By now every team has bowled each other once, so next week is the Spring 2007 position round. But enough about next week, you came here to read about this week. The ninth week saw three teams climb in the standings, while three teams slipped. Angela Bradford picked up this week's high game (190) and series (499) for the women, while John Boren earned this week's high game (246) and series (675) for the men. Read on for all the rest of the details!

First up, on lanes 15 & 16: Churn and Burn did battle with Frickin' Ten Pin. Demonstrating the prowess of Jason Carpio with his dazzling 602 series, Churn and Burn collected 3 wins against Ten Pin. Across the ball return, Phil Schroeder took the lead in Ten Pin with his 499 despite his team notching only a single win. Churn and Burn leaps 1 spot in the standings to 6th place, while Ten Pin sinks 1 spot to 7th.

On lanes 17 & 18: T.B.D. alternated splits with Unstoppabowl. With T.B.D. forfeiting, all Unstoppabowl needed to do was roll within 40 pins of their combined team average each game. However, that would not be the case. In their battle to get within at least 40 pins of average, Cory Chorpenning commanded Unstoppabowl with his below-average 532 as his team took the series with 3 wins. T.B.D. drops 1 spot in the standings to 10th place, while Unstoppabowl remains in 3rd.

On lanes 19 & 20: King Pins had a rendezvous with Those 4 Bowlers. Topped by Duncan Ferber with his breathtaking 613 series, King Pins split the series with 4 Bowlers. On the flipside, Seth Gunderson showed off in 4 Bowlers with his above-average 562 as they matched their opponent in wins. King Pins leap 1 spot in the standings to 9th place, while 4 Bowlers remain in 5th.

On lanes 21 & 22: Oily Balls spent a romantic evening with Guttersluts. Notwithstanding the leadership of Ken M. Wilson with his 549 series, Oily Balls got swept by Guttersluts. Countering this, trifecta-winner (#1 Head-to-Head, #1 Power-Ranked, and Most Valuable Bowler) John Boren called the shots for Guttersluts with his stupendous 675 as they swept the competition. Oily Balls drop 1 spot in the standings to 2nd place, while Guttersluts move 1 spot to 1st.

Finally, down on lanes 23 & 24: Doll's Balls couldn't stop undressing with their eyes the members of X9XX. In spite of top-billing by Ryan Doll with his 516 series, Doll's Balls accomplished only 1 win against X9XX. In the meantime, Don Glasscock dominated X9XX with his 603 as his team took the series with 3 wins. Doll's Balls remains in 8th place, while X9XX remains in 4th.

Bowlers who lied to their significant other claiming bowling was running long then went out for after-bowling drinks at The 200 Club include: Bill Krejci (204), Cory Chorpenning (210), Don Glasscock (226), Duncan Ferber (244), Jason Carpio (207,242), John Boren (214,215,246), John Coleman (201), Pat Searcy (200), Ryan Doll (209), and Seth Gunderson (216)

In this week's Tournament of Champions brackets: John Boren walloped Division 1, while nobody claimed victory in Division 2 (though Bill Krejci came closest). Nobody claimed victory in Division 3 (though Angela Bradford came closest), and nobody claimed victory in Division 4 (though Shaun Crockett came closest). And, finally, nobody claimed victory in the Interdivisional bracket, and in fact we aren't even going to talk about this bracket as it was a complete embarassment. In terms of overall points: Pat Searcy runs the show in Division 1; Seth Gunderson governs Division 2; Deena Slinkard dominates Division 3; and Kendall Kukowski tops Division 4.

NEXT WEEK:

• First, on lanes 15&16, 1st-place Guttersluts (hcp 47) will test their mettle against 2nd-place Oily Balls. Guttersluts are expected to perform well, yet still manage to lose the series but avoid getting swept; while Oily Balls are forecast to hold steady as they enjoy their victories.
• Moving to lanes 17&18, 3rd-place Unstoppabowl (hcp 21) will match wits with 4th-place X9XX. Unstoppabowl might maintain their current strength as they and split the series with X9XX; while X9XX ought to hold steady as they keep the series tied.
• Then, over on lanes 19&20, 5th-place Those 4 Bowlers (hcp 12) will chuck some balls with 6th-place Churn and Burn. 4 Bowlers will likely roll decently and win the series; while Churn and Burn will probably hold steady as they avoid getting swept.
• Next up, on lanes 21&22, 7th-place Frickin' Ten Pin will share a couple of pitchers with 8th-place Doll's Balls (hcp 49). Ten Pin might maintain their current strength as they lose the series but avoid getting swept; while Doll's Balls ought to raise their average while they enjoy their victories.
• Finally, on lanes 23&24, 9th-place King Pins will roll against 10th-place T.B.D.. King Pins are predicted to maintain their current strength as they win the series; while T.B.D. is anticipated to drop their average a bit while avoid getting swept.

THIS WEEK'S MVB John Boren Runner Up: (See Posting)	#1 POWER BOWLER John Boren Runner Up: Jason Carpio	#1 H2H BOWLER John Boren Runner Up: Seth Gunderson
FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE) "You brought the fuckin' Pomeranian bowling?" Angela Bradford, failing to recognize the other team's anchor.