The Spring 2022 season got underway tonight with a packed house (100% attendance!). Six teams entered the 16-week competition for the coveted, nonexistent championship trophy (except for the chance to pose with the honorary trophy). JoAnne Barber picked up this week's high game (144) and series (380) for the women. As for the men, Scott Murdock snagged this week's high game with a 234, and high series was earned by Carl Goetz with a 594. Read on for all the rest of the details!

First up, on lanes 1 & 2: Going, Going, BALD! shared strikes, spares, and likely some pulling of fingers with Splits & Giggles. Propelled by the skills of Dennis Walling with his 550 series, Baldness collected 3 wins against Giggles. On the adjacent lane, Luke Melton with his wonderful 481 series amassed the most Giggles despite his team notching only a single win. Going, Going, BALD! gets underway in 2nd place, while Giggles spring to life in 5th.

On lanes 3 & 4: In a pairing of teams of similar strength, Flamboyant Fluffykins had a nice time hanging out with The Wally McWallingtons. Featuring Dustin Schmeltz with his 501 series, with kudos to Most Valuable Bowler Rilen Schmeltz, Flamboyant split the series with The McWallingtons. Moving on to the challengers, Scott Murdock with his moronic and short-sighted 533 series emboldened The McWallingtons as they matched their opponent in wins. Flamboyant Fluffykins begins with 4th place, while The McWallingtons begin in 3rd.

TRIVIA BREAK TIME: Most of you are familiar with our weekly Most Valuable Bowler award. But what most of you don't know is that we also have a weekly Least Valuable Bowler that we don't publish because that's just mean. Well, this week Scott Murdock earned Least Valuable Bowler, because his uncharacteristically high third game (which was the league's high game this week) caused him to set an average so high that his other two games were well below average and he single-handedly caused one of his teams losses (game 2) as a result. That got us wondering: How often has the person who rolled the highest score of the week also been the person who hurt their team the most? The answer? In 46 seasons (22-1/2 years) of bowling, it has happened 6 times. In all but one instance the person contributed to one team loss and single-handedly caused a second team loss. First it was Ryan Doll in Fall 2008, week 1, rolling a 232. Next it was Bill Krejci in Fall 2013 week 11, with a 233. Kody Karnes did it next 5 weeks later in that same season with a 267. In the harshest instance, Matthew Taylor did it the first week of Spring 2018 by rolling a 254 yet being single-handedly responsible for two losses, Then in week 6 of Spring 2021, Michael Gordon did it with a 224. And now Scoot did it last night with his idiotic 234. What was he thinking?

Finally, down on lanes 5 & 6: The apparently sick and twisted members of ChuckaScoot pounded away at the Glory Bowl so hard that it caused their blue balls to drop repeatedly. Although topped by Brett Affolter with his 482 series, Glory got swept by the Scoot Chuckers. Concurrently, #1 Power Ranked and #1 Head-to-Head Carl Goetz and his 594 series motivated Scoot Chuckers as they swept the competition. Glory Bowl begins the season in 6th place, while Scoot Chuckers commence with 1st. (And maintenance has been notified to check lane 6's ball-dropping ball return.)

Bowlers who stripped naked and shared a cozy hot tub together in a back room at The 200 Club include: Carl Goetz (213), Dennis Walling (206), and Scott Murdock (234)

NEXT WEEK:

• First, on lanes 1&2, 6th-place Glory Bowl (hcp 36) will spend some quality time with 3rd-place The Wally McWallingtons. Glory is expected to maintain their current strength as they win the series; while The McWallingtons are forecast to drop their average a bit while they avoid getting swept.
• Moving to lanes 3&4, 2nd-place Going, Going, BALD! (hcp 64) will battle 1st-place ChuckaScoot. Baldness might roll a little low and get swept; while Scoot Chuckers ought to drop their average a bit even as they rack up a sweep.
• Finally, on lanes 5&6, 5th-place Splits & Giggles (hcp 13) will tussle with 4th-place Flamboyant Fluffykins. Giggles are predicted to have a bit of an off night, but split the series with Flamboyant; while Flamboyant is anticipated to drop their average a bit while they keep the series tied.

^*(Remember, the predicted results above are based on mathematical extrapolations and can be changed by all sorts of factors. If you don't like how your team's results are predicted, you and your teammates have the power to prove the math wrong!)

THIS WEEK'S MVB Rilen Schmeltz Runner Up: (See Posting)	#1 POWER BOWLER Carl Goetz Runner Up: Jonathan Vigliaturo	#1 H2H BOWLER Carl Goetz Runner Up: Jonathan Vigliaturo
FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE) "Scott! Legitimate question this time: Did you measure these lanes to see if they are the exact same length as the lanes at the other places we've bowled?" Seth Gunderson, asking the legitimately important questions.