The sixth week of Spring 2008 saw two teams climb in the standings, while three teams slipped. Three bowlers set a new personal best series, and two rolled new personal high games. Jennifer Seefeldt picked up this week's high game (189) and series (510) for the women, while Don Glasscock earned this week's high game (278) and series (770) for the men. Read on for all the rest of the details!

First up, on lanes 19 & 20: It's Britney, Bitch couldn't stop inappropriately groping Bad Newz Kennels. Topped by Dave Winger with his above-average 450 series, with kudos to Most Valuable Bowler Sarah Buchanan, Britney celebrated a clean sweep over the Kennels. On the flipside, Dennis Laube drew the spotlight in the Kennels with his 512 despite his team getting swept. It's Britney, Bitch remains in 8th place, while the Kennels sink 1 spot to 3rd.

On lanes 21 & 22: Dios Mios faced off against ?. Led by Bill Krejci with his 581 series, Dios Mios celebrated a clean sweep over ?. Meanwhile, John Coleman showed off in ? with his below-average 454 despite his team getting swept. Dios Mios remains in 7th place, while ? sinks 1 spot to 6th.

On lanes 23 & 24: Split Happens spent a romantic evening with Sofa King Good. Despite the strength of Ben Carmean with his powerful 479 series, Split Happens got swept by Sofa King. In the midst of this, #1 Power Ranked and #1 Head-to-Head Don Glasscock reigned supreme in Sofa King with his miraculous 770 as they swept the competition. Split Happens remains in 10th place, while Sofa King jumps 2 spots to 2nd.

On lanes 25 & 26: 3 Dudes and a Doll sparred with Dr. Strangelanes, Or How I Learned To Stop Opening And Earn The Belt. With top billing by Chris Rigdon with his 518 series, 3 Dudes and a Doll collected 3 wins against Dr. Strangelanes. On the other side, Seth Gunderson ruled Dr. Strangelanes with his below-average 519 despite his team notching only a single win. 3 Dudes and a Doll remains in 1st place, while Dr. Strangelanes move 1 spot to 5th.

Finally, down on lanes 27 & 28: Ebowla waged a heated competition against You Don't Know Sh!t. Highlighting the skills of Travis Kleiner with his 476 series, Ebowla celebrated a clean sweep over Don't Know Sh!t. As for the opposition, Cory Chorpenning dominated Don't Know Sh!t with his below-average 569 despite his team getting swept. Ebowla remains in 9th place, while Don't Know Sh!t sinks 1 spot to 4th.

Bowlers who lied to their significant other claiming bowling was running long then went out for after-bowling drinks at The 200 Club include: Bill Krejci (220,201), Cory Chorpenning (205), Don Glasscock (256,278,236), John Richardson (206), and Seth Gunderson (204)

New personal high games were set tonight by Sarah Buchanan (172, previous best 167) and Don Glasscock (278, previous best 277). In addition, new personal best series were rolled by Shaun Crockett (461, previous best 456), Sarah Buchanan (411, previous best 387), and Don Glasscock (770, previous best 711).

Don Glasscock nabbed both high game and series for the men this season with his 278 and 770, respectively.

The 278 rolled by Don Glasscock is the new 3rd-best game in league history!
Don Glasscock SET THE NEW ALL-TIME HIGH SERIES WITH His 770! CONGRATULATIONS!

In this week's Tournament of Champions brackets: Don Glasscock decimated Division 1, while nobody claimed victory in Division 2 (though Travis Kleiner came closest). Nobody claimed victory in Division 3 (though Chris Lewis came closest), and Ben Carmean ruled Division 4. Finally, Dennis Laube (Division 2) vanquished this week's Interdivisional bracket.Finally, John Richardson (Division 3) vanquished this week's Interdivisional bracket. In terms of overall points: Don Glasscock runs the show in Division 1; David Parre and Dennis Laube call the shots in Division 2 in a tie; John Richardson dominates Division 3; and Aubrey Moren leads Division 4.

