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Fear The Cheese

Posted by ScooterJ March 29, 2016 Spring 2016, Week 9 View Score Sheets

There are many legends and rituals throughout the history of our Bowling League. There was the time David Parre shoved Corey Weinfurt to the ground. (Quickly apoligized for and they made up.) Then there was the time an annoyed Thomas Lin threw his ball nearly to the snack bar. (Also quickly apologized for.) And let's not forget the time Amy Goodnow was accused of smuggling in vodka and almost got banned when in frustration she poured her water bottle out onto the main counter to prove it wasn't vodka. (No apology made except by AMF, that employee was a d**k and didn't deserve one!) There's the Split Jinx, there's humping Scoot. But nothing has held power over the league more than The Cheese Stick Curse has.But, before we get into that, let's get through the recap.First up, on lanes 41 & 42: Split It & Hit It met with Glory Bowl. Dashing Glory Bowl's hopes of 2nd place by a mere 2 pins, Russell Bingham led Split It to a single victory with his 460 series. Meanwhile, led by Matt O'Dell and his 485 series, Glory Bowl secured 3 wins -- just enough to not break out of a three-way tie. Split It & Hit It remains in 7th place, while Glory Bowl remains in 4th.

On lanes 43 & 44: Fallop Ian took turns kicking the ball return with Split Sisters. Led by Carl Goetz and his 610 series, Fallop Ian secured 3 wins against Split Sisters. But with Michelle Shoemaker and her 390 series, and actually a great game by the entire team in game 2, Split Sisters managed 1 win. A kicked ball return at the end of that game was quickly comforted with some gentle patting by Amber Waddle. Fallop Ian remains comfortably in 1st place, while Split Sisters remains in 8th.

On lanes 45 & 46: Bowlgasmic faced off against Holy Sandbaggers, Batman!. Led by Kody Karnes and his 673 series, Bowlgasmic secured 3 wins against Holy Sandbaggers, Batman!. Meanwhile, led by Aubrey Moren and his 575 series, Holy Sandbaggers, Batman! could only secure 1 win. Bowlgasmic climbs 1 spot in the standings to 5th place, while Holy Sandbaggers, Batman! drops 1 spot to 3rd. Bowlgasmic doesn't yet quite have a winning record, but tonight may have turned the tide in their momentum.

Finally, down on lanes 47 & 48: 404: Team Name Not Found floated in a tin can with Bowies In Space. Led by Sean Miller and his 494 series, 404: Team Name Not Found managed only 1 win against Bowies. Meanwhile, led by Aaron Barber and his 567 series, Bowies In Space grabbed 3 wins. 404: Team Name Not Found drops 1 spot in the standings to 6th place, while Bowies In Space moves up 1 spot to 2nd.

In that last matchup, it should be noted that in Game 2, Dustin Schmeltz ordered cheese sticks at the end of the first frame and opened for the next 6 frames in a row. The Cheese Stick Curse is real, people.

Look. Throughout the past 33 seasons, many people have been tempted by The Stick and paid the price. People have scoffed and denied the power of the cheese, only to suffer the consequences. From the moment you place the order, until the last crumb is eaten and the empty plate is discarded, you will miss easy spares and roll under average. And that's if you're lucky. Here's some historically documented examples:

  • On November 17, 2015, Jonathan Vigliaturo celebrated a 232 game with a rod of cheesy goodness. His next game was a 107.
  • In August 2014, AJ Hofmann couldn't hold back the desire for four inches of hot gooey pleasure and rolled under average 14 games in a row.
  • On March 27, 2007, Deena Slinkard merely inhaled the vapors of a teammate's cheese sticks after rolling a 231. The severe reaction it triggered resulted in her next game being a 97.
  • In 2005, Terri Schiavo was given a puréed cheese stick through her feeding tube.* Nothing more needs to be said here.
  • Finally, back in 2001 when we were a Monday Night league, Nik Domann ate cheese sticks on the 3rd night of the season. The next day was 9/11. Screw you, Nik!

