With 33 seasons of bowling now behind us, the Spring 2016 season ended tonight as the 3rd best season in league history in terms of combined league average, and 4th best and in terms of the number (215) of 200+ games rolled. Congratulations, everyone, on a great season! Read the rest of this entry »
Spring 2016 is History
On May - 24 - 2016ADD COMMENTS
Why Did Pocahontas Leave Her Hairpiece By The Campfire?
On May - 18 - 2016ADD COMMENTS
Tonight, on our last real night of bowling, we were joined by several new people that had never rolled in our league all season. It was the strangest thing, though... none of them were ever seen at the same time as Amber, Michelle S., Angela, Bob, Kody, or John Boren. Very! weird!
Anyway, with the championship already decided last week, we're just going to fly with the mostly computer-generated version of the lane-by-lane portion of the recap so we can hurry and get to the part you all really care about -- cash prizes!
Back to Back Clinchings
On May - 10 - 2016ADD COMMENTS
Fallop Ian clinched the the championship tonight, back-to-back championships for each member of the team! (Technically John Boren was not on the previous winning team, but his team took 1st the last time he bowled.) This is the 11th championship for Carl Goetz, the 8th for Seth Gunderson, the 6th for John Boren, and the 3rd for Jonathan Vigliaturo. Congratulations, guys! But maybe give someone else a chance? 
First up, on lanes 41 & 42: Despite another successful tailgating episode, Split Sisters could not quite find the magic they experienced last week. Led by Michelle Shoemaker and her 366 series, Split Sisters got swept by Bowies In Space. Meanwhile, Michael Mead won all of our weekly accolades with his 696 series, leading Bowies to a clean sweep. Split Sisters remains in 8th place, where they will finish the season, while Bowies In Space moves up 1 spot to 2nd.
Split Sisters Split It and Swept It
On May - 3 - 2016ADD COMMENTS
The Split Sisters utilized the power of high squeaky sounds of excitement to eke out their first sweep of the season! How did everyone else do? Read on to find out...The last time Holy Sandbaggers, Batman! faced 404: Team Name Not Found, a surprising upset resulted in a 3-game victory for 404. Tonight the Sandbaggers were hungry to settle the score. So hungry, in fact, they brought tupperware to take home the leftovers. Unfortunately Aubrey Moren was one of two bowlers wearing an apparently cursed shirt and lead his team with an uncharacteristic 501 series. This gave Team Name Not Found yet another unexpected 3-game victory via Sean Simmons and his 553 series. In fact, the Sandbaggers bagged their one win by merely one pin. Holy Sandbaggers, Batman! remains in 2nd place, while 404: Team Name Not Found moves up 1 spot to 4th.
Escaping the Flood
On April - 26 - 2016ADD COMMENTS
Tonight bowling ended nearly half an hour earlier than usual, allowing everyone to get home without drowning or getting struck by lightning. Due to a combination of weather and Scoot being really tired, we'll be using the computer-generated writeup tonight. Sorry about that! 
Tailgating!
On April - 19 - 2016ADD COMMENTS
When bowling begins with a tailgating session — certainly a first in our league's history and very possibly a first in the history of AMF Pro Bowl — it's an omen that more unexpected things are in store. With new records set and trash talk backfiring, this was definitely an evening of surprises.
The last time 404: Team Name Not Found visited with Split It & Hit It, it was a clean sweep for the 404. This would not be the case tonight, however. Though Russell Bingham led Split It with a 619 series, it very likely could have been Dennis Blake — had he not followed up his career-high (and new league-wide HGS for the season) 278 in game 1 with a 158 for game 2, earning the 9th largest swing in-between games. Meanwhile Scott Murdock and Sean Simmons combined their 200+ powers to earn a solitary win for 404 in game 2. 404: Team Name Not Found drops 1 spot in the standings to 5th place, while Split It & Hit It remains in 7th.