NEXT WEEK:

• First, on lanes 19&20, 1st-place 3 Dudes and a Doll will hang out with 7th-place Dios Mios (hcp 56). 3 Dudes and a Doll is expected to maintain their current strength as they win the series; while Dios Mios are forecast to drop their average a bit while they avoid getting swept.
• Moving to lanes 21&22, 10th-place Split Happens (hcp 94) will test their mettle against 5th-place Dr. Strangelanes, Or How I Learned To Stop Opening And Earn The Belt. Split Happens might perform well, yet still manage to lose the series but avoid getting swept; while Dr. Strangelanes ought to hold steady as they enjoy their victories.
• Then, over on lanes 23&24, 9th-place Ebowla will spend some quality time with 8th-place It's Britney, Bitch (hcp 69). Ebowla will likely roll decently and sweep the series; while Britney will probably raise their average even as they endure a rough night.
• Next up, on lanes 25&26, 6th-place ? (hcp 163) will tussle with 4th-place You Don't Know Sh!t. ? might perform well and win the series; while Don't Know Sh!t ought to drop their average a bit while they avoid getting swept.
• Finally, on lanes 27&28, 2nd-place Sofa King Good will battle 3rd-place Bad Newz Kennels (hcp 55). Sofa King is predicted to maintain their current strength as they win the series; while the Kennels are anticipated to hold steady as they avoid getting swept.

^*(Remember, the predicted results above are based on mathematical extrapolations and can be changed by all sorts of factors. If you don't like how your team's results are predicted, you and your teammates have the power to prove the math wrong!)

THIS WEEK'S MVB Sarah Buchanan Runner Up: (See Posting)	#1 POWER BOWLER Don Glasscock Runner Up: Ben Carmean	#1 H2H BOWLER Don Glasscock Runner Up: Ben Carmean
FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE) "John's ass is mine!" Kris Hiestand, making after-bowling plans.

Pos.	Team name	Record	Percent	Total Pins	Change
1	3 Dudes and a Doll	19-5	.792	11,257	n/a
2	Sofa King Good	16-8	.667	12,791	+2
3	Bad Newz Kennels	15-9	.625	11,553	-1
4	You Don't Know Sh!t	13-11	.542	13,408	-1
5	Dr. Strangelanes, Or How I Learned To Stop Opening...	12-12	.500	11,209	+1
6	?	12-12	.500	9,700	-1
7	Dios Mios	10-14	.417	10,244	n/a
8	It's Britney, Bitch	10-14	.417	8,646	n/a
9	Ebowla	9-15	.375	9,652	n/a
10	Split Happens	4-20	.167	9,340	n/a

Men's High Series Scratch	Women's High Series Scratch
Don Glasscock - 770 Bill Krejci - 581 Cory Chorpenning - 569 Duncan Ferber - 564 Seth Gunderson - 519	Jennifer Seefeldt - 510 Freda Schroeder - 437 Sarah Buchanan - 411 Sabrina Gray - 326 Cindy Palmer - 314
Men's High Series Handicap	Women's High Series Handicap
Don Glasscock - 770 Ben Carmean - 661 Jeff Unseld - 644 John Richardson - 636 Jeff Geheb - 627	Sarah Buchanan - 631 Jennifer Seefeldt - 620 Cindy Palmer - 542 Sabrina Gray - 525 Freda Schroeder - 513
Men's High Game Scratch	Women's High Game Scratch
Don Glasscock - 278 Bill Krejci - 220 John Richardson - 206 Cory Chorpenning - 205 Seth Gunderson - 204	Jennifer Seefeldt - 189 Sarah Buchanan - 172 Freda Schroeder - 159 Cindy Palmer - 132 Sabrina Gray - 119
Men's High Game Handicap	Women's High Game Handicap
Don Glasscock - 278 Jeff Unseld - 254 John Richardson - 246 Jeff Geheb - 238 Bill Krejci - 231	Sarah Buchanan - 245 Jennifer Seefeldt - 225 Cindy Palmer - 208 Sabrina Gray - 185 Freda Schroeder - 184
Men's Pins Over Average	Women's Pins Over Average
Jeff Unseld - 71 Don Glasscock - 59 John Richardson - 57 Jeff Geheb - 56 Ben Carmean - 39	Sarah Buchanan - 64 Jennifer Seefeldt - 35 Cindy Palmer - 27 Sabrina Gray - 2

The fifth week of Spring 2008 saw three teams climb in the standings, while three teams slipped. Angela Bradford landed this week's high game for the women with a 199, and women's high series was bagged by Freda Schroeder with a 534. As for the men, Cory Chorpenning snagged this week's high game with a 237, and high series was earned by Don Glasscock with a 659. Read on for all the rest of the details!

