NOTE: DUE TO SCOOT HAVING A VERY BUSY WORKWEEK, THIS WEEK'S WRITEUP WILL REMAIN A ROBO-RECAP.

The sixth week of Spring 2019 saw five teams climb in the standings, while six teams slipped. One bowler set a new personal best series, and one rolled new personal high game. Freda Schroeder landed this week's high game for the women with a 179, and women's high series was bagged by Monica Hufford with a 447. As for the men, Matthew Taylor earned this week's high game (279) and series (747). Read on for all the rest of the details!

First up, on lanes 1 & 2: With closely-matched team strength, Scoot's Raging Bone Spur debated whether to go all Tonya Harding on Open Frames R Us. Though reinforced by Scott Murdock with his above-average 531 series, Bone Spurs accomplished only 1 win against Open Frames. Meanwhile, James Tott with his better-than-normal 479 series emboldened Open Frames as his team took the match with 3 wins. Scoot's Raging Bone Spur drops 1 spot in the standings to 6th place, while Open Frames move up 1 spot to 8th.

On lanes 3 & 4: In a fairly closely-matched lineup #MGAGA faced off against Pin Is King. Despite a show of strength by Aaron Barber with his above-average 608 series, Hashtags got swept by PinIs Kings. So what went on with the other team? Well, trifecta-winner (#1 Head-to-Head, #1 Power-Ranked, and Most Valuable Bowler) Matthew Taylor and his bone-chilling 747 series reigned supreme within PinIs Kings as they swept the competition. #MGAGA drops 1 spot in the standings to 4th place, while PinIs Kings move up 1 spot to 1st.

On lanes 5 & 6: BDE sparred with The Pin Is Mightier. Blessed by Jeremy Cline with his above-average 575 series, BDE achieved a clean sweep over Mightiers. On the adjacent lane, Curtis Whiles with his slightly-off 448 series motivated Mightiers despite his team getting swept. BDE leaps 2 spots in the standings to 5th place, while Mightiers sink 1 spot to 7th.

On lanes 7 & 8: Ray & Stevie deliberately ate cheese sticks in front of JoAnne's Dirty PJs. With the Blind Team forfeiting, all Dirty PJs needed to do was roll within 40 pins of their combined team average each game. However, that would not be the case. In their battle to get within at least 40 pins of average, Pat Hamell with his better-than-normal 382 series showed off for Dirty PJs despite his team notching only a single win. Ray & Stevie remains in 12th place, while Dirty PJs plunge 2 spots to 10th.

On lanes 9 & 10: A well-matched pair of rivals gathered as CICK Ass chucked gutter balls with We Don't Give a Split. While headlined by Ken M. Wilson with his above-average 642 series, CICK Ass accomplished only 1 win against Split Not Given. On the other side of the tracks, Aubrey Moren with his 543 series commanded Split Not Given as his team took the match with 3 wins. CICK Ass drop 1 spot in the standings to 2nd place, while Split Not Given moves up 1 spot to 3rd.

Finally, down on lanes 10 & 11: Extreme Outliers rock and rolled all night and partied every day with Bowl Movements. Although receiving some motivation from Ben Spencer with his below-average 401 series, Outliers accomplished only 1 win against Movements. In the midst of this, Joe Meyer with his better-than-normal 420 series drew the spotlight of Movements as his team took the match with 3 wins. Extreme Outliers drop 1 spot in the standings to 11th place, while Movements jump 2 spots to 9th.

Bowlers who stumbled into The 200 Club include: Aaron Barber (212,203), Aubrey Moren (202), Dennis Walling (201,205), Ian Goetz (206), James Tott (203), Jeremy Cline (223), Jonathan Vigliaturo (200), Ken M. Wilson (223,221), Matthew Taylor (244,279,224), Michael Gordon (221), and Nick Kinney (242)

A new personal high game was set tonight by Matthew Taylor (279, previous best 266). In addition, a new personal best series was rolled by Matthew Taylor (747, previous best 707).

Matthew Taylor nabbed both high game and series for the men this season with his 279 and 747, respectively.

The 279 rolled by Matthew Taylor is tied for the 5th-best game in league history!
The 747 rolled by Matthew Taylor is the new 5th-best series in league history!

In this week's Tournament of Champions brackets: Ken M. Wilson decimated Division 1, while Matthew Taylor swept Division 2. Joe Meyer routed Division 3, and Emily DeCoursey cleaned up Division 4. Finally, Phil Schroeder (Division 2) rolled his ass to the top of this week's Interdivisional bracket. And Rob Kaszuba (Division 2) proved that he belongs in the Master Bowling Nation by playing with himself to completion. In terms of overall points: Ian Goetz calls the shots for Division 1; Rob Kaszuba reigns over Division 2; Ben Spencer is in the driver's seat in Division 3; and Emily DeCoursey dominates Division 4.

NEXT WEEK:

• First, on lanes 1&2, 9th-place Bowl Movements (hcp 109) will meet with 2nd-place CICK Ass. Movements are expected to roll a little low and get swept; while CICK Ass are forecast to drop their average a bit even as they rack up a sweep.
• Moving to lanes 3&4, 3rd-place We Don't Give a Split will chill with 12th-place Ray & Stevie (forfeit). Split Not Given might roll a little low, but split the series with the Blind Team; while the Blind Team ought to just sit in motionless silence.
• Then, over on lanes 5&6, 10th-place JoAnne's Dirty PJs (hcp 54) will roll against 6th-place Scoot's Raging Bone Spur. Dirty PJs will likely maintain their current strength as they lose the series but avoid getting swept; while Bone Spurs will probably hold steady as they enjoy their victories.
• Next up, on lanes 7&8, 1st-place Pin Is King will hang out with 11th-place Extreme Outliers (hcp 277). PinIs Kings might roll a little low, yet still manage to sweep the series; while Outliers ought to hold steady as they endure a rough night.
• Moving to lanes 9&10, 8th-place Open Frames R Us will battle 7th-place The Pin Is Mightier (hcp 41). Open Frames will likely roll a little low and lose the series but avoid getting swept; while Mightiers will probably hold steady as they enjoy their victories.
• Finally, on lanes 11&12, 5th-place BDE (hcp 72) will test their mettle against 4th-place #MGAGA. BDE is predicted to have a bit of an off night and get swept; while Hashtags are anticipated to drop their average a bit even as they rack up a sweep.

^*(Remember, the predicted results above are based on mathematical extrapolations and can be changed by all sorts of factors. If you don't like how your team's results are predicted, you and your teammates have the power to prove the math wrong!)

THIS WEEK'S MVB Matthew Taylor Runner Up: (See Posting)	#1 POWER BOWLER Matthew Taylor Runner Up: Ken Wilson	#1 H2H BOWLER Matthew Taylor Runner Up: Aaron Barber
FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE) "Why does the bowling alley keep accepting bowlers from all these shithole leagues?" Chantal Trump, though unclear if refering to Wabash or Tuesday Early.