Pat Searcy may try to claim he did it first
On lanes 45 & 46: Fallop Ian won a hollow victory against Bowies In Space. Hollow because Bowies forgot to bring a framed photo, and also continue to fail in their promise to dress up like David Bowie. Led by John Boren and his 694 series, Fallop Ian secured 3 wins against Bowies In Space. Meanwhile, Aaron Barber rolled a new personal-best 721 series and stole the league HSS crown from Kody. Unfortunately even this much work was worth only 1 win. Fallop Ian remains in 1st place, while Bowies In Space remains in 3rd.Finally, down on lanes 47 & 48: Bowlgasmic went 1-3 for the third week in a row, this time against Glory Bowl. Bowlgasmic was led by Kody Karnes, whose 593 series sadly ends his quest to break his own record for most consecutive 600+ series. But all hope is not lost, as there is another record Kody has his eye on. Meanwhile, Andrew Finger led Glory Bowl in the grasping 3 wins with his 528 series, Glory Bowl secured 3 wins. Bowlgasmic remains in 6th place, while Glory Bowl moves up 1 spot to 4th.This week in Tournament of Champions, Aaron Barber won the round to jump into 2nd place in Division 1. Russell Bingham won Division 2 and popped up to 1st place. Freda Schroeder won Division 3, getting on the board for the first time this season. And Little Miss Sandbagger herself, Leslie Patton, continues running away with Division 4.Bowlers who tailgated in the parking lot of The 200 Club this week include: Aaron Barber (234,257,230), Andrew Finger (202), Aubrey Moren (218,216), Carl Goetz (214,234,224), Dennis Blake (278), John Boren (255,247), Jonathan Vigliaturo (227), Kody Karnes (246), Matt O'Dell (204), Michael Mead (204), Russell Bingham (224,213), Scott Murdock (202), Sean Simmons (210), and Seth Gunderson (224)See you next Tuesday!
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THIS WEEK'S MVB
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#1 POWER BOWLER
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#1 H2H BOWLER
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FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE)
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EXPANDED STANDINGS
| Pos. | Team name | Record | Percent | Total Pins | Change |
| 1 | Fallop Ian | 34-14 | .708 | 27,377 | n/a |
| 2 | Holy Sandbaggers, Batman! | 31-17 | .646 | 24,306 | n/a |
| 3 | Bowies In Space | 27-21 | .563 | 26,020 | n/a |
| 4 | Glory Bowl | 25-23 | .521 | 21,136 | +1 |
| 5 | 404: Team Name Not Found | 24-24 | .500 | 21,203 | -1 |
| 6 | Bowlgasmic | 20-28 | .417 | 23,919 | n/a |
| 7 | Split It & Hit It | 20-28 | .417 | 22,047 | n/a |
| 8 | Split Sisters | 11-37 | .229 | 16,137 | n/a |
Top Individual Achievements for Week 12
From Everyone Here, to Barely a Soul Left
On April - 12 - 20161 COMMENT
Tonight's bowling session included some pretty aggravating lane malfunctions, two demonic series (666), and the first 200+ game by a member of Split Sisters. It was also the first time, all season, that all 32 of our bowlers were all present at the same time.First up, on lanes 41 & 42: Bowlgasmic had been predicted to take this series and finally put some pressure on the league leaders. But Fallop Ian just does not seem to be stoppable. This week it was John Boren who, with a 629 series, led the Tubes to 3 wins. Meanwhile, it was the usual Kody Karnes who snared one win for Bowlgasmic with his 682 series. Fallop Ian remains in 1st place, while Bowlgasmic remains in 6th.
A Royal Mess
On April - 5 - 2016ADD COMMENTS
You can always tell when the Royals are playing -- every team that has people related to Freda on it has absent bowlers. Bowling went quickly for most, though we can't report on everything until Fallop Ian post-bowls. UPDATE! All scores are now in.First up among those matchups we can talk about, on lanes 41 & 42: Bowies In Space hoped to continue to hold onto their framed photo of David Bowie as The Goblin King. Despite a massive 615 series by Michael Mead, however, Bowie was only able to get one very narrow win against the non-Royals-game-attending half of Holy Sandbaggers, Batman!. Aubrey Moren pulled out a 619 series with the help of a great first game by Dennis Laube to grab 3 wins. Bowies In Space drops 1 spot in the standings to 3rd place, while Holy Sandbaggers, Batman! moves up 1 spot to 2nd. And Aaron Barber readies another framed photo for next week.