First up, on lanes 19 & 20: ? tussled with Split Happens. With the strength of John Coleman with his 524 series, ? celebrated a clean sweep over Split Happens. As for the opposition, Ryan Simonet called the shots for Split Happens with his above-average 466 despite his team getting swept. ? remains in 5th place, while Split Happens sink 1 spot to 10th.

On lanes 21 & 22: 3 Dudes and a Doll kept grabbing the balls of Sofa King Good. Starring Ryan Doll with his above-average 582 series, 3 Dudes and a Doll collected 3 wins against Sofa King. Simultaneously, Don Glasscock ruled Sofa King with his 659 despite his team notching only a single win. 3 Dudes and a Doll remains in 1st place, while Sofa King remains in 4th.

On lanes 23 & 24: Bad Newz Kennels alternated between bowling and dry humping You Don't Know Sh!t. With top billing by Dennis Laube with his above-average 548 series, and supported tremendously by real star — trifecta-winner #1 Power-Ranked, #1 Head-to-Head, and Most Valuable Bowler Aubrey Moren, the Kennels collected 3 wins against Don't Know Sh!t. On the adjacent lane, Cory Chorpenning shined in Don't Know Sh!t with his 643 despite his team notching only a single win. Bad Newz Kennels leap 1 spot in the standings to 2nd place, while Don't Know Sh!t sinks 1 spot to 3rd.

On lanes 25 & 26: Dios Mios matched wits with Ebowla. While headlined by Bill Krejci with his (either injured, sick, or sandbagging) 486 series, Dios Mios accomplished only 1 win against Ebowla. Countering this, Travis Kleiner commanded Ebowla with his below-average 451 as his team took the series with 3 wins. Dios Mios leap 1 spot in the standings to 7th place, while Ebowla moves 1 spot to 9th.

Finally, down on lanes 27 & 28: It's Britney, Bitch spent a romantic evening with Dr. Strangelanes, Or How I Learned To Stop Opening And Earn The Belt. Despite being led by Dave Winger with his 416 series, Britney got swept by Dr. Strangelanes. In the meantime, Seth Gunderson took the lead in Dr. Strangelanes with his 566 as they swept the competition. It's Britney, Bitch drops 1 spot in the standings to 8th place, while Dr. Strangelanes remain in 6th.

Bowlers who lied to their significant other claiming bowling was running long then went out for after-bowling drinks at The 200 Club include: Cory Chorpenning (237,216), David Parre (204), Dennis Laube (208,202), Don Glasscock (213,232,214), John Coleman (204), Kendall Kukowski (209), and Ryan Doll (220,206)

In this week's Tournament of Champions brackets: Kendall Kukowski staked a claim for the Iron Throne in Division 1, while Scott Murdock decimated Division 2. John Richardson spanked Division 3, and nobody claimed victory in Division 4 (though Rob Kaszuba came closest). Finally, Aubrey Moren (Division 4) topped this week's Interdivisional bracket. In terms of overall points: Kendall Kukowski calls the shots for Division 1; David Parre and Scott Murdock dominate Division 2 in a tie; John Richardson reigns over Division 3; and Aubrey Moren is in the driver's seat in Division 4.

NEXT WEEK:

• First, on lanes 19&20, 8th-place It's Britney, Bitch (hcp 142) will tussle with 2nd-place Bad Newz Kennels. Britney is expected to maintain their current strength as they get swept; while the Kennels are forecast to hold steady as they rack up a sweep.
• Moving to lanes 21&22, 7th-place Dios Mios will roll against 5th-place ? (hcp 19). Dios Mios might roll a little low and get swept; while ? ought to raise their average while they rack up a sweep.
• Then, over on lanes 23&24, 10th-place Split Happens (hcp 154) will hang out with 4th-place Sofa King Good. Split Happens will likely maintain their current strength as they get swept; while Sofa King will probably hold steady as they rack up a sweep.
• Next up, on lanes 25&26, 1st-place 3 Dudes and a Doll will throw some gutter balls with 6th-place Dr. Strangelanes, Or How I Learned To Stop Opening And Earn The Belt. 3 Dudes and a Doll might maintain their current strength as they win the series; while Dr. Strangelanes ought to drop their average a bit while they avoid getting swept.
• Finally, on lanes 27&28, 9th-place Ebowla (hcp 172) will match wits with 3rd-place You Don't Know Sh!t. Ebowla is predicted to maintain their current strength as they lose the series but avoid getting swept; while Don't Know Sh!t is anticipated to drop their average a bit even as they enjoy their victories.