So, as you can see, cheese sticks are not to be trifled with. Don't f with the cheese!

This week in Tournament of Champions, Michael Mead took this round and the #1 spot in Division 1. Division 2 was ruled by Bob Brunker, moving him into a tie with Scott Murdock. Sean Simmons extended his lead over Division 3, and AJ Hofmann took Division 4 but falls 1 pin shy of placing for now.Bowlers who didn't eat cheese sticks and got to visit The 200 Club this week include: Aaron Barber (201), Aubrey Moren (240), Bob Brunker (225), Carl Goetz (217,203), John Boren (212), Jonathan Vigliaturo (210), Kody Karnes (233,257), Michael Gordon (200), and Seth Gunderson (212)See you next Tuesday! *(Yes, this is part of the League Lore as well, and directly relates to why our web site address is what it is. :) )

THIS WEEK'S MVB


AJ Hofmann
Runner Up:
(See Posting)

  #1 POWER BOWLER


Kody Karnes
Runner Up:
Bob Brunker

  #1 H2H BOWLER


Carl Goetz
Runner Up:
Phil Schroeder

  FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE)
"I told Freda I wouldn't smack her butt after strikes tonight. She seemed disappointed."

Bob Brunker. No further elaboration needed.

EXPANDED STANDINGS
Pos. Team name Record Percent Total Pins Change
1 Fallop Ian 25-11 .694 20,083 n/a
2 Bowies In Space 21-15 .583 19,346 +1
3 Holy Sandbaggers, Batman! 21-15 .583 17,951 -1
4 Glory Bowl 21-15 .583 15,481 n/a
5 Bowlgasmic 17-19 .472 17,957 +1
6 404: Team Name Not Found 17-19 .472 15,678 -1
7 Split It & Hit It 15-21 .417 16,173 n/a
8 Split Sisters 7-29 .194 11,703 n/a
Top Individual Achievements for Week 9
Men's High Series Scratch Women's High Series Scratch
Kody Karnes - 673
Carl Goetz - 610
Aubrey Moren - 575
Bob Brunker - 568
Aaron Barber - 567
Angela Bradford - 479
Freda Schroeder - 393
Michelle Shoemaker - 390
Michelle Tollefson - 350
Angie Betts - 322
Men's High Series Handicap Women's High Series Handicap
Kody Karnes - 673
Bob Brunker - 628
Phil Schroeder - 612
Carl Goetz - 612 (t)
Aubrey Moren - 606
Angela Bradford - 589
Michelle Shoemaker - 584
Leslie Patton - 559
Michelle Tollefson - 549
Freda Schroeder - 520
Men's High Game Scratch Women's High Game Scratch
Kody Karnes - 257
Aubrey Moren - 240
Bob Brunker - 225
Carl Goetz - 217
John Boren - 212
Seth Gunderson - 212 (t)
Angela Bradford - 170
Freda Schroeder - 147
Michelle Shoemaker - 138
Michelle Tollefson - 126
Angie Betts - 123
Amber Waddle - 123 (t)
Men's High Game Handicap Women's High Game Handicap
Kody Karnes - 257
Aubrey Moren - 250
Bob Brunker - 245
Jonathan Vigliaturo - 235
Seth Gunderson - 222
Leslie Patton - 213
Angela Bradford - 206
Michelle Shoemaker - 202
Michelle Tollefson - 192
Freda Schroeder - 189
Men's Pins Over Average Women's Pins Over Average
Aubrey Moren - 53
Bob Brunker - 50
Kody Karnes - 44
Jonathan Vigliaturo - 42
Sean Miller - 29
Leslie Patton - 39
Michelle Shoemaker - 19
Angela Bradford - 16
Michelle Tollefson - 9
Angie Betts - 5


2 Responses to “Fear The Cheese”

  1. avatar Jonathan says:

    That cheese stick stat about me is made up. Bunch of heathens.

  2. avatar AJ Hofmann says:

    But if another team buys them in attempts to curse you, it’ll result in a 12 game above average rally!

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