By BowlingBot & ChatGPT
Step right up, ladies and gents, and witness the grand finale of the Spring 2023 Bowling Season! The pins have been knocked, the lane oil has been smeared all over Nathan, and the champions have been crowned. But hold on to your hats, because this is not the end just yet. On May 23, we will have the grand ceremony to award the deserving champions and distribute the grand prize money, followed by a wild 9-pin-tap fun night. And wait, there's more! Our league will be the first to try out the newly-constructed approaches, which should make it a night to remember. This week JoAnne Barber had to stage an epic comeback to pull off top spot among the league's female bowlers, claiming this week's women's high game (136) and series (379). Meanwhile, Seth Gunderson made the crowd go wild with a 231 high game for the men, and Matthew Taylor took home the men's high series title with a massive score of 605. Read on for all the nitty-gritty details of the thrilling finale!

On lanes 1 and 2, the Sun Dolphins and Glory Bowl squared off in a match that will be studied by bowling scholars for decades to come. The Dolphins, led by the exceptional skills of the Most Valuable Bowler Ryan Sisco, proved to be a force to be reckoned with, as he racked up an impressive 472 series. But don't count out the G-Holers just yet, as Brett Affolter delivered a stunning 551 series that left the crowd in awe. It was a battle of skill, precision, and determination as both teams matched each other win for win. In the end, the Sun Dolphins finished in the only spot the could -- last -- while the G-Holers closed out the season in 5th place. So let's give a round of applause to both teams for a match that will be remembered for all time.

On lanes 3 and 4, Just Shitty Enough faced off against their new arch-rivals -- Let's Split Up Gang! It was a battle of nerves, strategy, and sheer skill as both teams vied for a narrow shot at the championship. Just Shitty Enough came to play, led by the stellar performance of Seth Gunderson, who delivered a whopping 599 series, leaving the Gang in the dust with only a single win. But the Gang didn't go down without a fight, with Doug Lenz dominating the lanes with his impressive 462 series. In the end, it was Just Shitty Enough that proved to be Just Unshitty Enough to jump up two spots in the standings, finishing in an impressive 2nd place. Meanwhile, the members of Let's Split Up Gang! remained comfortable in 3rd place, but with their heads held high after an intense match.

Finally, the fate of the league truly rested in the events on lanes 5 and 6, where we witnessed a bowling match that will go down in infamy! I Thought This Was AA? hoped to cause an upset on league-leading Balderdash. But unfortunately for I Thought This Was AA?, disaster struck when Nathan Burrows forgot to change back into his bowling shoes after a smoke break and ended up sliding to his untimely death in the pinsetter. With the team heartbroken by this devastating accident, even with the heroic efforts of #1 Power Ranked and #1 Head-to-Head AJ Hofmann (who delivered a stunning 573 series) AA was unable to score even a single win, leaving every team in the league (except Balderdash) disappointed. Meanwhile, Matthew Taylor and his Bald Boys put on a show, sweeping the competition with Matthew's better-than-normal 605 series leading the way. In the end, I Thought This Was AA? dropped two spots in the standings to finish in 4th place, while the Bald Boys reigned supreme, taking home the championship title in 1st place. Let's give a round of applause to both teams for an unforgettable match, albeit one with a tragic twist.

Bowlers slipping under the velvet rope in front of The 200 Club include: AJ Hofmann (205), Ben Spencer (227), Brett Affolter (200), Carl Goetz (201), John Boren (203), Matthew Taylor (223), Nick Kinney (204), and Seth Gunderson (231)

After a hard fought season, the Tournament of Champions was won tonight by AJ Hofmann (Division 3), with Michael Gordon (Division 2) landing in second place. AJ will pocket the nice first-place pot, while Michael will take away the second-place pot. Congratulations!

Though tonight was the last night that counts, we still have one more week to go! After we enjoy a week off, on May 23 we will begin with a league meeting led by Balderdash, where awards winners will be announced and prize money handed out. Everybody gets cash! The meeting will be at 6:30 and will include a buffet of either chicken or pizza, depending on which won the vote. After that, 9-pin tap bowling just for fun! (Knocking down 9 pins on the first ball counts as a strike.)

THIS WEEK'S MVB Ryan Sisco Runner Up: (See Posting)	#1 POWER BOWLER AJ Hofmann Runner Up: Seth Gunderson	#1 H2H BOWLER AJ Hofmann Runner Up: Michael Gordon
FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE) "It's those Medium shirts, it's really hard for him to get them off at the end of the day." Matthew Taylor, explaining how Dennis Walling injured his back.

Pos.	Team name	Record	Percent	Total Pins	Change
1	Balderdash	38-26	.594	32,817	n/a
2	Just Shitty Enough	34-30	.531	34,008	+2
3	Let's Split Up Gang!	32.5-31.5	.508	27,496	n/a
4	I Thought This Was AA?	32-32	.500	27,193	-2
5	Glory Bowl	31-33	.484	28,200	n/a
6	Sun Dolphins	24.5-39.5	.383	24,470	n/a

Men's High Series Scratch	Women's High Series Scratch
Matthew Taylor - 605 Seth Gunderson - 599 AJ Hofmann - 573 Michael Gordon - 561 Carl Goetz - 556	JoAnne Barber - 379
Men's High Series Handicap	Women's High Series Handicap
AJ Hofmann - 690 Seth Gunderson - 668 Matthew Taylor - 653 Michael Gordon - 652 Ryan Sisco - 628	JoAnne Barber - 551
Men's High Game Scratch	Women's High Game Scratch
Seth Gunderson - 231 Ben Spencer - 227 Matthew Taylor - 223 AJ Hofmann - 205 Nick Kinney - 204	JoAnne Barber - 136
Men's High Game Handicap	Women's High Game Handicap
Seth Gunderson - 254 Ben Spencer - 249 AJ Hofmann - 244 Matthew Taylor - 239 Chris Lenz - 236	JoAnne Barber - 193
Men's Pins Over Average	Women's Pins Over Average
Seth Gunderson - 60 Ben Spencer - 55 AJ Hofmann - 54 Chris Lenz - 50 Nicholas Knight - 43 Matthew Taylor - 43 (t)	JoAnne Barber - 8