^*(Remember, the predicted results above are based on mathematical extrapolations and can be changed by all sorts of factors. If you don't like how your team's results are predicted, you and your teammates have the power to prove the math wrong!)

THIS WEEK'S MVB Aubrey Moren Runner Up: (See Posting)	#1 POWER BOWLER Aubrey Moren Runner Up: Kendall Kukowski	#1 H2H BOWLER Aubrey Moren Runner Up: Kendall Kukowski
FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE) "I was sure from the first frame that I'd lick Sarah tonight." Dennis Laube, who we hope was refering to the Tournament of Champions.

Pos.	Team name	Record	Percent	Total Pins	Change
1	3 Dudes and a Doll	16-4	.800	9,354	n/a
2	Bad Newz Kennels	15-5	.750	9,664	+1
3	You Don't Know Sh!t	13-7	.650	11,299	-1
4	Sofa King Good	12-8	.600	10,527	n/a
5	?	12-8	.600	8,125	n/a
6	Dr. Strangelanes, Or How I Learned To Stop Opening...	11-9	.550	9,317	n/a
7	Dios Mios	6-14	.300	8,493	+1
8	It's Britney, Bitch	6-14	.300	7,011	-1
9	Ebowla	5-15	.250	7,966	+1
10	Split Happens	4-16	.200	7,652	-1

Men's High Series Scratch	Women's High Series Scratch
Don Glasscock - 659 Cory Chorpenning - 643 Kendall Kukowski - 588 Ryan Doll - 582 David Parre - 570	Freda Schroeder - 534 Angela Bradford - 508 Jennifer Seefeldt - 484 Sarah Buchanan - 340 Sabrina Gray - 338
Men's High Series Handicap	Women's High Series Handicap
Aubrey Moren - 693 Kendall Kukowski - 674 Don Glasscock - 659 Scott Murdock - 650 Cory Chorpenning - 643	Freda Schroeder - 615 Jennifer Seefeldt - 599 Angela Bradford - 568 Sarah Buchanan - 563 Cindy Palmer - 530 Sabrina Gray - 530 (t)
Men's High Game Scratch	Women's High Game Scratch
Cory Chorpenning - 237 Don Glasscock - 232 Ryan Doll - 220 Kendall Kukowski - 209 Dennis Laube - 208	Angela Bradford - 199 Freda Schroeder - 197 Jennifer Seefeldt - 190 Sabrina Gray - 135 Sarah Buchanan - 134
Men's High Game Handicap	Women's High Game Handicap
Aubrey Moren - 246 Scott Murdock - 239 Kendall Kukowski - 237 Cory Chorpenning - 237 (t) Dennis Laube - 236 Ryan Doll - 232 Don Glasscock - 232 (t)	Jennifer Seefeldt - 228 Freda Schroeder - 224 Angela Bradford - 219 Sarah Buchanan - 208 Sabrina Gray - 199
Men's Pins Over Average	Women's Pins Over Average
Aubrey Moren - 60 Scott Murdock - 50 Kendall Kukowski - 45 Dennis Laube - 43 Ryan Doll - 36	Jennifer Seefeldt - 38 Freda Schroeder - 31 Sarah Buchanan - 27 Angela Bradford - 24 Sabrina Gray - 15

The fourth week of Spring 2008 saw five teams climb in the standings, while four teams slipped. One bowler set a new personal best series. Angela Bradford picked up this week's high game (192) and series (543) for the women, while Don Glasscock earned this week's high game (269) and series (710) for the men. Meanwhile, the Tournament of Champions also kicked off tonight, beginning of 13 weeks of one-on-one bowling excitement! Read on for all the rest of the details!

