We have clawed our way to the halfway mark of the Spring 2025 season, meaning the time to pounce on a championship opportunity is dwindling fast. Week eight saw some teams stretch their paws toward victory, while others took a tumble down the standings. JoAnne Barber scratched out the high game for the women with a 139, while Cat Atwood nimbly leaped to the top with a 391 series. On the men’s side, Seth Gunderson unleashed a ferocious 233 for the high game, and AJ Hofmann roared to high series with a 582. But that’s just the tip of the scratching post—read on for the full rundown!

FFK would like to draw your attention to the lower right corner of the scoreboard. (Click to view larger.)

First up, on lanes 1 & 2: Squid Row took on FFK for the second time this season, but this time regretted it. Despite a valiant effort from Matthew Taylor and his 461 series, Squid Row was completely shredded, eaten, and partially vomited back up in a hairball as the hissing Feline Fury Kittens pounced on every single game, securing a flawless sweep (their first of the season). Nathan Burrows, the undisputed king of the alley this week, batted around the competition like a toy mouse, landing a staggering 537 series and claiming trifecta honors (#1 Head-to-Head, #1 Power-Ranked, and Most Valuable Bowler) while Cat Atwood just barely missed earning a second MVB in a row. This litter of Kittens, empowered bu their new shirts, purred with excitement as they climbed to 5th place, while Squid Row, tentacles tucked between their, uh, tentacles, slipped to 3rd.

On lanes 3 & 4: FILPB went head-to-head with Bowls Deep. The alley echoed with the sound of strikes and humpings as Seth Gunderson led the charge for FILPB, posting a powerful 555 series and guiding his team to three victories. Meanwhile, Ian Estey put up a strong 534 series for Bowls Deep, but his team managed only a single win, leaving them gasping for air. Despite the fierce battle, FILPB holds onto their throne at the top, while Bowls Deep, perhaps distracted my all the meowing on the adjacent lanes, remains anchored deeeeeep in 4th.

Finally, down on lanes 5 & 6: Gutterly Hopeless took on , and for Hopeless, it was another heartbreak. Jeremy Varnell put up a respectable 408 series, but it wasn’t enough to stop the avalanche as Team Name Loading steamrolled through every game. AJ Hofmann led the charge, his dominant 582 series making it clear that Team Name Loading wasn’t here to play nice—they were here to win. The victory had them celebrating their climb to 2nd place, while Gutterly Hopeless, gutterly defeated, slumped to 6th.

Bowlers who used the litterbox then headed over The 200 Club for some catnip include: AJ Hofmann (213), Dustin Schmeltz (201), Nathan Burrows (212), and Seth Gunderson (233)

In this week's Tournament of Champions brackets: AJ Hofmann eradicated Division 1, while Scott Murdock crushed Division 2. Jeremy Varnell creamed Division 3, and Brian Schaben got the better of Division 4. In terms of overall points: Ian Estey calls the shots for Division 1; Nathan Burrows, Scott Lawson, and Scott Murdock lead Division 2 in a tie; Jeremy Varnell is in the driver's seat in Division 3; and Brian Schaben governs Division 4.

NEXT WEEK:

• First, on lanes 1&2, 6th-place Gutterly Hopeless will share a couple of pitchers with 4th-place Bowls Deep (hcp 18). Hopeless are expected to maintain their current strength as they win the series; while DEEEEEEP is forecast to drop their average a bit while they avoid getting swept.
• Moving to lanes 3&4, 2nd-place will chill with 5th-place FFK (hcp 12). Team Name Loading might maintain their current strength as they win the series; while Kittens ought to drop their average a bit while they avoid getting swept.
• Finally, on lanes 5&6, 1st-place FILPB (hcp 11) will challenge 3rd-place Squid Row. Eff It is predicted to have a bit of an off night, yet still manage to win the series; while Squid is anticipated to see their team average take a dive while they avoid getting swept.

^*(Remember, the predicted results above are based on mathematical extrapolations and can be changed by all sorts of factors. If you don't like how your team's results are predicted, you and your teammates have the power to prove the math wrong!)

THIS WEEK'S MVB Nathan Burrows Runner Up: (See Posting)	#1 POWER BOWLER Nathan Burrows Runner Up: Cat Atwood	#1 H2H BOWLER Nathan Burrows Runner Up: AJ Hofmann
FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE) "I swear to God, Scoot, the next time we bowl on 1 & 2 I'm going to string AJ up from the rafters over these lanes. And whether we are bowling these guys when it happens determines whether he gets to keep his pants on." Matt Taylor, motioning to FFK, after his team was swept by FFK on lanes 1 & 2.

Pos.	Team name	Record	Percent	Total Pins	Change
1	FILPB	22.5-9.5	.703	15,607	n/a
2	(Team Name Loading)	18.5-13.5	.578	13,872	+1
3	Squid Row	18-14	.563	15,923	-1
4	Bowls Deep	14.5-17.5	.453	12,382	n/a
5	FFK	12-20	.375	13,423	+1
6	Gutterly Hopeless	10.5-21.5	.328	11,735	-1