The Spring 2023 season is now underway, with six teams entering the 16-week competition for the coveted, nonexistent championship trophy. One bowler rolled a new personal best game. As will likely happen 15 more times this season JoAnne Barber picked up this week's high game (131) and series (365) for the woman. As for the men, Nick Kinney forgot this is the week to sandbag and snagged this week's high game with a 237, and high series was earned by Matthew Taylor with a 610. Read on for all the rest of the details!

First up, on lanes 1 & 2: In a matchup that could almost be considered unfair, the unscrupulous tuna fishers aboard the SS Just Shitty Enough cast their nets and hauled in a load of Sun Dolphins, which they then mercilessly bludgeoned before tossing them back into the water for the sharks to feed on. Demonstrating the prowess of #1 Power-Ranked Nick Kinney and his 602 series, Just Shitty locked up a clean sweep over Dolphins. On the adjacent lane, Ryan Sisco and Ray Scott with their parallel 379 series (while in a nearby parallel universe, their parallel selves rolled a 511 series tonight, so at least some versions of them had a better night) laid down the law for Dolphins despite their team getting swept. Just Shitty Enough begins the season in 2nd place, while Dolphins commence with 6th.

We may never know what causes this random scoreboard bug, since it disappears if I load the scoreboard a second time. (Click to see the impossible results larger.)

On lanes 3 & 4: In what ended up a rather lopsided matchup, the dark lords of Balderdash hung out with the supposedly-powerful Let's Split Up Gang!. Propelled by the skills of #1 Head-to-Head Matthew Taylor and his 610 series, with kudos to Most Valuable Bowler Michael Gordon, Bald Boys welcomed a clean sweep over the splitter-uppers. In the midst of this, Aaron Barber with his 510 series drew the spotlight of the splitters despite his team getting swept. Balderdash enters the world in 1st place, while the splitter-uppers get rolling in 5th.

Finally, down on lanes 5 & 6: With the narrowest of handicaps, Glory Bowl found their destiny gripped in the icy hands of I Thought This Was AA?. Reinforced by Kent Harms and Brett Affolter with their matching 495 series (they also wore matching underwear, according to one of the pervs on the bowlaholics who was busy keeping notes in the men's room), the G-Holers collected 3 wins against the bowlaholics. Meanwhile, Scott Murdock with his 426 series called the shots for the bowlaholics despite his team notching only a single win. Glory Bowl starts out in 3rd place, while the bowlaholics spring to life in 4th.

'New abandoned winning poker hand, who dis?'

We still don't know for certain which upcoming week of bowling will be postponed for lane upgrade construction. We are holding out hope that it's Valentine's Day but we'll see.

Bowlers who sneaked in through the employee entrance of The 200 Club include: Ben Spencer (209,221), Carl Goetz (213), Kent Harms (202), Matthew Taylor (211,204), and Nick Kinney (237,213)

A new personal high game was set tonight by Jim Koger (198, previous best 167).

NEXT WEEK:

• First, on lanes 1&2, 3rd-place Glory Bowl (estimated hcp 9) will chill with 5th-place Let's Split Up Gang!. The G-Holers are expected to maintain their current strength as they and split the series with the splitter-uppers; while the splitter-uppers are forecast to drop their average a bit while they keep the series tied.
• Moving to lanes 3&4, 2nd-place Just Shitty Enough will challenge 4th-place I Thought This Was AA? (hcp 160). Just Shitty might have their averages plummet, but split the series with the bowlaholics; while the bowlaholics ought to drop their average a bit while they keep the series tied.
• Finally, on lanes 5&6, 6th-place Sun Dolphins (estimated hcp 204) will battle 1st-place Balderdash. Dolphins are predicted to maintain their current strength as they lose the series but avoid getting swept; while Bald Boys are anticipated to see their team average take a dive even though they enjoy their victories.

^*(Remember, the predicted results above are based on mathematical extrapolations and can be changed by all sorts of factors. If you don't like how your team's results are predicted, you and your teammates have the power to prove the math wrong!)

THIS WEEK'S MVB Michael Gordon Runner Up: (See Posting)	#1 POWER BOWLER Nick Kinney Runner Up: Matthew Taylor	#1 H2H BOWLER Matthew Taylor Runner Up: Nick Kinney
FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE) "I'm surprised he's not here yet but later on you'll meet Dennis. He's the other person in charge of this league." Scoot: "No he isn't, that's AJ." "Later on you'll meet Dennis, who apparently THINKS he's in charge of the league." Scoot: "He's the VP of Venue Selection." Nick Tomasic, introducing new bartender Alex to the various people coming up to the bar.