First up, on lanes 19 & 20: Dr. Strangelanes, Or How I Learned To Stop Opening And Earn The Belt shared a platter of cheese sticks with Ebowla. Blessed by Nik Domann with his 510 series, Dr. Strangelanes collected 3 wins against Ebowla. In the meantime, Travis Kleiner mastered Ebowla with his below-average 468 despite his team notching only a single win. Dr. Strangelanes, Or How I Learned To Stop Opening And Earn The Belt leaps 1 spot in the standings to 6th place, while Ebowla remains in 10th.

On lanes 21 & 22: It's Britney, Bitch had a rendezvous with You Don't Know Sh!t. Despite being led by Gard Gibson with his 439 series, Britney got swept by Don't Know Sh!t. While that was going down, Cory Chorpenning laid down the law in Don't Know Sh!t with his above-average 665 as they swept the competition. It's Britney, Bitch drops 1 spot in the standings to 7th place, while Don't Know Sh!t moves 1 spot to 2nd.

On lanes 23 & 24: Dios Mios spent a romantic evening with Split Happens. Featuring Bill Krejci with his 587 series, Dios Mios celebrated a clean sweep over Split Happens. On the other side, Ryan Simonet showed off in Split Happens with his 430 despite his team getting swept. Dios Mios leap 1 spot in the standings to 8th place, while Split Happens sink 1 spot to 9th.

On lanes 25 & 26: Bad Newz Kennels chucked gutter balls with 3 Dudes and a Doll. Although topped by Dennis Laube with his 503 series, the Kennels accomplished only 1 win against 3 Dudes and a Doll. In the midst of this, Chris Rigdon shined in 3 Dudes and a Doll with his exceptional 572 as his team took the series with 3 wins. Bad Newz Kennels plummet 2 spots in the standings to 3rd place, while 3 Dudes and a Doll moves 1 spot to 1st.

Finally, down on lanes 27 & 28: ? waged a heated competition against Sofa King Good. Notwithstanding the leadership of John Coleman with his above-average 555 series, ? got swept by Sofa King. Concurrently, Don Glasscock guided Sofa King with his above-average 710 (benefitted greatly by real star — trifecta-winner #1 Power-Ranked, #1 Head-to-Head, and Most Valuable Bowler John Koehler) as they swept the competition. ? drops 1 spot in the standings to 5th place, while Sofa King moves 1 spot to 4th.

Bowlers who stripped naked and shared a cozy hottub together in a back room at The 200 Club include: Bill Krejci (246), Chris Rigdon (205), Cory Chorpenning (246,224), David Parre (201,204), Don Glasscock (269,235,206), John Coleman (206), and John Koehler (203)

A new personal best series was rolled tonight by David Parre (590, previous best 570).

Adding to the excitement, the 710 rolled by Don Glasscock is this season's new high series for men.

The 269 rolled by Don Glasscock is tied for the 4th-best game in league history!
The 710 rolled by Don Glasscock is the new 2nd-best series in league history!

In this week's Tournament of Champions brackets: Nobody claimed victory in Division 1 (though Don Glasscock came closest), while nobody claimed victory in Division 2 (though John Coleman came closest). John Koehler walloped Division 3, and Aubrey Moren vanquished Division 4. Finally, David Parre (Division 2) clobbered this week's Interdivisional bracket. In terms of overall points: Don Glasscock is in the driver's seat in Division 1; David Parre holds the reins in Division 2; John Koehler calls the shots for Division 3; and Aubrey Moren reigns over Division 4.

NEXT WEEK:

• First, on lanes 19&20, 5th-place ? will battle 9th-place Split Happens (hcp 16). ? is expected to perform well and sweep the series; while Split Happens are forecast to hold steady as they endure a rough night.
• Moving to lanes 21&22, 1st-place 3 Dudes and a Doll (hcp 66) will spend some quality time with 4th-place Sofa King Good. 3 Dudes and a Doll might maintain their current strength as they lose the series but avoid getting swept; while Sofa King ought to hold steady as they enjoy their victories.
• Then, over on lanes 23&24, 3rd-place Bad Newz Kennels (hcp 93) will tussle with 2nd-place You Don't Know Sh!t. The Kennels will likely roll decently and just barely win the series; while Don't Know Sh!t will probably drop their average a bit while they avoid getting swept.
• Next up, on lanes 25&26, 8th-place Dios Mios will throw some gutter balls with 10th-place Ebowla (hcp 33). Dios Mios might roll a little low and just barely miss getting swept; while Ebowla ought to hold steady as they enjoy their victories.
• Finally, on lanes 27&28, 7th-place It's Britney, Bitch (hcp 145) will chill with 6th-place Dr. Strangelanes, Or How I Learned To Stop Opening And Earn The Belt. Britney is predicted to perform well, but split the series with Dr. Strangelanes; while Dr. Strangelanes are anticipated to hold steady as they keep the series tied.

