup between Drink & Hurl and Kitten Mittons could be calculated. After taking Games #1 and #2, the Kittens' quest for a sweep was halted dead in its tracks by a surging Drink & Hurl comeback. Led by Aaron Chandler's 358 series, the Hurlers were able to tie the series up at two games apiece. Mittons was led by anchor Nick Allegri, who hoisted a 499 series for his team. The tied series also results in the teams tying with a 6-6 record overall, but due to total pins the standings find Kitten Mittons (5th place) just above Drink & Hurl (6th place). After taking a swift kick to the nads last week, the men of Pin Pricks bounced back with a 4-0 victory over hapless Ray & Stevie. Leading the charge was big man David Codding whose team-leading 603 series is the first of the season to crest the 600+ mark but also pushes him to the #1 cumulative spot on the Power Rankings. The victories push the Pricks back up into 2nd place with a record of 9-3. It looks like it may take more than just prayer to help Ground Zero Mosques ascend to a higher spot in the standings...especially after they ran head first into the league's leading team, No Pinheads. Increasing their win-streak to seven games now, the Pinheads trounced Ground Zero four games to nothing on Lanes 19 & 20. Putting up the top numbers for the Pinheads was Dennis "Pops" Laube, who ended his evening with a 517 series. On the losing side, fill-in anchor Scott Murdock tried his best to stop the competition with his 506 series but it just wasn't enough. Will Jason Carpio ever return and help his team out? The members of No Pinheads don't care as they remain in first place. Ground Zero does a nose dive into fourth.Seven days prior, the men of Bowl Movement shamefully lost two games to the blind team. This week, however? Brian Cunningham responded in a big way. Leading his team with a 483 series, Cunningham not only helped his team earn a clean sweep over competitors Feed the Monkey but also landed this week's Most Valuable Bowler honors. Brian also sits atop this week's Individual Power Ranking listing. The wins temporarily propel the Movement into 3rd place, depending on the outcome of the post-bowling scores matchup. Feed the Monkey, led this week by Chris Able and his 379 series, continue to double their wins in 8th place.Bowlers making their way into The 200 Club this week include: Carl Goetz (205), Ian Goetz (204, 210), Aubrey Moren (218) and Ken M. Wilson (233).For the full results of this week, please check out Season 22, Week 3.See you next Tuesday!

THIS WEEK'S MVB Brian Cunningham Runner Up: (See Posting)	#1 POWER BOWLER Brian Cunningham Runner Up: Ian Goetz	#1 H2H BOWLER Ian Goetz Runner Up: Phil Schroeder
FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE) "Man, I knew Scoot let's down everyone at work...but on the lanes as well? Damn. Jake Parrott, after watching Scott Murdock dash his team's chances at a victory in Game #3.

When we last heard from the abandoned mascot of Feed the Monkey, he had taken a job as a men's room attendant on the advice of a less-than-reputable psychic.The new career began well, but on the second night a bar brawl in the men' room nearly killed Monkey.Unfortunately for Monkey, the fight erupted because the bathroom had not been adequately stocked with toiletpaper, as this photo proved. Monkey was immediately fired.Homeless, alone, and destitute, Monkey wandered the streets throughout the night and following day. Seeing no other way out, Monkey decided to end it all.Unfortunately for Monkey but fortunately for us, that pesky fire department thwarted Monkey's plan...Monkeys don't give up easily.     The next day, Monkey came up with a foolproof plan...Will Monkey survive, or is this the end?????????----PART TWO----The strong winds this weekend blew Monkey of the track before a train ever arrived. Monkey took this as a sign -- he was meant to live, and decided to end his death wish once and for all.Unfortunately this realization came just before he was captured by a crazy, hungry guy who loves to eat exotic animals. He was stuffed into a sack and driven for what must have seemed like minutes. Finally he was removed from the bag and placed on a counter.Exhausted, Monkey barely squirmed at all while being seasoned with salt, pepper, garlic, and thyme. Within moments he found himself in a tight spot...However apart from a banana nothing motivates a monkey like a hot butt, and within seconds he leaped from the pan and found a place to cool its rump roast...Drenched, Monkey slipped out an open window. Monkey had finally realized that being alone at home is better than having no home at all. He took a guess which way home might be and began hitchhiking. He was last seen on US-71 about 45 miles south of Kansas City. Will he find his way?

Power Rankings have officially made their way onto GutterAlley. "What in the hell are Power Rankings?" you ask? Well, we're glad you asked.For years now, people have enjoyed earning the title of being the week's Most Valuable Bowler. The MVB selection, based entirely on a mathematical equation that takes into consideration a number of factors, would point out the one bowler that had put on the best win-producing performance. Sometimes, however, this wasn't necessarily the best bowling performance that night. So how do we figure out who THAT person was on any given night? That's where Power Rankings come into play.The easiest way to understand Power Rankings is to equate it to the person that has put on the absolute best above-average performance on any given league night. A bowler rolling +20, +30 and +25 (a total of 75 pins over average in their three games) will have a much better Power Ranking than someone who rolls +45, -20 and +35. Our equation will reward you for any games bowled over your average but will penalize you for any games bowled beneath it. With the individual Power Rankings calculated, it's now simple to find out which teams had the most firepower as well. There will be occasions that you will find that your team may have gotten swept but your overall performance was the 2nd best of the entire night. Ahh, Power Rankings. Each week we will list the top ten individuals and every team according to the Power Rankings. Along with that, a cumulative tally will be kept throughout the season for both individuals and teams alike with the changes from the previous week. If you don't show up in the top ten individuals listing, don't fret. Simply log into your GutterAlley account and you will see where you rank compared to the rest of the league.Since we have full scores dating back to the Spring 2002 league, you can now go back and explore how you and your team did in seasons past.Interesting facts we discovered while putting this new feature together: Read the rest of this entry »

Forgotten and abandoned by his teammates from Feed the Monkey, poor Monkey began wandering the lonely streets of North Kansas City.   However, before being forced to turn to a life of prostitution to survive, he was found and picked up by a member of an opposing team.The joy of being rescued could not erase the pain of abandonment, so Monkey asked to be taken away to the nearest bar so he could drink away his sorrows.After a binge lasting well into the night. Monkey learned that hitting the bottle was not the answer after his drunkenness led to an unfortunate accident with a bar stool.Determined to clean up his act, Monkey sought the advice of a late-night expert."The path home will be wrought with many perils," said the psychic.  "You will visit unusual places and meet strange people. ""So that you know these words are true," she continued, "know this:  Before this night is through, you shall embark upon a new career.   Which is good, because you owe me $50 for this reading."Monkey would not need to wait long for this proof.    He had only wandered a few blocks before spying a "Help Wanted" sign.    He was immediately hired to the only available position for which he was qualified......a Men's Room Attendant.To be continued...