Because the results of the bowling matchups this week were so expected, and therefore so boring, Scoot has absolutely no inspiration for what to write about this week. Due to this, just so Scoot would stay awake writing this, much of the following is a load of crap.On lanes 41 & 42: Salt Water Taffy faced off against 404: Team Name Not Found. Despite (or perhaps because of) being constantly distracted by Zach Cross's wardrobe malfunctions, Ian Goetz rolled his balls off with a 636 series to... (more...)

While everyone has been worrying about the antics of Salt Water Taffy and Stephen Hawkings Dance Club, another team has been quietly cornholing us all and climbing the ranks. With a three week streak sweep so far, could a new contender for first be in our future?First up, on lanes 41 & 42: The other half of Split It & Hit It showed up to roll against 3/4 of It's A Trap!. Led by Todd Way and his 514 series, Split It & Hit It freed 3 wins from the Trap. Chelsie Finger and her... (more...)

After lurking in the shadows much of the season, honing and refining their hunting skills, both of the league's Seans struck with a vengeance tonight. With a 154 average, Sean Miller rolled a 203 and a 205; with a 138 average, Sean Simmons rolled a 214. Congrats, guys, on kicking the door down to The 200 Club!In our first matchup, on lanes 41 & 42, a suffering Hold My Beer, Watch This hoped that Holy Sandbaggers, Batman! would be weak and tired after post-bowling the night before. No such... (more...)

Despite Zoo Bar being cleaned out of virtually everything after today's festivities, there's just enough Guinness and Founders left for Scoot to celebrate his birthday. As a result, tonight's update may be delayed until morning.  Read More →

With Game 1 of the World Series underway, only about half the league showed up to bowl tonight. Most of us were done before 8:00, and with one team post-bowling this will be an abbreviated writeup for now.First up, on lanes 41 & 42: 404: Team Name Not Found faced off against Stephen Hawking's Dance Club. "Leading" 404 with a 482 series, Scott Murdock was eyeing a good shot at his second 600+ series before everything came crashing down in the 9th frame of game 2. Meanwhile, Russell Bingham... (more...)

Tonight's position round reshuffled the standings deck almost as much as Ian shuffled Scoot's poker cards a few weeks ago. In the process, two veteran bowlers set new personal best records.First up, on lanes 41 & 42: Stephen Hawking's Dance Club knew they couldn't get Salt Water Taffy unstuck from first place, but they hoped to at least time a bite from their lead. But Ian Goetz had already made plans to roll his new personal best series tonight, a 709, to lead his team to a 3-1 victory and... (more...)

It hardly seems possible, but the mid-season position round is already upon us! Tonight's games set the stage for next week, and one of our long-time bowlers reached a long-sought-after milestone. And, for the first time all season, no one was absent!First up, on lanes 41 & 42: Holy Sandbaggers, Batman! battled for position against Split It & Hit It. Split It seemed poised to work their way up the standings under the leadership of Dennis Blake and his 490 series. However Aubrey Moren... (more...)

The last night of bowling before a two-week pause saw some shifts in the standings that could lead to some unexpected matchups for the position round.On lanes 41 & 42: Hold My Beer, Watch This thought that since they were bowling the last place team, they'd continue their rise towards first place. Unfortunately for them no one warned them that It's A Trap! Despite a 632 series from Kody Karnes, the rest of the team stumbled and bumbled about in their Blue Moon drunkenness and forgot they... (more...)

When bowling completed tonight, the men of Stephen Hawking's Dance Club went home convinced they were the first place leaders. Which should make you nervous that those math skills dispense your pharmaceuticals. Bill Krejci shows off his new future Men's High Series Scratch contender. Congratulations, Bill!First up, on lanes 41 & 42: Split It & Hit It was tasked by the entire league with chewing some Taffy. Sadly, Dennis Blake's 590 series, was only enough for 1 win against the Taffy.... (more...)

If you've paid attention to this site in the past several days, you have have noticed a few brand-spanking new* features!NEW WEEKLY WAY TO BRAG!First we had Most Valuable Bowler, which measures who individually helped their team the most.   Then we added Power Rankings, which measure how well each person bowled relative to their own strengths.   Now we launch Head-to-Head, which gives you a weekly count of how many games you would have won if you had rolled every other bowler in the league one-on-one.Generally,... (more...)