^*(Remember, the predicted results above are based on mathematical extrapolations and can be changed by all sorts of factors. If you don't like how your team's results are predicted, you and your teammates have the power to prove the math wrong!)

THIS WEEK'S MVB John Koehler Runner Up: (See Posting)	#1 POWER BOWLER John Koehler Runner Up: Chris Rigdon	#1 H2H BOWLER John Koehler Runner Up: David Parre
FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE) "Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o'clock this afternoon... with nail polish." Jeff Geheb, collecting orders for the snack bar.

Pos.	Team name	Record	Percent	Total Pins	Change
1	3 Dudes and a Doll	13-3	.813	7,359	+1
2	You Don't Know Sh!t	12-4	.750	8,949	+1
3	Bad Newz Kennels	12-4	.750	7,548	-2
4	Sofa King Good	11-5	.688	8,387	+1
5	?	8-8	.500	6,393	-1
6	Dr. Strangelanes, Or How I Learned To Stop Opening...	7-9	.438	7,335	+1
7	It's Britney, Bitch	6-10	.375	5,556	-1
8	Dios Mios	5-11	.313	6,871	+1
9	Split Happens	4-12	.250	6,151	-1
10	Ebowla	2-14	.125	6,336	n/a

Men's High Series Scratch	Women's High Series Scratch
Don Glasscock - 710 Cory Chorpenning - 665 David Parre - 590 Bill Krejci - 587 Chris Rigdon - 572	Angela Bradford - 543 Freda Schroeder - 477 Jennifer Seefeldt - 438 Jessica Iseman - 368 Sarah Buchanan - 328
Men's High Series Handicap	Women's High Series Handicap
John Koehler - 712 Don Glasscock - 710 Chris Rigdon - 687 David Parre - 669 Cory Chorpenning - 665	Angela Bradford - 607 Jessica Iseman - 555 Freda Schroeder - 551 Sarah Buchanan - 551 (t) Jennifer Seefeldt - 548
Men's High Game Scratch	Women's High Game Scratch
Don Glasscock - 269 Cory Chorpenning - 246 Bill Krejci - 246 (t) John Coleman - 206 Chris Rigdon - 205 David Parre - 204	Angela Bradford - 192 Freda Schroeder - 180 Jennifer Seefeldt - 156 Jessica Iseman - 143 Cindy Palmer - 138
Men's High Game Handicap	Women's High Game Handicap
Don Glasscock - 269 Bill Krejci - 253 John Koehler - 251 Cory Chorpenning - 246 Chris Rigdon - 243	Angela Bradford - 213 Cindy Palmer - 213 (t) Jessica Iseman - 205 Freda Schroeder - 204 Jennifer Seefeldt - 192
Men's Pins Over Average	Women's Pins Over Average
John Koehler - 64 Don Glasscock - 56 Bill Krejci - 55 Martin Coady - 55 (t) Chris Rigdon - 53 Cory Chorpenning - 45	Cindy Palmer - 32 Jessica Iseman - 21 Angela Bradford - 19 Freda Schroeder - 11 Sarah Buchanan - 10

The third week of Spring 2008 saw three teams climb in the standings, while three teams slipped. One bowler set a new personal best series. Angela Bradford picked up this week's high game (213) and series (572) for the women, while Cory Chorpenning earned this week's high game (244) and series (662) for the men. And the Tournament of Champions divisions are now set, ready for one-on-one action to begin next week! Read on for all the rest of the details!

