The Spring 2021 season is now underway, with six teams entering the 12-week competition for the coveted, nonexistent championship trophy and imaginary prize money. JoAnne Barber picked up this week's high game (145) and series (361) for the woman, while Michael Gordon completely forgot that you're supposed to sandbag the first week and earned this week's high game (245) and series (658) for the men in a stunning performance. Read on for all the rest of the details!

First up, on lanes 7 & 8: The half of Raining Chimps that wasn't snowboarded sandbagged properly Larry, I'm On Ducktales. Although receiving some motivation from... well, himself... with his 458 series, Chimps accomplished only 1 win against Ducktales. Countering this, #1 Power Ranked and #1 Head-to-Head failed-sandbagger Michael Gordon and his 658 series commanded Ducktales as his team took the match with 3 wins. Raining Chimps starts out in 6th place, while Ducktales commence with 1st.

On lanes 9 & 10: Name Coming, Curtis Said goofed around with Gimme Some Of Your Totts. Though highlighted by the skills of Michael Whiles with his mesmerizing 462 series, TBD accomplished only 1 win against Gimme Totts. As for the opposition, Most Valuable Bowler James Tott and his 498 series took charge of Gimme Totts as his team took the match with 3 wins. Name Coming, Curtis Said begins the season in 5th place, while Gimme Totts get going with 2nd.

Finally, down on lanes 11 & 12: Smokin Js matched wits with Gordon Michael's Groupies. Led by JoAnne Barber with her 361 series, Smokin split the series against Groupies. On the adjacent lane, the Groupied were (Brian) Blessed by Matthew Taylor with his 548 series as his team took the other two wins. Smokin Js enters the world in 4th place, while Groupies start off with 3rd.

Bowlers who stumbled into The 200 Club include: Aaron Barber (214), James Tott (201), and Michael Gordon (233,245)

In this week's Tournament of Champions brackets: Michael Gordon eradicated Division 1, while Michael Whiles decimated Division 2. In terms of overall points: Michael Gordon is in the driver's seat in Division 1; and Michael Whiles governs Division 2.

NEXT WEEK:

• First, on lanes 7&8, 4th-place Smokin Js (hcp 80) will test their mettle against 2nd-place Gimme Some Of Your Totts. Smokin is expected to roll somewhat remarkably and win the series; while Gimme Totts are forecast to drop their average a bit while they avoid getting swept.
• Moving to lanes 9&10, 6th-place Raining Chimps (hcp 53) will hang out with 3rd-place Gordon Michael's Groupies. Chimps might perform well, yet still manage to lose the series but avoid getting swept; while Groupies ought to raise their average while they enjoy their victories.
• Finally, on lanes 11&12, 1st-place Larry, I'm On Ducktales will share four or five pitchers with 5th-place Name Coming, Curtis Said (hcp 83). Ducktales are predicted to have a bit of an off night, yet still manage to win the series; while TBD is anticipated to raise their average even as they avoid getting swept.

^*(Remember, the predicted results above are based on mathematical extrapolations and can be changed by all sorts of factors. If you don't like how your team's results are predicted, you and your teammates have the power to prove the math wrong!)

THIS WEEK'S MVB James Tott Runner Up: (See Posting)	#1 POWER BOWLER Michael Gordon Runner Up: James Tott	#1 H2H BOWLER Michael Gordon Runner Up: Aaron Barber
FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE) "Can I hump you if we both wear masks and I rub hand sanitizer on my junk?" Jeremy, longing for a return to normal.