Tonight saw a bit of a shakeup in the standings, including a surge from a team that couldn't be bothered to show up on the proper bowling night yet still thinks they get to bank their Scoot-humpings until next week.But before we get to that, on lanes 41 & 42: It's A Trap! faced off against Stephen Hawking's Dance Club. Though the predictions called for a sweep, Andrew Finger's 597 series wasn't enough for the Trap to muster more than 1 win. Meanwhile Michael Gordon turned it on with a 557... (more...)

Scoot has finished reprogramming the Tournament of Champions to factor in our Blind Team, and now the first bracket is set!Each division has one of the league's four "Vacancy" bowler, and each week the Vacancy will be seeded at a different spot in the bracket. It's hoped that this will help spread things out so everyone gets a fairly equal number of times bowling the Vacancy.Take a look at this season's first bracket to see who you, personally, will be trying to smack down on Tuesday night!  Read More →

While it's almost certain to change in the weeks to come, fir the first time this season one team has pulled ahead of the pack to stake a claim to the first place throne.Phil walks the runway, showing off the latest in men's bowling fashion accessories.Starting with lanes 41 & 42: 404: Team Name Not Found faced off against Holy Sandbaggers, Batman!. Co-led by Scott Murdock and Sean Miller and their 484 series...es?, 404: Team Name Not Found secured first place with a clean sweep over Holy... (more...)

The second week of the Fall 2015 season saw some pretty big shakeups, as every team ever moved in the standings or caused a major upset.The league's newest member... draining itself of golden liquid almost as frequently as those drinking from it.First up, on lanes 41 & 42: Stephen Hawking's Dance Club faced off against Ray & Stevie. Led by a freshly-back-from Vegas Michael Gordon and his 540 series, Stephen Hawking's Dance Club secured a clean sweep against the blinds. Stephen Hawking... (more...)

The Fall 2015 season kicked off tonight, resulting in two teams on top, four teams in a dead even tie, and one team winding up a victim of it all. The blind team was, of course, a no-show. Money was collected, humps were given, beer was consumed, and even in the post-Cliff world people still can't resist adding special sketches to the score sheets.On Lanes 41 & 42, the goofily-named Salt Water Taffy faced off against the freshly-named Hold My Beer, Watch This. With a 647 series, including... (more...)

The Fall 2015 season begins in just a few hours, and here is a sneak preview of some milestones that should or could be achieved this season...Ian Goetz should pass David Codding in the count of 200+ games rolled either this week or next week, unless he sandbags like a chump. Freda Schroeder and Dennis Blake both have their 50th 200+ game within reach this season if they work at it.Aaron Barber is now the best currently-active bowler who has not won a championship. Could this be his season?But... (more...)

Summer is behind us and it's already that time again – dust off your balls and say goodbye to the wife and kids as it's time to head back onto the battlefields as the 32nd season of GutterAlley actions begins this Tuesday. This season will feature eight new recruits making their debut this season! A special welcome to rookies Andrew Finger, Brian Walsh, Chelsie Finger, Matt O'Dell, Meghan Cummings, Sean Miller, Seaon Simmons, and Zach Cross!START DATE: Tuesday, August 25th at 6:20PM (league... (more...)

Well, that's it! With another 300 game, a 7-10 split, a combined league average of 168.845, and 285 200+ games, our best-season ever on MANY metrics is now in the history books!Highlights include Brian Coe picking up our league's second 300 game, and newcomer Russell Bingham picking up our first 7-10 split ever.It also came some with some sadness, when a league staple from the very beginning, Ken M. Wilson, quit after the 4th week. He was just one week shy of being the first bowler in league... (more...)

Since Bryan Mohr was absent again preventing a team photo of the champs, the top story this week is that for the first time anyone can remember the matchup involving Freda's team was the first to finish without a forfeit being involved --- and that was even with a forfeit happening elsewhere in the league tonight!The Fall 2015 season – our 31st since beginning back in the Winter of 1999 – came to a big finish Tuesday night. And, for the second time in a row, we set a new record for the best... (more...)

Wow, what a night! By all rights, the lead story should be about Amazeballs securing the championship, making next week a formality. But their accomplishment was overshadowed when Russell Bingham, a rookie, did what no one else has done in 31 seasons of our league's existence -- he picked up a 7-10 split! This is an accomplishment that is statistically far more rare than a 300 game. For a little more perspective, 38,245 individual games had been rolled in our league before Russell became the... (more...)