Fear The Cheese
On March - 29 - 20162 COMMENTS
There are many legends and rituals throughout the history of our Bowling League. There was the time David Parre shoved Corey Weinfurt to the ground. (Quickly apoligized for and they made up.) Then there was the time an annoyed Thomas Lin threw his ball nearly to the snack bar. (Also quickly apologized for.) And let's not forget the time Amy Goodnow was accused of smuggling in vodka and almost got banned when in frustration she poured her water bottle out onto the main counter to prove it wasn't vodka. (No apology made except by AMF, that employee was a d**k and didn't deserve one!) There's the Split Jinx, there's humping Scoot. But nothing has held power over the league more than The Cheese Stick Curse has.But, before we get into that, let's get through the recap.First up, on lanes 41 & 42: Split It & Hit It met with Glory Bowl. Dashing Glory Bowl's hopes of 2nd place by a mere 2 pins, Russell Bingham led Split It to a single victory with his 460 series. Meanwhile, led by Matt O'Dell and his 485 series, Glory Bowl secured 3 wins -- just enough to not break out of a three-way tie. Split It & Hit It remains in 7th place, while Glory Bowl remains in 4th.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!
On March - 22 - 2016ADD COMMENTS
Bookended by a lack of movement, the 6 teams not at the extremes all saw shuffling in the standings in this week's position round. Though it's doubful anyone noticed over all the celebratory hollering down on lane 48. First up, on lanes 41 & 42: Fallop Ian met Bowies In Space in a content for rights to the Bowie photo. Led by Carl Goetz and his 633 series, Fallop Ian secured 3 wins against Bowies In Space and got to take the trophy home. Meanwhile, Aaron Barber led Bowies to 1 win with a 583 series. Fallop Ian remains in 1st place, while Bowies In Space drops 1 spot to 3rd and loses their framed photo... for now.
Is the Championship In the Cards?
On March - 15 - 2016ADD COMMENTS
With the midseason position round coming up next week already, one team already seems destined for the championship. Fallop Ian began the season in first place and, despite a few challengers, has yet to relinquish that spot. Will the position round bring about an end to their streak? We'll find out next week.
Almost No Change
On March - 8 - 2016ADD COMMENTS
Despite some major upsets across the league, nothing changed in the standings. Well, almost nothing.First up, on lanes 41 & 42: Bowies In Space met with Bowlgasmic. Led by #1 Power ranked Michael Gordon and his 651 series (his new personal best!), and assisted by the glass-shattering distraction skills of Michael Mead, Bowies In Space secured 3 wins against Bowlgasmic. Notice that Aaron Barber continues to not win any special awards since he is still refusing to dress up as David Bowie. Meanwhile, led by Kody Karnes and his 645 series, Bowlgasmic could only secure 1 win. As he was leaving, Kody was heard muttering to himself that he should never have broken up with AJ Hofmann. Bowies In Space remains in 3rd place, while Bowlgasmic drops 1 spot to 7th.
Slow and Steady Wins the Race
On March - 1 - 2016ADD COMMENTS
For most of the league it was simply too far past their bedtimes, but those who stuck around to the end experienced quite the show. That said, much like the conclusion of bowling this week, we'll come to that in due time.As Scott Murdock walked into the bowling alley this evening, he noticed Jonathan Vigliaturo standing outside near the back door. Making eye contact, Scoot flashed him a grin, followed by a point and a nod as if to say "you're going down," Scoot headed inside, where he then learned that JV was in fact in another state and Scoot had instead just taunted a total stranger that happened to resemble him. The embarrassment of this apparently set his tone for the evening, as Scoot would go on to earn this week's Least Valuable Bowler accolade. Though Sean Simmons stepped up to lead 404: Team Name Not Found to a single victory with his 490 series, this matchup quickly fell under the spell of John Boren. Rolling a punishing 661 series, Boren took Fallop Ian to decisive victories for the remainder of the series. Fallop Ian remains in 1st place, while 404: Team Name Not Found, despite their three losses, moves up 1 spot to 4th.
