An unusually long-lasting third week of Spring 2022 saw lots of mechanical issues and some major IT issues as both Jacob and Scoot got their activity goals for the day running around putting out fires. Throughout the chaotic night of all sweeps one team climbed in the standings, JoAnne Barber picked up this week's high game (151) and series (435) for the women, while Carl Goetz earned this week's high game (237) and series (633) for the men. Read on for all the rest of the details!

First up, on lanes 1 & 2: Flamboyant Fluffykins found their destiny gripped in the icy hands of Going, Going, BALD!. Despite the strength of Dustin Schmeltz with his above-average 508 series, Flamboyant got swept by Baldness. As this was happening, Dennis Walling with his 563 series oversaw Baldness (with kudos to Most Valuable Bowler Ben Spencer) as they swept the competition. Flamboyant Fluffykins remains in 4th place, while Baldness remain in 1st.

On lanes 3 & 4: In a juxtaposition of two close team averages, Splits & Giggles kept stealing sips of beer from Glory Bowl. Notwithstanding the leadership of JoAnne Barber with her above-average 435 series, Giggles got swept by Glory. As for the opposition, Brett Affolter with his better-than-normal 527 series emboldened Glory as they swept the competition. Splits & Giggles drop 1 spot in the standings to 6th place, while Glory moves up 1 spot to 5th.

Finally, down on lanes 5 & 6: In a rather lopsided matchup, the big bullies of ChuckaScoot successfully delivered menacing stares toward the precocious The Wally McWallingtons. Headlined by Carl Goetz with his above-average 633 series, with props to #1 Head-to-Head bowler , Scoot Chuckers garnered a clean sweep over The McWallingtons. Meanwhile, #1 Power-Ranked Scott Murdock and his better-than-normal 578 series showed off for The McWallingtons despite his team getting swept. ChuckaScoot remains in 2nd place, while The McWallingtons remain in 3rd.

Now, for a run-down on this week's fires:

• Lane 4 needed pins set back up numerous times.
• Lane 5 experienced a major pin jam in the pinsetter.
• The lane 5/6 ball return kept dropping balls off one side or the other, sending them careening into thr crowd and maiming dozens of spectators.
• One of Scoot's worst fears came to fruition when the building's internet connection went down during the second game. Fortunately he was able to get the scoreboards and all of the tablets to switch over to using his phone as a mobile hotspot.
• For reasons unknown and probably impossible to debug, the tablets were unable to register any games as completed after they switched to using the mobile hotspot, so Scoot had to advance each matchup to the next game by hand directly in the database as games finished.

Bowlers who crashed the party at The 200 Club include: Carl Goetz (226,237), Dennis Walling (207), Scott Murdock (234), and Seth Gunderson (201)

JoAnne Barber earned both this season's women's high game and series with her 151 and 435, respectively. In addition, Carl Goetz nabbed both high game and series for the men this season with his 237 and 633, respectively.

NEXT WEEK:

• First, on lanes 1&2, 6th-place Splits & Giggles (hcp 183) will hang out with 2nd-place ChuckaScoot. Giggles are expected to maintain their current strength as they get swept; while Scoot Chuckers are forecast to hold steady as they rack up a sweep.
• Moving to lanes 3&4, 3rd-place The Wally McWallingtons (hcp 100) will battle 1st-place Going, Going, BALD!. The McWallingtons might roll a little low and get swept; while Baldness ought to drop their average a bit even as they rack up a sweep.
• Finally, on lanes 5&6, 4th-place Flamboyant Fluffykins (hcp 4) will spend some quality time with 5th-place Glory Bowl. Flamboyant is predicted to have a bit of an off night and get swept; while Glory is anticipated to hold steady as they rack up a sweep.

^*(Remember, the predicted results above are based on mathematical extrapolations and can be changed by all sorts of factors. If you don't like how your team's results are predicted, you and your teammates have the power to prove the math wrong!)

The Tournament of Champions begins next week! Here is how the divisions shook out this season:

THIS WEEK'S MVB Ben Spencer Runner Up: (See Posting)	#1 POWER BOWLER Scott Murdock Runner Up: Brett Affolter	#1 H2H BOWLER Aaron Barber Runner Up: Jonathan Vigliaturo
FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE) "Nobody's going to cut off your johnson, Dude. Not if I have anything to say about it." Ryan Sisco, to Ben Spencer, as they exited the restroom together.