The eleventh week of Fall 2023, the first bowling session after the time change, was just another reminder of how early it gets dark outside. It left me feeling as gloomy as the skies. I guess some teams climbed and others slipped, but who really cares when it's this dark and depressing outside?
A Dark, Gloomy Night in the Gutter
On November - 7 - 2023ADD COMMENTS
Night of the Living Balls
On October - 31 - 2023ADD COMMENTS
In the eerie, dimly lit bowling alley, the tenth week of Fall 2023 unfolded like a Halloween horror story. The standings remained frozen, as if cursed by some malevolent force, refusing to budge from their haunted positions.
It was the Worst of Times, it was the Worst of Times.
On October - 24 - 2023ADD COMMENTS
Let's face it, last night sucked. I don't know if it was the weather, geopolitical concerns, not enough relaxing pharmaceuticals partaken of before crossing the state line, or Ron putting the oil machine on the "Torture Pattern" setting as a joke, but it has been years since we've seen such an off night all across the board.
Lead Switch Halfway In
On October - 17 - 2023ADD COMMENTS
Welcome to the halfway point of the thrilling Fall 2023 bowling season! Week 8 brought us some fierce competition, with teams rising and falling like pins on the lanes. And while the action was intense, it was the exceptional performances that stole the spotlight. But the biggest twist is likely the first-place lead change at the last moment of the season's first half!
Is The Dolphin Show Over?
On October - 10 - 2023ADD COMMENTS
As the pins fell and the lanes lit up in Week 7, there were surprises aplenty. JoAnne Barber, with her impeccable skill and precision, dominated the scene, achieving the week's high game (155) and series (413) for the women, leaving all of the league's female bowlers in awe. Meanwhile, Matthew Taylor showcased his undeniable prowess, claiming this week's high game (216) and series (585) title for the men, further fueling the competitive spirit of the night.
Sweep-a-Boo!
On October - 3 - 2023ADD COMMENTS
This week every match ended in a sweep (in one case by the thinnest of margins), spreading out the win-loss gaps slightly and causing two teams to trade places in the standings. JoAnne Barber unleashed her inner bowling wizardry to seize this week's women's crown from a mob of fierce competitors for that title, capturing the women's high game at a dazzling 141 and a remarkable series of 389. Meanwhile, on the men's side, Nick Kinney, like a bowling demigod, left a trail of fallen pins in his wake, claiming this week's high game with a jaw-dropping 233 and an astonishing series total of 625.
LVB: Lane 2 Pinsetter. MVB: Ron.
On September - 26 - 2023ADD COMMENTS
The fifth week saw one team climb in the standings, while one team slipped but remains above water. One bowler set a new personal best series, and one rolled new personal high game. As many speculated might happen, JoAnne Barber picked up this week's high game (150) and series (373) for the woman. As for the men, Dustin Schmeltz continued to make his case for Sub of the Season when he snagged this week's high game with a 230, and high series was earned by Matthew Taylor with a 637. Read on for all the rest of the details!
Cox: “Suckers!”
On September - 19 - 2023ADD COMMENTS
The fourth week of Fall 2023 brought thunderous applause and roaring excitement to the bowling lanes, with strikes and spares painting the alley in vibrant hues of victory and camaraderie. While some teams soared to new heights, others grappled with the challenge of maintaining their positions. It was a night of personal bests, thrilling showdowns, and unforgettable moments.
Fin-tastic Dolphins Flip The Standings
On September - 12 - 2023ADD COMMENTS
Apart from a few weeks in 5th place in the first half of Fall 2022, Sun Dolphins have always found themselves stranded on the ocean floor. And they have certainly never had a winning record at any point in their history. But all of that changed last night, when they leapt from the waves and not only got out of dead last, they sailed all the way to second place with a 7-5 record -- their first winning record ever!
Now Officially Average
On September - 5 - 2023ADD COMMENTS
Last week several bowlers were absent due to either travel or being the odd man out on a team of 5, but after this week everyone has finally set an average. So barring any new random subs, next week everyone will know their game results live.
Bowl-a-Palooza ’23 Kicks Off
On August - 29 - 2023ADD COMMENTS
Due to shortage of time and me not having been there to see what actually went down, this week's recap (including all imagery) is AI-generated. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and everyone in between, gather 'round because the Fall 2023 bowling season is officially underway! Six teams have bravely stepped onto the gleaming lanes to battle it out for the most coveted prize in all of bowling: the nonexistent championship trophy. Let's dive headfirst into the glorious chaos that was the league's first night, filled with strikes, spares, and a generous sprinkling of oily balls!
Bowling Starts August 29!
On August - 28 - 2023ADD COMMENTS
Welcome to the Fall 2023 bowling season! This time we are welcoming 27 members back to bowl, as we have now expanded to three teams who are doing rotating 5-person rosters. We are getting very close to moving up to 5 members as the base team size!
Spring 2023 Recap
On July - 24 - 2023ADD COMMENTS
Here is your Spring 2023 Recap, where you can find out who won all the individual awards plus lots more! Our next season will begin on August 22, 2023!
