Scoot tried several times last night to get this write-up going, and even had various sets of images already loaded up to go with a theme for either way the election went. But he just couldn't bring himself to do it, and decided that what this nation needs now more than anything else is a bowling recap to help us heal.

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You'd think that with new bowlers continuing to be introduced 11 weeks into the season, that we'd see some changes in the standings. But nope, not this week, every team stayed exactly where they were!

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You'd think we wouldn't be welcoming a new bowler into the league in Week 10, but hey, this is the Fall 2016 season so anything goes. And, in typical Fall 2016 season, the team he was going to bowl on didn't show up. But that's okay, he got to kick ass for another team instead.

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We begin the second half with no movement in the standings, at least not so far. However the matchup between the top two teams can't be reported until the alphabet team post-bowls on Monday.

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It's on. Despite all the sickness and injuries and disappearing team members, our league came back to form in a big way this week. This week was our league's strongest showing since April 19 and the second-strongest performance we've seen so far in 2016. We had more 200+ game tonight (14) than we've seen in any week so far this season. The season is now halfway over, and while last season's champions remain in the lead, a challenger is finally emerging who is chipping away at their lead.

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Our decimated league is now approaching the position round, and yet another injury takes yet another bowler out for the the season. Let's al wish the best for both Mark DeVoe and Kody Karnes on their individual roads to recovery! Meanwhile, nobody moved in the standings this week. Which only makes sense, considering how few league members can even walk.

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In a season that seems to almost be cursed, for the first time this season, every real team had a full roster despite four bowlers being absent. Not that that mattered in any way for keeping the defending champions from making an early start at running away with the season once again.

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Tonight was supposed to see our league finally as full as it's going to get this season, but like several other bowlers our new guy was infected with pestilence. However, Michael Mead showed up and inoculated us with a shot of kick-ass bowling that rocketed him to the top of the individual standings.

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For the first time in league history, the team rolling against the Blind (Vacancy) Team not only didn't finish early, they were actually the last to finish. Meanwhile a late addition to the league (Ben Spencer) made for a complicated first week for the Tournament of Champions, and next week will be equally complicated when another new bowler -- likely the last new bowler this season -- will join us.

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All four matchups ended in sweeps tonight. Who did the sweeping and who wound up in the dustbin? The answers to these questions and more, in this week's episode of All My Gutterballs.

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Apart from some sexy new bowling shirts making a debut, the biggest development tonight was some pretty amazing performances by two of our non-anchors. Congratulations to Dustin and AJ on some mighty fine bowling tonight!

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For what could very well be the first time ever in their 9-season history, Split It & Hit It is in first place! How did it come to this? Read on to find out...

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Welcome to the Fall 2016 bowling season, our 34th session! This season will so far feature one new recruit making his debut. Welcome to the league, Landon Cline! We also welcome back Bryan Bay, Dennis Cummings, and Jake Parrott.

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With 33 seasons of bowling now behind us, the Spring 2016 season ended tonight as the 3rd best season in league history in terms of combined league average, and 4th best and in terms of the number (215) of 200+ games rolled. Congratulations, everyone, on a great season! Read the rest of this entry »

Tonight, on our last real night of bowling, we were joined by several new people that had never rolled in our league all season. It was the strangest thing, though... none of them were ever seen at the same time as Amber, Michelle S., Angela, Bob, Kody, or John Boren. Very! weird!Anyway, with the championship already decided last week, we're just going to fly with the mostly computer-generated version of the lane-by-lane portion of the recap so we can hurry and get to the part you all really care about -- cash prizes!

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Fallop Ian clinched the the championship tonight, back-to-back championships for each member of the team! (Technically John Boren was not on the previous winning team, but his team took 1st the last time he bowled.) This is the 11th championship for Carl Goetz, the 8th for Seth Gunderson, the 6th for John Boren, and the 3rd for Jonathan Vigliaturo. Congratulations, guys! But maybe give someone else a chance? First up, on lanes 41 & 42: Despite another successful tailgating episode, Split Sisters could not quite find the magic they experienced last week. Led by Michelle Shoemaker and her 366 series, Split Sisters got swept by Bowies In Space. Meanwhile, Michael Mead won all of our weekly accolades with his 696 series, leading Bowies to a clean sweep. Split Sisters remains in 8th place, where they will finish the season, while Bowies In Space moves up 1 spot to 2nd.