Fallop Ian Squeezes Through a Small Lead
On February - 23 - 2016ADD COMMENTS
Half of tonight's matchups saw underdogs come out on top, while the other half saw bullies beat up on their prey. Which way did each matchup go? Read on to find out.First up, on lanes 41 & 42: Bowlgasmic intended to crush Glory Bowl into oblivion. Glory Bowl was already suffering due to Chelsie Finger needing to drop out for the season ue to an elbow injury. But then Bowlgasmic lost both Michelle Tollefson and Angela Bradford for the evening. As it turns out, the bad boys of Bowlgasmic flounder in the absence of their team's women. Kody Karnes and his 606 series proved to be no match for the 536 series by Andrew Finger and a Most Valuable Bowler performance by AJ Hofmann, allowing Glory Bowl a clean sweep over their presumed vanquisher. Bowlgasmic drops 3 spots in the standings to 6th place, while Glory Bowl moves up 1 spot to 4th.
Theory of Relativity Proven
On February - 16 - 2016ADD COMMENTS
Just days after the announcement that gravity waves were detected, another portion of Einstein's Theory of Relativity was proven tonight when the matchup that involved Holy Sandbaggers, Batman! finished in less time than any other matchup! Granted, they shed half of their mass in order do do it, but it's all part of the famous equation.First up, on lanes 41 & 42: The usual members of Split It & Hit It did battle with a pint-sized Holy Sandbaggers, Batman!. Led by Dennis Blake and his 542 series, Split It & Hit It managed only 1 win against the Sandbaggers. Meanwhile, and out-of-control Phil Schroeder rolled a 599 series to secure 3 wins for Batman. Split It & Hit It drops 1 spot in the standings to 7th place, while Holy Sandbaggers, Batman! remains in 4th.On lanes 43 & 44: A Scoot-less 404: Team Name Not Found met with Greg Middleton infused Split Sisters. Sean Simmons practiced and propelled himself to become this week's #1 Power Ranked Bowler with his 480 series, leading Not Found to 3 wins against Split Sisters. Meanwhile, sub Greg Middleton's 430 series helped earn Split Sisters their first victory of the season with a game 3 win. 404: Team Name Not Found climbs 1 spot in the standings to 6th place, while Split Sisters remains in 8th.On lanes 45 & 46: Fallop Ian attempted to stimulate some follicles after a Bowlgasmic experience. However, though led by John Boren and his 615 series, the Fallop Ian tubes were blocked and released only 1 win against Bowlgasmic. Meanwhile, with Kody Karnes setting the new season high with his 686 series, and an assist by Bob Brunker's #1 Head-to-Head performance, Bowlgasmic pounded out another 3 wins. Fallop Ian remains in 1st place, while Bowlgasmic jumps 2 spots to 3rd.Finally, down on lanes 47 & 48: Bowies In Space found themselves gravitationally pulled into half of a Glory Bowl. Led by Michael Mead and his MVB-earning 590 series, Bowies In Space launched 3 wins against Glory Bowl. Meanwhile, led by Andrew Finger and his 478 series, Glory Bowl only managed to get one off before getting caught in the act. Bowies In Space remains in 2nd place, while Glory Bowl sinks 2 spots to 5th.The Tournament of Champions is now set to begin next week, the devisions are as follows. (Since Chelsie Finger has missed the first part of the season due to a an elbow injury, she has been seeding using her results from the last time she bowled, week 16 of last season. Read the rest of this entry »
Six More Weeks of Cheese Sticks
On February - 2 - 2016ADD COMMENTS
Bowling took way too long tonight due to some major lane malfunctions, and Scoot has to get up way too early tomorrow, so portions of this week's writeup are computer-generated. Apologies in advance for the lameness of ScooterProgramming™ computer-generated writing.First up, on lanes 41 & 42: Glory Bowl, still missing its Fingers, spent a romantic evening with Split Sisters. And, due to some flawed advice by yours truly, which I feel terrible about, the Split Sisters ended up swept by the Glory Bowl when they could have just barely won game 1. Tim Deddens had the most fun with his Glory Bowl with his 407 series, while Michelle Shoemaker did the Split with her 353. Glory Bowl climbs 4 spots in the standings to 3rd place, while Split Sisters remains in 8th.
