The Fall 2018 bowling season got off to a glitchy start, but with two subs filling in the gaps this was also the largest opening-night turnout in quite some time! Ten teams entered the 16-week competition for the coveted, nonexistent championship trophy, among them ten rookies and only one opening-night Vacancy!

Monica Hufford picked up this week's high game (181) and series (474) for the women, while sub Michael Mead earned this week's high game (237) and series (605) for the men. Read on for all the rest of the details!

Pops watches JV play with his pole. (Click to make JV's pole bigger.)

First up, on lanes 1 & 2: Dealing with the glitchiest of the lanes, defending champion Serious Bowlers traded lane malfunctions with the newly rebranded We Don't Give a Split. Strengthened by Nick Kinney with his 484 series, the Serious Bs split the series with Split Not Given. In the meantime, Aubrey Moren with his 504 series dominated Split as they matched their opponent in wins. Serious Bowlers starts out in 5th place, while We Don't Give a Split begins in 6th.

On lanes 3 & 4: BDE couldn't stop inappropriately groping Bowl Movements. Starring Jeremy Cline with his 502 series, the power of BDE was demonstrated as they collected 3 wins against the BMs. On the adjacent lane, Colin Belmont with his 431 series pushed out some BMs of his own despite his team notching only a single win. BDE gets underway in 4th place, while Bowl Movement commences the season in 10th.

On lanes 5 & 6: The yet-unnamed Team 5 kept grabbing the balls of 8 Balls. (Ok, not really.) Though featuring David Juiliano with his 470 series, the unnamed team accomplished only 1 win against 8-Balls. Russell Bingham with his 561 series inspired 8-Balls as his team took the match with 3 wins. Team 5 begins with 7th place, while 8-Balls start off in 1st. Which I'm sure really pisses Aaron Barber off.

On lanes 7 & 8: Bowling For Beers had some one-on-one time with Gucci Lane. Although blessed by Josh Rothermel with his 399 series, Beers accomplished only 1 win against Gucci. Moving on to the challengers, #1 Power-Ranked sub Michael Mead and his 605 series mastered Gucci as his team took the match with 3 wins. (And Brian Byfield's 213 in game 3 continue's his demonstrations from last season that he is not a bowler to be dismissed.) Bowling For Beers begins the season in 9th place, while Gucci Lane gets it going with 2nd.

Finally, down on lanes 9 & 10: Open Frames R Us had a romantic candlelight dinner with Red Strikes Matter. Although receiving some motivation from Monica Hufford with her 474 series, Open Frames accomplished only 1 win against Red Strikes. On the other side of broken-for-everyone-but-Scoot hand blower, #1 Head-to-Head Sean Miller and his 515 series guided Red Strikes as his team took the match with 3 wins. Open Frames R Us starts out in 8th place, while Red Strikes launches in 3rd.

Bowlers who lied to their significant other claiming bowling was running long then went out for after-bowling drinks at The 200 Club include: Brian Byfield (213), Michael Gordon (203), Michael Mead (237), and Russell Bingham (226)

The Tournament of Champions begins in 3 weeks. Here are how the divisions are shaping up so far:

NEXT WEEK:

• First, on lanes 1&2, 9th-place Bowling For Beers (hcp 72) will tussle with 4th-place BDE. Beers are expected to perform well, yet still manage to lose the series (but avoid getting swept); while BDE is forecast to raise their average as they enjoy their victories.
• Moving to lanes 3&4, 5th-place Serious Bowlers (hcp 67) will match wits with 1st-place 8 Balls. Serious Bs might roll a little low and get swept; while 8-Balls ought to raise their average while they rack up a sweep.
• Then, over on lanes 5&6, 6th-place We Don't Give a Split will hang out with 8th-place Open Frames R Us (estimated hcp 55). Split Not Given will likely have a bit of an off night and lose the series but avoid getting swept; while Open Frames will probably raise their average while they enjoy their victories.
• Next up, on lanes 7&8, 7th-place Team 5 (hcp 50) will battle 3rd-place Red Strikes Matter. TBD might be awe-inspiring, yet still manage to get swept; while Red Strikes ought to catapult their team average they rack up a sweep.
• Finally, on lanes 9&10, 2nd-place Gucci Lane will share a couple of pitchers with 10th-place Bowl Movements (estimated hcp 101). Gucci is predicted to perform well and win the series; while BMs are anticipated to catapult their team average even though they avoid getting swept.

^*(Remember, the predicted results above are based on mathematical extrapolations and can be changed by all sorts of factors. If you don't like how your team's results are predicted, you and your teammates have the power to prove the math wrong!)

THIS WEEK'S MVB No one Runner Up: (See Posting)	#1 POWER BOWLER Michael Mead Runner Up: Dennis Walling	#1 H2H BOWLER Sean Miller Runner Up: Dennis Walling
FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE) "You brought the fuckin' Pomeranian bowling?" Alison Radke, failing to recognize one of her own teammates.