A Balder Victory was In the Cards
On May - 9 - 2023ADD COMMENTS
Clearly the championship counts on these cards need some updating
Step right up, ladies and gents, and witness the grand finale of the Spring 2023 Bowling Season! The pins have been knocked, the lane oil has been smeared all over Nathan, and the champions have been crowned. But hold on to your hats, because this is not the end just yet. On May 23, we will have the grand ceremony to award the deserving champions and distribute the grand prize money, followed by a wild 9-pin-tap fun night. And wait, there's more! Our league will be the first to try out the newly-constructed approaches, which should make it a night to remember. This week JoAnne Barber had to stage an epic comeback to pull off top spot among the league's female bowlers, claiming this week's women's high game (136) and series (379). Meanwhile, Seth Gunderson made the crowd go wild with a 231 high game for the men, and Matthew Taylor took home the men's high series title with a massive score of 605. Read on for all the nitty-gritty details of the thrilling finale!
And Then There Were Four
On May - 2 - 2023ADD COMMENTS
By BowlingBot & ChatGPT
Hold on to your kneecaps, folks, because things are getting heated tonight at St. Johns! In between knocking down pins, JoAnne Barber also managed to knock out her competition for women's game and series - literally. Yes, you heard that right, rumor has it that JoAnne took a bowling pin and smashed the kneecaps of all the other women in the league in order to ensure that she would get high game (130) and series (375) for the women! But let's not forget about the impressive bowling skills on display elsewhere in the league, with Seth Gunderson taking the top spots for the men's high game (209) and series (583). With one out of the running most of the season and another freshly knocked out tonight, four teams remain in contention for the championship -- though two of those will need some luck mixed in with their skill to pull it off. And as the Tournament of Champions gears up for its final showdown, with only eight bowlers left vying for the coveted cash prizes, tensions are high and the stakes are even higher. Keep reading for all the juicy details!
The Standings are Too Close for Comfort
On April - 25 - 2023ADD COMMENTS
By BowlingBot & ChatGPT
St. John's bowling alley was bursting with energy on the fourteenth week of Spring 2023 league. JoAnne Barber dominated the women once again, easily claiming the high game (160) and series (432) for the women. The question on everyone's mind was, why can't any other woman in the league challenge her? Rumors swirled that JoAnne had made a deal with the bowling gods, or perhaps she had been secretly training with a legendary bowling master in the mountains. Meanwhile, Ben Spencer was a force to be reckoned with, earning both the high game (265) and series (640) for the men. It was a night of incredible performances, and by the time the dust settled the top four teams are now all within one win of each other in the standings, setting the stage for an intense final stretch of the season.
Split Up Splits Away
On April - 18 - 2023ADD COMMENTS
By BowlingBot & ChatGPT
The bowling alley was alive with excitement on the thirteenth week of Spring 2023 league games. Amidst the sound of clattering pins and cheers from the sidelines, JoAnne Barber stood tall, a determined look etched on her face. Despite facing adversity, she managed to knock down all the other women in the league and come out on top with an impressive high game of 137 and series of 394. It was no easy feat, but JoAnne's perseverance and skill had earned her the coveted title of this week's queen of the lanes. As for James Tott, he also left his mark with an outstanding high game of 231 and series of 620 among bowlers with scrotal bits, making it a night to remember for all. Keep reading for all the juicy details of this epic bowling session!
Scrambling the Standings
On April - 11 - 2023ADD COMMENTS
By BowlingBot & ChatGPT
Get your carnival tickets and barf bags ready, because the twelfth week of the Spring 2023 season delivered a complete scrambling of the standings by way of a small handful sensational strikes, a moderate smattering of spares, and splits galore! Three teams took a leap up the leaderboard, while two others stumbled their way down. Amidst the action, JoAnne Barber showed how it's done as she claimed the crown of this week's top female bowler with an impressive high game of 146 and a series score of 380. Not to be outdone, Ben Spencer slammed his way to the top of the men's leaderboard with a mighty 215 high game, while Matthew Taylor snatched the high series prize with a towering total of 541. Don't miss a single detail of the riveting results that follow!
Can It Get Much Tighter?
On April - 4 - 2023ADD COMMENTS
Guest-written by BowlingBot & ChatGPT
Get ready to roll with excitement as we enter the eleventh week of the Spring 2023 bowling season! The competition is fierce and the stakes are high as the top 5 teams battle it out, going in with only 4 wins separating them and coming out of tonight with only 2 wins separating them. And it's not just the teams that are bringing their A-game; JoAnne Barber and Nick Kinney proved their mastery on the lanes this week, with JoAnne dominating all yet no other women with a high game of 140 and series of 378, while Nick crushed the males with a high game of 222 and series of 577. Don't miss a beat and read on for all the juicy details of this thrilling night in the bowling league!
Week 10 RoboRecap – Powered by ChatGPT!
On March - 28 - 2023ADD COMMENTS
Bowling enthusiasts, listen up! The tenth week of Spring 2023 brought with it thrilling highs and gut-wrenching lows as the teams battled it out on the lanes. One team was on the rise, while another stumbled, their fate hanging in the balance.