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The Split Sisters utilized the power of high squeaky sounds of excitement to eke out their first sweep of the season! How did everyone else do? Read on to find out...The last time Holy Sandbaggers, Batman! faced 404: Team Name Not Found, a surprising upset resulted in a 3-game victory for 404. Tonight the Sandbaggers were hungry to settle the score. So hungry, in fact, they brought tupperware to take home the leftovers. Unfortunately Aubrey Moren was one of two bowlers wearing an apparently cursed shirt and lead his team with an uncharacteristic 501 series. This gave Team Name Not Found yet another unexpected 3-game victory via Sean Simmons and his 553 series. In fact, the Sandbaggers bagged their one win by merely one pin. Holy Sandbaggers, Batman! remains in 2nd place, while 404: Team Name Not Found moves up 1 spot to 4th.

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Tonight bowling ended nearly half an hour earlier than usual, allowing everyone to get home without drowning or getting struck by lightning. Due to a combination of weather and Scoot being really tired, we'll be using the computer-generated writeup tonight. Sorry about that!

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When bowling begins with a tailgating session — certainly a first in our league's history and very possibly a first in the history of AMF Pro Bowl — it's an omen that more unexpected things are in store. With new records set and trash talk backfiring, this was definitely an evening of surprises. The last time 404: Team Name Not Found visited with Split It & Hit It, it was a clean sweep for the 404. This would not be the case tonight, however. Though Russell Bingham led Split It with a 619 series, it very likely could have been Dennis Blake — had he not followed up his career-high (and new league-wide HGS for the season) 278 in game 1 with a 158 for game 2, earning the 9th largest swing in-between games. Meanwhile Scott Murdock and Sean Simmons combined their 200+ powers to earn a solitary win for 404 in game 2. 404: Team Name Not Found drops 1 spot in the standings to 5th place, while Split It & Hit It remains in 7th.

Before bowling began, Scoot posted a snarky comment on Facebook about the matchup between Split Sisters and Holy Sandbaggers, Batman! not likely ending before next season begins. Scoot did not count on some pre-bowling tailgating to energize the Split Sisters, and the trash talk backfired (with his own matchup ending up being last to finish). Led by Michelle Shoemaker and her 384 series, Split Sisters didn't get any wins but at least weren't last to finish by a matter of several minutes. Meanwhile, led by Aubrey Moren and his 588 series (and assisted by Freda Schroeder's Most Valuable Bowler performance), Holy Sandbaggers, Batman! secured a clean sweep. Split Sisters remains in 8th place, the Sandbaggers remain in 2nd. On lanes 45 & 46: Fallop Ian won a hollow victory against Bowies In Space. Hollow because Bowies forgot to bring a framed photo, and also continue to fail in their promise to dress up like David Bowie. Led by John Boren and his 694 series, Fallop Ian secured 3 wins against Bowies In Space. Meanwhile, Aaron Barber rolled a new personal-best 721 series and stole the league HSS crown from Kody. Unfortunately even this much work was worth only 1 win. Fallop Ian remains in 1st place, while Bowies In Space remains in 3rd.Finally, down on lanes 47 & 48: Bowlgasmic went 1-3 for the third week in a row, this time against Glory Bowl. Bowlgasmic was led by Kody Karnes, whose 593 series sadly ends his quest to break his own record for most consecutive 600+ series. But all hope is not lost, as there is another record Kody has his eye on. Meanwhile, Andrew Finger led Glory Bowl in the grasping 3 wins with his 528 series, Glory Bowl secured 3 wins. Bowlgasmic remains in 6th place, while Glory Bowl moves up 1 spot to 4th.This week in Tournament of Champions, Aaron Barber won the round to jump into 2nd place in Division 1. Russell Bingham won Division 2 and popped up to 1st place. Freda Schroeder won Division 3, getting on the board for the first time this season. And Little Miss Sandbagger herself, Leslie Patton, continues running away with Division 4.Bowlers who tailgated in the parking lot of The 200 Club this week include: Aaron Barber (234,257,230), Andrew Finger (202), Aubrey Moren (218,216), Carl Goetz (214,234,224), Dennis Blake (278), John Boren (255,247), Jonathan Vigliaturo (227), Kody Karnes (246), Matt O'Dell (204), Michael Mead (204), Russell Bingham (224,213), Scott Murdock (202), Sean Simmons (210), and Seth Gunderson (224)See you next Tuesday!

