By now every team has bowled each other once, so next week is the Spring 2018 position round. So, remember, no new subs next week! But enough about next week, you came here to read about this week.

The seventh week saw two teams climb in the standings, while two teams slipped. One bowler set a new personal best series, and one rolled new personal high game. Angela Bradford picked up this week's high game (246) and series (579) for the women. As for the men, Matthew Taylor snagged this week's high game with a 254, and high series was earned by Kody Karnes with a 644. Read on for all the rest of the details!

First up, on lanes 3 & 4: In what amounted to a David vs Goliath situation, the meek and seemingly helpless PBR Me, ASAP had a rendezvous with the intimidating Holy Sandbaggers, Batman!. Showcasing JoAnne Gordon with her astonishing and not-so-meek-after-all 426 series, PBR collected 3 wins against the Sandbaggers. In the midst of this, Aubrey Moren with his better-than-normal 633 series took the lead among the Sandbaggers despite his team notching only a single win. PBR Me, ASAP remains in 6th place, while the Sandbaggers remain in 5th.

Honorary MVB goes to Michelle Taylor for managing the league's gambling addictions in Scoot's absence.

On lanes 5 & 6: In a matchup that could almost be considered unfair, the scrappy underdogs Three Strikes and a Spare spent some quality time with the big bullies of WITNESS!!!. Even though highlighted by the skills of James Tott with his 435 series, Three Strikes got swept by Witness!!!. Among the other players in the match, Nick Kinney with his better-than-normal 594 series shone in Witness!!! as they swept the competition. Three Strikes and a Spare leaps 1 spot in the standings to 7th place, while Witness!!! remains in 1st.

On lanes 7 & 8: Sit Down, Be Humbowl had to put work before pleasure, to the potential benefit of Splitbowl Countries. With Humbowl forfeiting, all Splitbowl needed to do was roll within 40 pins of their combined team average each game. However, that would not be the case. In their battle to get within at least 40 pins of average, Matthew Taylor with his 599 series called the shots for Splitbowl as his team took the match with just 3 of the 4 possible forfeit wins. Sit Down, Be Humbowl drops 1 spot in the standings to 8th place, while Splitbowl remains in 2nd.

Finally, down on lanes 9 & 10: With closely-matched team strength, HOF Sandwich couldn't stop inappropriately groping Mary Janes Last Frame. Led by trifecta-winner (#1 Head-to-Head, #1 Power-Ranked, and Most Valuable Bowler) Kody Karnes and his above-average 644 series, the Sandwich locked up a clean sweep over Mary Jane. As this was happening, Michael Gordon with his 565 series ruled Mary Jane despite his team getting swept. Exacerbating matters, the waves of awesomeness emanating from Kody's rolling contributed to a shoulder injury that forced Dennis Walling to stop bowling 2 frames into the second game. HOF Sandwich leaps 1 spot in the standings to 3rd place, while Mary Jane sinks 1 spot to 4th.

Bowlers who were on the list for The 200 Club include: Aaron Barber (206), Angela Bradford (246), Aubrey Moren (243,207), Kody Karnes (206,212,226), Matthew Taylor (254), Michael Gordon (223), Nick Kinney (206,200), Russell Bingham (201,200), Sean Simmons (203), and Seth Gunderson (213)

A new personal high game was set tonight by JoAnne Gordon (191, previous best 157). In addition, a new personal best series was rolled by JoAnne Gordon (426, previous best 405).

Adding to the excitement, the 246 rolled by Angela Bradford is this season's new high game among women.

The 246 rolled by Angela Bradford is the new 2nd-best women's game in league history!
The 579 rolled by Angela Bradford is the new 10th-best women's series in league history!

In this week's Tournament of Champions brackets: Aubrey Moren walloped Division 1, while Nick Kinney had his way with Division 2. James Tott trounced Division 3, and nobody claimed victory in Division 4 (though Jeremy Varnell came closest). In terms of overall points: Aaron Barber and Aubrey Moren are both in the driver's seat (on each other's laps?) in Division 1 in a tie; Nick Kinney reigns over Division 2; Jonathan Vigliaturo holds the reins in Division 3; and Emily Nicolet runs the show in Division 4.

NEXT WEEK:

• First, on lanes 3&4, 1st-place WITNESS!!! will test their mettle against 2nd-place Splitbowl Countries (hcp 20). Witness!!! is expected to maintain their current strength as they and split the series with Splitbowl; while Splitbowl is forecast to hold steady as they keep the series tied.
• Moving to lanes 5&6, 3rd-place HOF Sandwich will roll against 4th-place Mary Janes Last Frame (hcp 10). The Sandwich might perform well and sweep the series; while Mary Jane ought to see their team average take a dive while they endure a rough night.
• Then, over on lanes 7&8, 5th-place Holy Sandbaggers, Batman! will throw some gutter balls with 6th-place PBR Me, ASAP (hcp 127). The Sandbaggers will likely have a bit of an off night and lose the series but avoid getting swept; while PBR will probably hold steady as they enjoy their victories.
• Finally, on lanes 9&10, 7th-place Three Strikes and a Spare (hcp 64) will challenge 8th-place Sit Down, Be Humbowl. Three Strikes are predicted to maintain their current strength as they sweep the series; while Humbowl is anticipated to drop their average a bit while they endure a rough night.

^*(Remember, the predicted results above are based on mathematical extrapolations and can be changed by all sorts of factors. If you don't like how your team's results are predicted, you and your teammates have the power to prove the math wrong!)

THIS WEEK'S MVB Kody Karnes Runner Up: (See Posting)	#1 POWER BOWLER Kody Karnes Runner Up: Aubrey Moren	#1 H2H BOWLER Kody Karnes Runner Up: Nick Kinney
FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE) "I'd have been stringing together so many more turkeys sooner had I known I could choose Kody lap dances over humping Scoot!" Angela Bradford, receiving Game 3 enlightenment.