First up, on lanes 19 & 20: Dios Mios had a delightful time with It's Britney, Bitch. Even though highlighted by the skills of Bill Krejci with his below-average 546 series, Dios Mios got swept by Britney. Across the ball return, Most Valuable Bowler Sarah Buchanan mastered Britney with her commanding 387 as they swept the competition. Dios Mios remains in 9th place, while Britney jumps 2 spots to 6th.

On lanes 21 & 22: Dr. Strangelanes, Or How I Learned To Stop Opening And Earn The Belt couldn't stop undressing with their eyes the members of Bad Newz Kennels. In spite of top-billing by Scott Murdock with his 469 series, Dr. Strangelanes got swept by the Kennels. On the flipside, #1 Power-Ranked Phil Schroeder called the shots for the Kennels with his fantastic 556 as they swept the competition. Dr. Strangelanes, Or How I Learned To Stop Opening And Earn The Belt plummets 2 spots in the standings to 7th place, while the Kennels remain in 1st.

On lanes 23 & 24: ? couldn't stop inappropriately groping Ebowla. Featuring John Coleman with his above-average 541 series, ? celebrated a clean sweep over Ebowla. While that was going down, Chris Lewis took the lead in Ebowla with his 424 despite his team getting swept. ? leaps 2 spots in the standings to 4th place, while Ebowla remains in 10th.

On lanes 25 & 26: You Don't Know Sh!t alternated between bowling and dry humping Sofa King Good. Topped by #1 Head-to-Head Cory Chorpenning and his above-average 662 series, Don't Know Sh!t collected 3 wins against Sofa King. Simultaneously, Don Glasscock shined in Sofa King with his 651 despite his team notching only a single win. You Don't Know Sh!t leaps 1 spot in the standings to 3rd place, while Sofa King plunges 2 spots to 5th.

Finally, down on lanes 27 & 28: 3 Dudes and a Doll sparred with Split Happens. Headlined by Ryan Doll with his below-average 539 series, 3 Dudes and a Doll collected 3 wins against Split Happens. Conversely, Ryan Simonet commanded Split Happens with his below-average 405 despite his team notching only a single win. 3 Dudes and a Doll remains in 2nd place, while Split Happens sink 1 spot to 8th.

Bowlers slipping into The 200 Club include: Angela Bradford (208,213), Bill Krejci (200), Cory Chorpenning (244,213,205), David Parre (229), Don Glasscock (212,226,213), Duncan Ferber (209,226), John Coleman (201), Phil Schroeder (203), and Ryan Doll (200)

A new personal best series was rolled tonight by Sarah Buchanan (387, previous best 352).

Adding to the excitement, the 572 rolled by Angela Bradford is this season's new high series among women.

The 572 rolled by Angela Bradford is the new 7th-best women's series in league history!

The Tournament of Champions begins next week. Here are the final division assignments for this season:

DIVISION 1 1. Don Glasscock 2. Cory Chorpenning 3. Duncan Ferber 4. Bill Krejci 5. Ryan Doll 6. Seth Gunderson 7. Angela Bradford 8. Kendall Kukowski 9. Freda Schroeder 10. David Parre

DIVISION 2 1. Nik Domann 2. John Coleman 3. Travis Kleiner 4. Dennis Laube 5. Phil Schroeder 6. Scott Murdock 7. Jennifer Seefeldt 8. Chris Rigdon 9. Kris Hiestand 10. Chris Lewis

DIVISION 3 1. Ryan Simonet 2. John Richardson 3. Ryan Schooley 4. John Koehler 5. Rob Kaszuba 6. Jason Garcia 7. Ben Carmean 8. Aubrey Moren 9. Shaun Crockett 10. Sabrina Gray

DIVISION 4 1. John Keck 2. Jeff Unseld 3. Brian Henderson 4. Tom Finley 5. Jeff Geheb 6. Joel Teply 7. Martin Coady 8. Amy Goodnow 9. Sarah Buchanan 10. Cindy Palmer

NEXT WEEK:

