In the alleys of the eleventh week of Spring 2024, strikes were flying, spares were spared, and emotions were high as bowling fever gripped the lanes! JoAnne Barber dazzled with her remarkable 147 high game and a solid 397 series, continuing her insanely long streak of being the league's top female bowler. Meanwhile, Matthew Taylor flexed his bowling muscles with an impressive 224 high game and a whopping 606 series, leaving the other dangly-bits-possessing league members in awe.

'It' tried to start but then the Grumpy Old Men said no.

First on the lineup at lanes 1 & 2, the clash between the spirited It Starts Now! and the seasoned veterans of Grumpy Old Men. Brett Affolter led the charge for Starts with his above-average 501 series, but alas, they could only secure one win against the seasoned Grumps. AJ Hofmann, with his commanding 532 series, steered his team to victory, clinching three wins and leaving the Starts scratching their heads. Starts may have slipped a spot in the standings, but Grumps held their ground in third place, grinning ear to ear with their triumph.

Holy mackerel! In the oceanic matchup on lanes 3 & 4, Next up, the sun-kissed Sun Dolphins faced off against the elusive Squid Row. Ryan Sisco gave his all for the Dolphins with his above-average 442 series, yet they could only muster a single win against the formidable Squids. But lo and behold, #1 Head-to-Head Matthew Taylor, the bowling juggernaut who inked an impressive 606 series, alongside the likes of #1 Power-Ranked and Most Valuable Bowler Chris Windham and the other cephalopods, dominated the lanes, securing three wins for the Squids. While the Dolphins may remain in sixth place, the Squids reign supreme at the top, their tentacles wrapping around victory.

Lastly, on lanes 5 & 6 the showdown between DB Lenz a Hand and Schindler's Fists was nothing short of electrifying. JoAnne Barber shone bright for Lenz Handlers with her above-average 397 series, but despite her stellar performance, they could only split the series with the resilient Fists. Aaron Barber led the charge for Fists with a solid 553 series, matching their opponents in wins. Yet, amidst the excitement, a shadow loomed as Chris Lenz bid farewell for the season due to an unfortunate elbow injury. Nevertheless, the Lenz Handlers climbed a spot in the standings, while the Fists maintained their grip on second place, their fists pumping in victory. And never fear, next week Dustin Schmeltz will join Lenz A Hand to replace Chris for the remainder of the season.

Bowlers rolling into The 200 Club include: Aaron Barber (203) and Matthew Taylor (224,202)

In this week's Tournament of Champions brackets: Matthew Taylor won Division 1, while Brett Affolter eradicated Division 2. Chris Windham rolled his ass to the top of Division 3, and nobody claimed victory in Division 4 (though Chris Lenz came closest). In terms of overall points: Matthew Taylor reigns over Division 1; Scott Thompson calls the shots for Division 2; Chris Windham holds the reins in Division 3; and Carl Mueller tops Division 4.

NEXT WEEK:

• First, on lanes 1&2, 6th-place Sun Dolphins (hcp 108) will test their mettle against 2nd-place Schindler's Fists. Dolphins are expected to maintain their current strength as they lose the series but avoid getting swept; while Fists are forecast to drop their average a bit even as they enjoy their victories.
• Moving to lanes 3&4, 3rd-place Grumpy Old Men will chuck some balls with 4th-place DB Lenz a Hand (hcp 46). Grumps might roll a little low and lose the series but avoid getting swept; while Lenz Handlers ought to hold steady as they enjoy their victories.
• Finally, on lanes 5&6, 5th-place It Starts Now! (hcp 64) will meet with 1st-place Squid Row. Starts are predicted to maintain their current strength as they get swept; while Squids are anticipated to raise their average while they rack up a sweep.

^*(Remember, the predicted results above are based on mathematical extrapolations and can be changed by all sorts of factors. If you don't like how your team's results are predicted, you and your teammates have the power to prove the math wrong!)

THIS WEEK'S MVB Chris Windham Runner Up: (See Posting)	#1 POWER BOWLER Chris Windham Runner Up: Matthew Taylor	#1 H2H BOWLER Matthew Taylor Runner Up: Chris Windham
FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE) "If I could I would hit you on your face with my hand." Clayton Burrow, to Ryan Sisco, after Ryan accused Clayton of dumping all of Ryan's belongings onto the floor by the coat rack which itself was after Clayton was unable to find his shoes and blamed Ryan. Bourbon may have been involved.