Bowling took way too long tonight due to some major lane malfunctions, and Scoot has to get up way too early tomorrow, so portions of this week's writeup are computer-generated. Apologies in advance for the lameness of ScooterProgramming™ computer-generated writing.First up, on lanes 41 & 42: Glory Bowl, still missing its Fingers, spent a romantic evening with Split Sisters. And, due to some flawed advice by yours truly, which I feel terrible about, the Split Sisters ended up swept... (more...)

After a three year long hiatus, we are resurrecting the Thursday feature known as "The 11th Frame". This weekly series highlights some of the accomplishments and milestones that are often overlooked in the main weekly writeup.INDIVIDUALS: (more...)  Read More →

The first week of our 33rd season began with lots of laughter and reunions, progressed through lots of beer, and ended with four teams rubbing their sore butts.First up, on lanes 41 & 42, a 404: Team Name Not Found suffering from 50% their normal level of Seans launched the season with a half-rookied Bowies In Space. Led by Scott Murdock and his 479 series, Team Name Not Found managed only 1 win against Bowies In Space. Meanwhile, Aaron Barber and his 607 series led Bowies In Space to 3 wins... (more...)

After last week's over-panicked snow meltdown, we're ready to give starting this season a second shot! With the weather clowns forecasting partly sunny skies and a temperature a little above freezing, we ought to be a go this Tuesday, January 26th.The rest of this post is a repeat of what was posted last week. If you are new to the league or haven't rolled with us in a while, please read through the "INFO FOR THE NEWCOMERS & RETURNEES" section below if you didn't already do so last week. This... (more...)

We got a call from AMF a short while ago, all their other leagues have cancelled tonight due to the weather. Because I had already heard from several others who would not be able to be there tonight, it did not make sense for us to make the bowling alley stay open for about half of our league to show up.Our entire schedule has been shifted by 1 week, and this is now reflected on the web site. We will see you all on the lanes on January 26. Drive safely tonight!  Read More →

Scoot was a busy little programmer this weekend adding more frequently-requested features to the bowling site.Team-By-Team Win-Loss RecordsThere have always been certain teams that make wagers with each other, and then they have to go back and use actual math at the end of the season to see who won. And nobody wants to do that! So now, on each team's profile page, a handy chart shows that team's win-loss record against every opponent they have played throughout the season. (more...)  Read More →

Thaw your balls, it's time to return to the lanes as the 33rd season of GutterAlley begins on Tuesday, January 19!This season will feature six new recruits making their debut this season! A special welcome to rookies Amber Waddle, Dustin Schmeltz, Leslie Patton, Michael Mead, Michelle Shoemaker, and Tim Deddens! In addition, three bowlers from the past are re-joining us. John Boren returns to us from the year 2014, Michelle Tollefson time-travels from 2003, and Angie Betts returns from what is... (more...)

We're down to the last week before the Spring 2016 season begins, and our league is now full! Thank you to those of you who worked so hard to try to find new bowlers, and special thanks to the A.A.A. trio that succeeded: Aaron Barber, AJ Hofmann, and Angela Bradford!We urgently need team names, bowling orders, and team captains from some of you. I'm especially looking at you: Jonathon, John, Seth, & Carl; Angela, Bob, Kody, & Michelle; AJ, Andrew, Chelsie, & Tim; Amber, Angie, Leslie, & Michelle;... (more...)

An expected 8th team for the Spring 2016 season has fallen through, so this is an urgent plea for 3-4 bowlers to join (or re-join) our league. Bowling begins January 19, but the final roster is needed by Friday, January 15!Our league is just-for-fun and meets Tuesday evenings. We don't care about skill level, all you have to do is be able to roll a ball 60 feet along a smooth oily surface. You also don't have to work for VML, though it's a lot cheaper if you do!Starts: January 19th, 2016 at... (more...)

It's that time of year again! Our next season of bowling begins on January 19, and we have open positions for a few more bowlers to join the league. We are an unsanctioned mixed-league that rolls on Tuesday evenings, with the focus being on fun. All skill levels are welcome.Starts: January 19th, 2016 at 6:30pm (practice starting at 6:20)Ends: May 10th, 2016 (total of 17 weeks)Cost: $14 per week, does NOT include the cost of rental shoes. (Full-time VML employees pay only $8/week.)Location:... (more...)