• First, on lanes 19&20, 7th-place Dr. Strangelanes, Or How I Learned To Stop Opening And Earn The Belt will socialize with 10th-place Ebowla (hcp 76). Dr. Strangelanes are expected to roll a little low, but split the series with Ebowla; while Ebowla is forecast to hold steady as they keep the series tied.
• Moving to lanes 21&22, 6th-place It's Britney, Bitch (hcp 228) will compete against 3rd-place You Don't Know Sh!t. Britney might perform well, yet still manage to lose the series but avoid getting swept; while Don't Know Sh!t ought to drop their average a bit even as they enjoy their victories.
• Then, over on lanes 23&24, 9th-place Dios Mios will battle 8th-place Split Happens (hcp 43). Dios Mios will likely have a bit of an off night and lose the series but avoid getting swept; while Split Happens will probably hold steady as they enjoy their victories.
• Next up, on lanes 25&26, 1st-place Bad Newz Kennels will tussle with 2nd-place 3 Dudes and a Doll (hcp 4). The Kennels might perform well and win the series; while 3 Dudes and a Doll ought to hold steady as they avoid getting swept.
• Finally, on lanes 27&28, 4th-place ? (hcp 125) will hang out with 5th-place Sofa King Good. ? is predicted to perform well, yet still manage to lose the series but avoid getting swept; while Sofa King is anticipated to raise their average while they enjoy their victories.

^*(Remember, the predicted results above are based on mathematical extrapolations and can be changed by all sorts of factors. If you don't like how your team's results are predicted, you and your teammates have the power to prove the math wrong!)

THIS WEEK'S MVB Sarah Buchanan Runner Up: (See Posting)	#1 POWER BOWLER Phil Schroeder Runner Up: Cory Chorpenning	#1 H2H BOWLER Cory Chorpenning Runner Up: Phil Schroeder
FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE) "You brought the fuckin' Pomeranian bowling?" Kendall Kukowski, failing to recognize the other team's anchor.

Pos.	Team name	Record	Percent	Total Pins	Change
1	Bad Newz Kennels	11-1	.917	5,630	n/a
2	3 Dudes and a Doll	10-2	.833	5,456	n/a
3	You Don't Know Sh!t	8-4	.667	6,657	+1
4	?	8-4	.667	4,710	+2
5	Sofa King Good	7-5	.583	6,130	-2
6	It's Britney, Bitch	6-6	.500	4,178	+2
7	Dr. Strangelanes, Or How I Learned To Stop Opening...	4-8	.333	5,521	-2
8	Split Happens	4-8	.333	4,705	-1
9	Dios Mios	1-11	.083	5,170	n/a
10	Ebowla	1-11	.083	4,772	n/a

Men's High Series Scratch	Women's High Series Scratch
Cory Chorpenning - 662 Don Glasscock - 651 Duncan Ferber - 614 David Parre - 559 Phil Schroeder - 556	Angela Bradford - 572 Freda Schroeder - 479 Jennifer Seefeldt - 449 Sarah Buchanan - 387 Sabrina Gray - 367
Men's High Series Handicap	Women's High Series Handicap
Cory Chorpenning - 681 Phil Schroeder - 671 David Parre - 659 Don Glasscock - 651 John Coleman - 644	Angela Bradford - 658 Sarah Buchanan - 636 Sabrina Gray - 563 Jennifer Seefeldt - 552 Freda Schroeder - 541
Men's High Game Scratch	Women's High Game Scratch
Cory Chorpenning - 244 David Parre - 229 Duncan Ferber - 226 Don Glasscock - 226 (t) Phil Schroeder - 203 John Coleman - 201	Angela Bradford - 213 Freda Schroeder - 187 Jennifer Seefeldt - 165 Sarah Buchanan - 139 Sabrina Gray - 125
Men's High Game Handicap	Women's High Game Handicap
David Parre - 262 Cory Chorpenning - 250 Phil Schroeder - 241 John Coleman - 235 Tom Finley - 235 (t) Dennis Laube - 230	Angela Bradford - 241 Sarah Buchanan - 222 Freda Schroeder - 207 Jennifer Seefeldt - 199 Cindy Palmer - 190 Sabrina Gray - 190 (t)
Men's Pins Over Average	Women's Pins Over Average
David Parre - 71 Tom Finley - 55 Cory Chorpenning - 52 Phil Schroeder - 51 John Coleman - 44	Angela Bradford - 49 Sarah Buchanan - 43 Freda Schroeder - 13 Cindy Palmer - 9 Jennifer Seefeldt - 8