The thirteenth week of Fall 2021 saw one team climb in the standings, while two teams slipped. JoAnne Barber picked up this week's high game (144) and series (372) for the women, while Carl Goetz earned this week's high game (226) and series (600) for the men. Read on for all the rest of the details!

First up, on lanes 1 & 2: With a battle so mismatched that the outcome could trigger the apocalypse, the swashbucklers of The Heavy Pins drew pistols at dawn with the mischievous Shephus Cripes. In spite of the prowess of #1 Power Ranked and #1 Head-to-Head Kent Harms and his astounding 565 series, Heavy P accomplished only 1 win against Shephus. As this was happening, Carl Goetz with his better-than-normal 600 series mastered Shephus as his team took the match with 3 wins. The Heavy Pins drop 1 spot in the standings to 6th place, while Shephus remain in 2nd.

On lanes 3 & 4: Would You Rather... kept stealing sips of beer from Going Going Bald. Even though highlighted by the skills of Scott Murdock with his 453 series, Would You got swept by Baldness. Among the other players in the match, Ben Spencer with his 538 series showed off for Baldness (with kudos to Most Valuable Bowler Chris Windham) as they swept the competition. Would You Rather... remains in 3rd place, while Baldness remain in 1st.

Finally, down on lanes 5 & 6: Kenny Fan Club found their destiny gripped in the icy hands of Bowlie Guacamole. Featuring Conor Clarke with his above-average 557 series, Kenny locked up a clean sweep over Guac. On the other lane, Dustin Schmeltz with his slightly-off 458 series oversaw Guac despite his team getting swept. Kenny Fan Club leaps 2 spots in the standings to 4th place, while Guac sinks 1 spot to 5th.

Bowlers ducking past the bouncer at The 200 Club include: Ben Spencer (205), Carl Goetz (226), Conor Clarke (202), Dennis Walling (213), Kent Harms (209), and Seth Gunderson (201)

In this week's Tournament of Champions brackets: Carl Goetz swept Division 1, while Scott Murdock dominated Division 2. Kent Harms eradicated Division 3, and Ben Conaghan mopped up Division 4. In terms of overall points: Carl Goetz governs Division 1; Scott Murdock and James Tott lead Division 2 in a tie; Kent Harms runs the show in Division 3; and Brandon Martinez dominates Division 4.

NEXT WEEK:

• First, on lanes 1&2, 4th-place Kenny Fan Club (hcp 9) will tussle with 3rd-place Would You Rather.... Kenny is expected to maintain their current strength as they win the series; while Would You is forecast to drop their average a bit while they avoid getting swept.
• Moving to lanes 3&4, 6th-place The Heavy Pins will challenge 5th-place Bowlie Guacamole (hcp 31). Heavy P might maintain their current strength as they win the series; while Guac ought to hold steady as they avoid getting swept.
• Finally, on lanes 5&6, 1st-place Going Going Bald (hcp will throw some gutter balls with 2nd-place Shephus Cripes. Baldness are predicted to maintain their current strength as they get swept; while Shephus are anticipated to hold steady as they rack up a sweep.

^*(Remember, the predicted results above are based on mathematical extrapolations and can be changed by all sorts of factors. If you don't like how your team's results are predicted, you and your teammates have the power to prove the math wrong!)

THIS WEEK'S MVB Chris Windham Runner Up: (See Posting)	#1 POWER BOWLER Kent Harms Runner Up: Chris Windham	#1 H2H BOWLER Kent Harms Runner Up: Chris Windham
FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE) "So much Fake News is being reported on GutterAlley. They don't even try to get it right, or correct it when they are wrong. They post the fake scorsheet of mentally deranged Conor Clarke, who knowingly marks false spares. The Gutteralley Media is crazed that WE are going to win the championship!" Kent Trump, twittering some sort of nonsense