Off And Rolling
On January - 26 - 2016ADD COMMENTS
The first week of our 33rd season began with lots of laughter and reunions, progressed through lots of beer, and ended with four teams rubbing their sore butts.First up, on lanes 41 & 42, a 404: Team Name Not Found suffering from 50% their normal level of Seans launched the season with a half-rookied Bowies In Space. Led by Scott Murdock and his 479 series, Team Name Not Found managed only 1 win against Bowies In Space. Meanwhile, Aaron Barber and his 607 series led Bowies In Space to 3 wins before floating off in a tin can. 404: Team Name Not Found debuts in 6th place, while Bowies In Space debuts in 2nd.
Let’s Try This Again… It’s Time to Bowl!
On January - 22 - 2016ADD COMMENTS
After last week's over-panicked snow meltdown, we're ready to give starting this season a second shot! With the weather clowns forecasting partly sunny skies and a temperature a little above freezing, we ought to be a go this Tuesday, January 26th.The rest of this post is a repeat of what was posted last week. If you are new to the league or haven't rolled with us in a while, please read through the "INFO FOR THE NEWCOMERS & RETURNEES" section below if you didn't already do so last week.
This season will feature six new recruits making their debut this season! A special welcome to rookies Amber Waddle, Dustin Schmeltz, Leslie Patton, Michael Mead, Michelle Shoemaker, and Tim Deddens! In addition, three bowlers from the past are re-joining us. John Boren returns to us from the year 2014, Michelle Tollefson time-travels from 2003, and Angie Betts returns from what is literally the pre-historic years of our league, materializing from the ancient year of 2002.START DATE: Tuesday, January
Bowling Postponed 1 Week
On January - 19 - 2016ADD COMMENTS
We got a call from AMF a short while ago, all their other leagues have cancelled tonight due to the weather. Because I had already heard from several others who would not be able to be there tonight, it did not make sense for us to make the bowling alley stay open for about half of our league to show up.Our entire schedule has been shifted by 1 week, and this is now reflected on the web site. We will see you all on the lanes on January 26. Drive safely tonight!
Welcome to the Spring 2016 Season!
On January - 11 - 2016ADD COMMENTS
Thaw your balls, it's time to return to the lanes as the 33rd season of GutterAlley begins on Tuesday, January 19!This season will feature six new recruits making their debut this season! A special welcome to rookies Amber Waddle, Dustin Schmeltz, Leslie Patton, Michael Mead, Michelle Shoemaker, and Tim Deddens! In addition, three bowlers from the past are re-joining us. John Boren returns to us from the year 2014, Michelle Tollefson time-travels from 2003, and Angie Betts returns from what is literally the pre-historic years of our league, materializing from the ancient year of 2002.START DATE: Tuesday, January 19th at 6:20PM (league bowling starts at 6:30 after ten minutes of practice)LOCATION: NKC Pro Bowl, 505 East 18th Avenue, North Kansas City, MO 64116. For you new / returning bowlers, we will be down on lanes 41-48 so you're best off parking behind the bowling alley. The rear parking lot is accessible only from the west side of the building from either 18th Ave or Erie St.MILESTONES TO LOOK FOR THIS SEASON Read the rest of this entry »
