In the thunderous lanes of the thirteenth week of Spring 2024, the air was electric with anticipation as the beasts of the lanes clashed. Leading the charge was none other than the legendary Kent Harms, whose name alone was enough to send shivers down the spines of his opponents. As the pins trembled in fear, Harms unleashed his unparalleled skill, claiming both the high game (257) and series (683) of the week -- both new personal bests, rewriting the annals of bowling history with each thunderous roll of the ball. In fact his series is also the new league high series for the season.

(See also: This week's Bingo results)

In the arena of lanes 1 & 2, Squid Row faced off against the DB Lenz a Hand. With #1 Head-to-Head and Most Valuable Bowler Dennis Walling spearheading the Squids' charge with a formidable 579 series, their victory was swift and decisive, sweeping aside the Lenz Handlers with the finesse of a seasoned captain guiding his ship through treacherous waters. Despite Doug Lenz's valiant effort, his 430 series proved insufficient to stem the tide of the Squids' onslaught. Squid Row maintained their iron grip on 1st place, while Lenz Handlers found themselves cast adrift, sinking one spot to 5th, their hopes dashed upon the rocks of defeat.

On lanes 3 & 4, the clash between It Starts Now! and the Sun Dolphins unfolded like a tale of ancient rivalry renewed. With #1 Power-Ranked Kent Harms leading the charge for Starts, his astonishing 683 series left the Dolphins reeling, their hopes dashed against the rocks of his relentless assault. As Ryan Sisco fought valiantly with a commendable 457 series, his efforts were in vain, swept aside by the unstoppable force that was Harms and his comrades. It Starts Now! ascended one spot in the standings to 4th place, their victory a testament to the indomitable spirit of champions, while the Dolphins remained mired in 6th, their dreams of glory fading like footprints in the sand.

Meanwhile, on lanes 5 & 6, the clash between Schindler's Fists and the Grumpy Old Men raged with the fury of a tempest unleashed. With Aaron Barber at the helm, the Fists unleashed a barrage of strikes, claiming three hard-fought victories against their cantankerous adversaries. Though AJ Hofmann stood as a beacon of hope for the Grumps with his formidable 510 series, his efforts could only secure a single win against the relentless onslaught of the Fists. Schindler's Fists maintained their steadfast hold on 2nd place, their victory a testament to the unyielding strength of their resolve, while the Grumpy Old Men found themselves humbled, yet undeterred, remaining in 3rd place, their spirits tempered by the fires of adversity.

Bowlers lounging at The 200 Club include: Ben Spencer (212), Brett Affolter (205), Kent Harms (257,255), and Matthew Taylor (214)

A new personal high game was set tonight by Kent Harms (257, previous best 243). In addition, a new personal best series was rolled by Kent Harms (683, previous best 637).

Adding to the excitement, the 683 rolled by Kent Harms is this season's new high series for men.

In this week's Tournament of Champions brackets: Kent Harms vanquished Division 1, while Brett Affolter walloped Division 2. Nobody claimed victory in Division 3, and in fact we aren't even going to talk about Division 3 as it was a complete embarassment, and nobody claimed victory in Division 4 (though Brian Schaben came closest). In terms of overall points: Matthew Taylor is in the driver's seat in Division 1; Scott Thompson dominates Division 2; Chris Windham leads Division 3; and Carl Mueller calls the shots for Division 4.

NEXT WEEK:

• First, on lanes 1&2, 2nd-place Schindler's Fists will chill with 4th-place It Starts Now! (hcp 46). Fists are expected to perform weakly as they lose the series but avoid getting swept; while Starts are forecast to drop their average a bit even as they enjoy their victories.
• Moving to lanes 3&4, 1st-place Squid Row will match wits with 3rd-place Grumpy Old Men (hcp 67). Squids might perform well and sweep the series; while Grumps ought to drop their average a bit while they endure a rough night.
• Finally, on lanes 5&6, 6th-place Sun Dolphins (hcp 43) will hang out with 5th-place DB Lenz a Hand. Dolphins are predicted to maintain their current strength as they and split the series with Lenz Handlers; while Lenz Handlers are anticipated to drop their average a bit while they keep the series tied.

^*(Remember, the predicted results above are based on mathematical extrapolations and can be changed by all sorts of factors. If you don't like how your team's results are predicted, you and your teammates have the power to prove the math wrong!)

THIS WEEK'S MVB Dennis Walling Runner Up: (See Posting)	#1 POWER BOWLER Kent Harms Runner Up: Dennis Walling	#1 H2H BOWLER Dennis Walling Runner Up: Kent Harms
FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE) "I do it at least once a day, usually around 7:00 at night. I just wait till no one is around, then I whip it out. F it." JC Cox, on drinking whisky from his flask in public.