With 32 seasons of bowling now behind us, the Fall 2015 season ended tonight as the 4th best season in league history. Both in terms of combined league average and in terms of the number (206) of 200+ games rolled. Congratulations, everyone, on a great season!BEFORE WE GET ON WITH THE WRITEUP, BE SURE TO VOTE FOR YOUR END OF SEASON FAVORITES! AND JOIN US ON DEC 22 FOR PRIZE MONEY AND FUN WEEK!Since no teams changed positions in the standings, the rundown of the matchups will also double as a rundown... (more...)

For reasons unknown, that definitely had nothing to do with the first place team getting swept, the lanes started falling apart tonight! As did any chance of seeing any of 2nd thru 6th place get locked up early. (more...)  Read More →

With their victories tonight, and with an assist provided by Split It & Hit It, Salt Water Taffy secured the Fall 2015 championship tonight. This is the 2nd championship for Jonathan Vigliaturo, the 5th for Ian Goetz, the 7th for Seth Gunderson, and the 10th for Carl Goetz. Congratulations, fellas! Try not to spend your extra five bucks in one place.The fact that the championship was determined already kind of tells you what went down on lanes 41 & 42. Holy Sandbaggers, Batman! was... (more...)

Turkey week saw lots of turkeys but no movement in the standings, likely due to everyone being overloaded on tryptophan.First up, on lanes 41 & 42: Andrew Finger led It's A Trap! to a sweep against the blind team with his 518 series. However, a big assist came from Dennis Cummings. Last week Dennis noticed that he bowled better taking his glasses off, so he tried it again this week and earned Most Valuable Bowler. It's A Trap! remains in 7th place, while Ray & Stevie remains in 8th.... (more...)

Because the results of the bowling matchups this week were so expected, and therefore so boring, Scoot has absolutely no inspiration for what to write about this week. Due to this, just so Scoot would stay awake writing this, much of the following is a load of crap.On lanes 41 & 42: Salt Water Taffy faced off against 404: Team Name Not Found. Despite (or perhaps because of) being constantly distracted by Zach Cross's wardrobe malfunctions, Ian Goetz rolled his balls off with a 636 series to... (more...)

While everyone has been worrying about the antics of Salt Water Taffy and Stephen Hawkings Dance Club, another team has been quietly cornholing us all and climbing the ranks. With a three week streak sweep so far, could a new contender for first be in our future?First up, on lanes 41 & 42: The other half of Split It & Hit It showed up to roll against 3/4 of It's A Trap!. Led by Todd Way and his 514 series, Split It & Hit It freed 3 wins from the Trap. Chelsie Finger and her... (more...)

After lurking in the shadows much of the season, honing and refining their hunting skills, both of the league's Seans struck with a vengeance tonight. With a 154 average, Sean Miller rolled a 203 and a 205; with a 138 average, Sean Simmons rolled a 214. Congrats, guys, on kicking the door down to The 200 Club!In our first matchup, on lanes 41 & 42, a suffering Hold My Beer, Watch This hoped that Holy Sandbaggers, Batman! would be weak and tired after post-bowling the night before. No such... (more...)

Despite Zoo Bar being cleaned out of virtually everything after today's festivities, there's just enough Guinness and Founders left for Scoot to celebrate his birthday. As a result, tonight's update may be delayed until morning.  Read More →

With Game 1 of the World Series underway, only about half the league showed up to bowl tonight. Most of us were done before 8:00, and with one team post-bowling this will be an abbreviated writeup for now.First up, on lanes 41 & 42: 404: Team Name Not Found faced off against Stephen Hawking's Dance Club. "Leading" 404 with a 482 series, Scott Murdock was eyeing a good shot at his second 600+ series before everything came crashing down in the 9th frame of game 2. Meanwhile, Russell Bingham... (more...)

Tonight's position round reshuffled the standings deck almost as much as Ian shuffled Scoot's poker cards a few weeks ago. In the process, two veteran bowlers set new personal best records.First up, on lanes 41 & 42: Stephen Hawking's Dance Club knew they couldn't get Salt Water Taffy unstuck from first place, but they hoped to at least time a bite from their lead. But Ian Goetz had already made plans to roll his new personal best series tonight, a 709, to lead his team to a 3-1 victory and... (more...)