The Spring 2018 position round is now history, and the championship will be on us before we know it! This week we saw two teams move up in the rankings, while three teams were left muttering about how to impeach league President Scott Murdock who was absent for an unprecedented 102nd time visiting one of his favorite bars. Taking advantage of the first day of Spring, one bowler set a new personal best series, and two rolled new personal high games. Monica Hufford landed this week's high game for the women with a 208, and women's high series was bagged by Angela Bradford with a 496. As for the men, Matthew Taylor earned this week's high game (266) and series (630). Read on for all the rest of the details!

First up, on lanes 3 & 4: Armed with a growing stack of grievances and transgressions against the league, WITNESS!!! tried to create some space between them and second place Splitbowl Countries. Splitbowl came out firing to dominate game one behind Matthew Taylor's high game of the week (266) and eventual high series of the week (630). After removing their shoes to count on their fingers and toes the pins needed to make up, WITNESS!!! clawed their way back to take games 2 and 3 along with series. In retaliation for clogging up the turned off lanes with gutter balls, the computers awarded Splitbowl a rare fourth game, resulting in our first ever regular season 5 game matchup that Splitbowl wins 3 to 2. WITNESS!!! holds onto 1st place, while Splitbowl remains in 2nd.

On lanes 5 & 6: Unable to claim Bob Brunker's abnormally high average as blind, HOF Sandwich was forced to pick up incredibly difficult splits while Mary Janes Last Frame brought in a scientist to provide them a much needed doping formula. Despite starting off strong and winning game one, Mary Jane's magic potion ran out, AJ Hofmann is in a walking boot after kicking the ball return, and Sandwich won the last two games and series. Kody Karnes (tonight's split master) improved his game with an above-average 628 series. Michael Mead, saddened by Scott's lack of recognition for his birthday, put up a better-than-normal 605 series. HOF Sandwich remains in 3rd place, while Mary Jane wonders when sidelined Dennis Walling will return as they drop 1 spot to 5th.

On lanes 7 & 8: With a battle so mismatched that the outcome could trigger the apocalypse (or at least a shortage of beer), the "we used to be a championship team" Holy Sandbaggers, Batman! entered a showdown to the death with the long-shots PBR Me, ASAP. Though somewhat emboldened by Phil Schroeder with his 501 series, the Sandbaggers managed only 1 win against PBR. On the other lane, encouraged by Pat Hamell's return, Josh Rothermel led PBR with a 413 series (with kudos to Most Valuable Bowler JoAnne Gordon) as his team took the match with 3 wins. Holy Sandbaggers, Batman! drops 1 spot in the standings to 6th place, while PBR leaps 2 spots to 4th (one spot higher than JoAnne's brother Michael Gordon.)

Finally, down on lanes 9 & 10: Three Strikes and a Spare had some one-on-one time with Sit Down, Be Humbowl. Notwithstanding the leadership of Monica Hufford and her 461 series, Three Strikes accomplished only 1 win against Humbowl. So what went on with the other team? Well, #1 Power Ranked and #1 Head-to-Head Brian Byfield pulled out all the stop on his way to a 528 series propelling Humbowl to 3 wins. The dramatics of position round caused these teams to flip positions with Three Strikes and a Spare moving down 1 spot in the standings to 8th place, while Humbowl inches up 1 spot to 7th.

Bowlers who lied to their significant other claiming bowling was running long then went out for after-bowling drinks at The 200 Club include: Aaron Barber (218,213), Bob Brunker (203), Jonathan Vigliaturo (244), Kody Karnes (215,216), Matthew Taylor (266), Michael Gordon (225), Michael Mead (233), Monica Hufford (208), and Sean Simmons (210,205)

New personal high games were set tonight by Matthew Taylor (266, previous best 254) and Brian Byfield (191, previous best 187). In addition, a new personal best series was rolled by Brian Byfield (528, previous best 492).

Adding to the excitement, the 266 rolled by Matthew Taylor is this season's new high game for men.

In this week's Tournament of Champions brackets: Nobody claimed victory in Division 1 (though Michael Mead came closest), while nobody claimed victory in Division 2, and in fact we aren't even going to talk about Division 2 as it was a complete embarassment. Sean Simmons whipped Division 3, and Brian Byfield creamed Division 4. In terms of overall points: Michael Mead holds the reins in Division 1; Nick Kinney and Phil Schroeder call the shots in Division 2 in a tie; Jonathan Vigliaturo and Ben Spencer dominate Division 3 in a tie; and Emily Nicolet reigns over Division 4.

NEXT WEEK:

• First, on lanes 3&4, 5th-place Mary Janes Last Frame will chill with 8th-place Three Strikes and a Spare (hcp 159). Mary Jane is expected to roll a little low, yet still manage to sweep the series; while Three Strikes are forecast to drop their average a bit while they endure a rough night.
• Moving to lanes 5&6, 6th-place Holy Sandbaggers, Batman! will hang out with 7th-place Sit Down, Be Humbowl (hcp 48). The Sandbaggers might maintain their current strength as they sweep the series; while Humbowl ought to drop their average a bit while they endure a rough night.
• Then, over on lanes 7&8, 3rd-place HOF Sandwich will tussle with 4th-place PBR Me, ASAP (hcp 175). The Sandwich will likely roll decently and sweep the series; while PBR will probably hold steady as they endure a rough night.
• Finally, on lanes 9&10, 1st-place WITNESS!!! will battle 2nd-place Splitbowl Countries (hcp 18). Witness!!! is predicted to roll a little low, yet still manage to win the series; while Splitbowl is anticipated to drop their average a bit while they avoid getting swept.

^*(Remember, the predicted results above are based on mathematical extrapolations and can be changed by all sorts of factors. If you don't like how your team's results are predicted, you and your teammates have the power to prove the math wrong!)

THIS WEEK'S MVB JoAnne Gordon Runner Up: (See Posting)	#1 POWER BOWLER Brian Byfield Runner Up: Sean Simmons	#1 H2H BOWLER Brian Byfield Runner Up: Sean Simmons
FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE) "I told her to bring us another beer in 5 minutes and it's been 7 now." Aaron Barber, explaining his abysmal game 1