Apart from a few weeks in 5th place in the first half of Fall 2022, Sun Dolphins have always found themselves stranded on the ocean floor. And they have certainly never had a winning record at any point in their history. But all of that changed last night, when they leapt from the waves and not only got out of dead last, they sailed all the way to second place with a 7-5 record -- their first winning record ever!

Two bowlers set a new personal best series. JoAnne Barber picked up this week's high game (144) and series (369) for the woman, while Matthew Taylor earned this week's high game (278) and series (685) for the men. And the Tournament of Champions divisions are now set, ready for one-on-one action to begin next week! Read on for all the rest of the details!

First up, on lanes 1 & 2: With two bowlers missing (one of whom replaced by a sub), Glory Bowl got down on their knees to genuflect and pray for some wins against Balderdash. And it sort of worked. With the Power of Christ compelling Brett Affolter to a dazzling 594 series, the G-Holers split the series with Bald Boys. Concurrently, #1 Power-Ranked Matthew Taylor and his staggering 685 series inspired Bald Boys as they matched their opponent in wins. Glory Bowl remains in 4th place, while Bald Boys sink 1 spot to 3rd.

On lanes 3 & 4: √-1 tried using imaginary math to get more wins against Vigs Eras Tour 2023, but the result was mostly negative. Despite being led by AJ Hofmann with his 496 series, Imaginary Number accomplished only √1 win against The Vigs Tour crew. On the other side of the equation, #1 Head-to-Head Nick Kinney and his miraculous 624 series took charge of The Vigs Tour crew as his team took the match with 3 wins. √-1 plummets 2 spots in the standings to 5th place, while The Vigs Tour crew remains in 1st.

Take it easy, fellas. We know you're excited, but this is a church. Save this type of celebrating for the parking lot.

Finally, down on lanes 5 & 6: Tired of more than a year of being taunted and teased with morsels of mackerel, Sun Dolphins lashed out and bit the DB Lenz a Hand that feeds them. Scott Thompson showed strength of porpoise with his blowhole-throttling 549 series, with kudos to Most Valuable Bowler JC Cox, Dolphins celebrated an extremely rare (for them) clean sweep over DB Handlers. Though Doug Lenz with his slightly-off 396 series took the lead among DB Handlers, it wasn't enough to save them from beng dragged to the depths and drowned. Sun Dolphins leap 4 spots in the standings to 2nd place, while DB Handlers sink 1 spot to 6th.

Bowlers who were on the list for The 200 Club include: Aaron Barber (211), AJ Hofmann (209), Brett Affolter (202,201), Matthew Taylor (278,228), Nick Kinney (214,216), and Scott Thompson (208)

New personal best series were rolled tonight by Nathan Burrows (486, previous best 470) and Scott Thompson (549, previous best 508).

JoAnne Barber earned both this season's women's high game and series with her 144 and 369, respectively. In addition, Matthew Taylor nabbed both high game and series for the men this season with his 278 and 685, respectively.

The 278 rolled by Matthew Taylor is tied for the 8th-best game in league history!

NEXT WEEK:

• First, on lanes 1&2, 5th-place √-1 will face 2nd-place Sun Dolphins (hcp 64). Imaginary Number is expected to roll a little low and lose the series but avoid getting swept; while Dolphins are forecast to hold steady as they enjoy their victories.
• Moving to lanes 3&4, 6th-place DB Lenz a Hand (hcp 152) will test their mettle against 3rd-place Balderdash. DB Handlers might roll a little low and get swept; while Bald Boys ought to hold steady as they rack up a sweep.
• Finally, on lanes 5&6, 4th-place Glory Bowl (hcp 104) will match wits with 1st-place Vigs Eras Tour 2023. The G-Holers are predicted to maintain their current strength as they lose the series but avoid getting swept; while The Vigs Tour crew is anticipated to drop their average a bit even as they enjoy their victories.

^*(Remember, the predicted results above are based on mathematical extrapolations and can be changed by all sorts of factors. If you don't like how your team's results are predicted, you and your teammates have the power to prove the math wrong!)

THIS WEEK'S MVB JC Cox Runner Up: (See Posting)	#1 POWER BOWLER Matthew Taylor Runner Up: Nick Kinney	#1 H2H BOWLER Nick Kinney Runner Up: Brett Affolter
FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE) "Dibs on Varnell's nicely-marbled corpse." A hungry JC, as the Sun Dolphins skipped the mackerel to feast on the remains of the obliterated DB Lenz A Hand.