THIS WEEK'S MVB Freda Schroeder Runner Up: (See Posting)	#1 POWER BOWLER Aaron Barber Runner Up: John Boren	#1 H2H BOWLER Aaron Barber Runner Up: John Boren
FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE) "Did you guys cum on our balls?" Mark DeVoe, addressing the sausage fest in general down on 41&42, after his and Sean S's balls came back covered in sticky residue.

Pos.	Team name	Record	Percent	Total Pins	Change
1	Fallop Ian	34-14	.708	27,377	n/a
2	Holy Sandbaggers, Batman!	31-17	.646	24,306	n/a
3	Bowies In Space	27-21	.563	26,020	n/a
4	Glory Bowl	25-23	.521	21,136	+1
5	404: Team Name Not Found	24-24	.500	21,203	-1
6	Bowlgasmic	20-28	.417	23,919	n/a
7	Split It & Hit It	20-28	.417	22,047	n/a
8	Split Sisters	11-37	.229	16,137	n/a

Men's High Series Scratch	Women's High Series Scratch
Aaron Barber - 721 John Boren - 694 Carl Goetz - 672 Russell Bingham - 619 Seth Gunderson - 607	Freda Schroeder - 527 Angela Bradford - 490 Michelle Shoemaker - 384 Amber Waddle - 371 Angie Betts - 357
Men's High Series Handicap	Women's High Series Handicap
Aaron Barber - 730 John Boren - 703 Russell Bingham - 681 Carl Goetz - 672 Scott Murdock - 659	Freda Schroeder - 654 Leslie Patton - 600 Angela Bradford - 600 (t) Michelle Shoemaker - 566 Amber Waddle - 558
Men's High Game Scratch	Women's High Game Scratch
Dennis Blake - 278 Aaron Barber - 257 John Boren - 255 Kody Karnes - 246 Carl Goetz - 234	Freda Schroeder - 192 Angela Bradford - 185 Angie Betts - 135 Amber Waddle - 134 Michelle Shoemaker - 133
Men's High Game Handicap	Women's High Game Handicap
Dennis Blake - 291 Aaron Barber - 260 John Boren - 258 Jonathan Vigliaturo - 252 Kody Karnes - 246	Freda Schroeder - 234 Angela Bradford - 221 Leslie Patton - 206 Angie Betts - 201 Amber Waddle - 196
Men's Pins Over Average	Women's Pins Over Average
Dennis Blake - 95 Aaron Barber - 61 Jonathan Vigliaturo - 59 John Boren - 59 (t) Sean Simmons - 51 Russell Bingham - 50	Freda Schroeder - 45 Leslie Patton - 31 Angela Bradford - 31 (t) Angie Betts - 18 Amber Waddle - 12 Michelle Shoemaker - 9

Tonight's bowling session included some pretty aggravating lane malfunctions, two demonic series (666), and the first 200+ game by a member of Split Sisters. It was also the first time, all season, that all 32 of our bowlers were all present at the same time.First up, on lanes 41 & 42: Bowlgasmic had been predicted to take this series and finally put some pressure on the league leaders. But Fallop Ian just does not seem to be stoppable. This week it was John Boren who, with a 629 series, led the Tubes to 3 wins. Meanwhile, it was the usual Kody Karnes who snared one win for Bowlgasmic with his 682 series. Fallop Ian remains in 1st place, while Bowlgasmic remains in 6th.

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