John Boren was the eleventh bowler inducted into the GutterAlley Hall of Fame, voted in during the Spring 2017 season.

Making his debut in the Fall of 2006 as a substitute – and putting up a series higher than all ten members of the Hall of Fame that entire season – the league had no idea that this lanky, gray-haired warrior and Rookie of the Season would go on to become one of the best bowlers in GutterAlley's history. Beneath his calm exterior burns a desire to constantly improve and, most importantly to him, win...and win he did. Over eight full seasons, Boren either single-handedly led or heavily contributed to seven titles missing out on only one when he broke his collarbone over the summer and subsequently taught himself to bowl with his opposite hand. His team finished in 3rd place that session and he narrowly missed out on being the league's Most Improved Bowler. As of this writing, he's walked away with the championship trophy in the Spring 2007, Fall 2009, Fall 2012, Fall 2013, Fall 2014, Spring 2016, and Fall 2016 seasons.

Boren's prowess on the lanes extends far beyond his championship titles. His name shows up consistently in the best Top 25 lists such as Best Bowlers of All Time, Highest Games of All Time, Most 200+ Games, Most 600+ Series, Highest Lifetime Averages, Most MVBs, Most #1 Power Rankings, Most #1 Head-to-Head Performances, Most Total Pins in a Single Season, Bowlers Who Singlehandedly Won the Most Games, and his personal favorite – the Top 25 Bowlers by Win Percentage, which he's dominated for years. He's also won the Carl Goetz Defensive Bowler of the Season, the Bob Brunker/Rob Kaszuba Good Sportsmanship Award, notched a Cumulative #1 Power Ranked Bowler of the Season nod, and earned the People's Choice Most Valuable Bowler Award twice. As a teammate, he's one of only two bowlers in league history that owns all the top spots in the following categories: Best Win Record, Longest Win Streak, Highest Team Game (4-per), Highest Team Series (4-per), and Best Team of All Time. Each of these records have stood for years, some for almost a decade as of this writing.

Here are a few comments about John from others in the league:

He's soooooooooooooooooo Booooorrreeeennnnnnn!

Because he's spent so much time as a perennial member of the most evil team our league has ever known, it's easy to forget that John joined us as a sub for three mediocre teams, then transformed the 211th best team in league history into 72nd best the next season. He would actually not be swayed to the dark side for another four seasons. Nonetheless, despite his reign of terror that began in Fall of 2009, John is actually one of the nicest people this league has had the pleasure of including, and if it weren't for Rob Kaszuba it's likely he would have won many more than just one Brunker/Kaszuba Good Sportsmanship award.

John Boren is, truly, the Hank Bauer of bowling. While some people think of Babe Ruth, or Lou Gehrig, or Mickey Mantle when they think of baseball legends, Hank Bauer won just as many World Series rings as any of them. Was he a good player? Yes. Yes, he was. Was he great? Enh, not really. But, he knew how to pick his teammates. And sometimes, that's just as valuable.

What can I say about an old guy that is willing to buy my old bowling equipment and play in the league? Well, he takes that old equipment and uses it to beat my team’s ass for the next several years! He even helped Rob and me get our first championship…which I am sure took a lot of effort on his behalf! John is a great bowler and an even better person. He deserves nothing but the best in this league and having him in the Hall of Fame is an obvious decision.

For the longest time, the most competitive bowlers in GutterAlley history were simply Carl and Ken...and then along came John Boren. I've bowled both with and against him over the years and can easily say he's one of my all-time favorite competitors due to his intensity and tenacity. That's the stuff champions — and Hall of Famers — are made of.

And from the inductee himself...

1. What is your personal favorite memory from all your years in the league?

Probably the all-time best was being part of Sweep the Leg, Johnny. We were so good that it wasn’t a question of IF we’d win the league, it was only a question of how far out in front we’d be. We were cocky, not only because we were assholes but because we had earned the right to be. We were better than everyone else and we knew it. That team was the stuff legends are made of. I will mention though that I gave some thought to "The Speech" between Games #1 and #2 and "and THAT’S what an anchor does!!!" I believe the anchor comment is what made Ken realize how competitive I was.

2. What is it about this league that continued to bring you back season after season?

While my first instinct was to say “because I wanted Freda, Phil, Pops, & Aubrey to remember they are my bitches” but I won’t. Honestly, it started as a way to have fun with co-workers but I’ve continued as much for the challenge of winning as anything else. Don’t get me wrong &emdash; I’ve been on some stacked teams but I’ve also been part of teams that weren’t. A couple of my “special” challenges were taking the Guttersluts to its only championship as well as handing Ryan Doll his first championship (hey Doll, sorry…not sorry).

3. What does it mean for you to be inducted into the Hall of Fame?

I think the coolest thing is that it means people noticed my bowling enough to put me in. Like most, I pay attention to my own results more than anyone else’s but there are certainly other people in the league that have always caught my attention because they’re good. I guess I feel like maybe that’s similar to what happened here. I’ve been good enough that people noticed and that’s pretty freaking cool to me! In all seriousness, I’m honored.

It is with great pleasure that the GutterAlley Hall of Fame opens its doors to John Boren.