By now every team has bowled each other once, so next week is the Spring 2008 position round. But enough about next week, you came here to read about this week. The ninth week saw two teams climb in the standings, while two teams slipped. One bowler roll a new personal best game. Freda Schroeder picked up this week's high game (165) and series (471) for the women. As for the men, Don Glasscock snagged this week's high game with a 266, and high series was earned by Cory Chorpenning with a 629. Read on for all the rest of the details!
First up, on lanes 19 & 20: Bad Newz Kennels deliberately ate cheese sticks in front of ?. Headlined by Dennis Laube with his above-average 545 series, the Kennels collected 3 wins against ?. In the meantime, John Coleman ruled ? with his below-average 490 despite his team notching only a single win. Bad Newz Kennels remains in 1st place, while ? moves 1 spot to 6th.
On lanes 21 & 22: Sofa King Good chucked gutter balls with It's Britney, Bitch. Regardless of the star power of Don Glasscock with his 628 series, Sofa King accomplished only 1 win against Britney. On the other side, Sabrina Gray showed off in Britney with her 358 as her team took the series with 3 wins. Sofa King Good drops 1 spot in the standings to 5th place, while Britney remains in 9th.
On lanes 23 & 24: Dr. Strangelanes, Or How I Learned To Stop Opening And Earn The Belt had some one-on-one time with Dios Mios. Though featuring Nik Domann with his above-average 502 series, Dr. Strangelanes got swept by Dios Mios. On the flipside, Bill Krejci dominated Dios Mios with his 546 (benefitted greatly by real star — trifecta-winner #1 Power-Ranked, #1 Head-to-Head, and Most Valuable Bowler Kris Hiestand) as they swept the competition. Dr. Strangelanes, Or How I Learned To Stop Opening And Earn The Belt plummets 2 spots in the standings to 7th place, while Dios Mios jump 2 spots to 4th.
On lanes 25 & 26: Ebowla couldn't stop undressing with their eyes the members of Split Happens. Although topped by Brian Henderson, Travis Kleiner with their 402 series, Ebowla accomplished only 1 win against Split Happens. . With Split Happens forfeiting, all Ebowla needed to do was roll within 40 pins of their combined team average each game. However, that would not be the case. Ebowla remains in 8th place, while Split Happens remain in 10th.
Finally, down on lanes 27 & 28: You Don't Know Sh!t alternated between bowling and dry humping 3 Dudes and a Doll. Highlighting the skills of Cory Chorpenning with his 629 series, Don't Know Sh!t collected 3 wins against 3 Dudes and a Doll. On the other half of the score sheet, Chris Rigdon laid down the law in 3 Dudes and a Doll with his terrific 587 despite his team notching only a single win. You Don't Know Sh!t remains in 3rd place, while 3 Dudes and a Doll remains in 2nd.
Bowlers paying far too much for well vodka at The 200 Club include: Bill Krejci (207), Chris Rigdon (253), Cory Chorpenning (215,238), Dennis Laube (211), Don Glasscock (214,266), Duncan Ferber (201,226), Kris Hiestand (227), and Ryan Doll (214)

The 266 rolled by Don Glasscock is tied for the 8th-best game in league history!
In this week's Tournament of Champions brackets: Kendall Kukowski whipped Division 1, while Dennis Laube decimated Division 2. Nobody claimed victory in Division 3 (though Chris Lewis came closest), and Sabrina Gray claimed victory in Division 4. Finally, Kris Hiestand (Division 3) made quick work of this week's Interdivisional bracket. In terms of overall points: Kendall Kukowski dominates Division 1; Dennis Laube governs Division 2; Kris Hiestand tops Division 3; and Aubrey Moren leads Division 4.
NEXT WEEK:
- First, on lanes 19&20, 1st-place Bad Newz Kennels will face 2nd-place 3 Dudes and a Doll. The Kennels are expected to have the bottom drop out of their averages, but split the series with 3 Dudes and a Doll; while 3 Dudes and a Doll is forecast to see their team average take a dive while they keep the series tied.
- Moving to lanes 21&22, 3rd-place You Don't Know Sh!t will chill with 4th-place Dios Mios (hcp 132). Don't Know Sh!t might roll a little low and lose the series but avoid getting swept; while Dios Mios ought to hold steady as they enjoy their victories.
- Then, over on lanes 23&24, 5th-place Sofa King Good will compete against 6th-place ?. Sofa King will likely have their averages plummet, but split the series with ?; while ? will probably see their team average take a dive while they keep the series tied.
- Next up, on lanes 25&26, 7th-place Dr. Strangelanes, Or How I Learned To Stop Opening And Earn The Belt will test their mettle against 8th-place Ebowla. Dr. Strangelanes might drop their averages like a brick, but split the series with Ebowla; while Ebowla ought to see their team average take a dive while they keep the series tied.
- Finally, on lanes 27&28, 9th-place It's Britney, Bitch will hang out with 10th-place Split Happens. Britney is predicted to watch their averages take a plunge, but split the series with Split Happens; while Split Happens are anticipated to see their team average take a dive while they keep the series tied.
THIS WEEK'S MVB
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FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE)
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Pos. | Team name | Record | Percent | Total Pins | Change |
1 | Bad Newz Kennels | 25-11 | .694 | 17,401 | n/a |
2 | 3 Dudes and a Doll | 22-14 | .611 | 16,599 | n/a |
3 | You Don't Know Sh!t | 21-15 | .583 | 19,948 | n/a |
4 | Dios Mios | 20-16 | .556 | 15,463 | +2 |
5 | Sofa King Good | 17-19 | .472 | 18,657 | -1 |
6 | ? | 17-19 | .472 | 14,626 | +1 |
7 | Dr. Strangelanes, Or How I Learned To Stop Opening... | 16-20 | .444 | 16,668 | -2 |
8 | Ebowla | 15-21 | .417 | 14,298 | n/a |
9 | It's Britney, Bitch | 14-22 | .389 | 12,734 | n/a |
10 | Split Happens | 10-26 | .278 | 12,593 | n/a |