The the Tournament of Champions kicked off tonight, beginning of 13 weeks of one-on-one bowling excitement! But it got off to a rocky start, with two divisions performing so poorly that they didn't produce a winner this week. Two teams climbed in the standings, while two teams slipped. Monica Hufford picked up this week's high game (168) and series (490) for the women, while Russell Bingham earned this week's high game (265) and series (650) for the men. Read on for all the rest of the details!

First up, on lanes 3 & 4: In a truly mismatched pairing, the foul scoundrels of HOF Sandwich chucked gutter balls with the long-shots Three Strikes and a Spare. Led by #1 Power-Ranked Bob Brunker and his above-average 630 series, the Sandwich garnered a clean sweep over Three Strikes. Moving on to the challengers, Monica Hufford emboldened Three Strikes with her 490 despite her team getting swept. HOF Sandwich leaps 1 spot in the standings to 4th place, while Three Strikes remain in 8th.

Click for a larger view of a romance doomed to end badly.

On lanes 5 & 6: In a gathering of similar team averages, the healthy half of Holy Sandbaggers, Batman! accepted a challenge by Splitbowl Countries. Though reinforced by Phil Schroeder with his below-average 485 series, the Sandbaggers accomplished only 1 win against Splitbowl. In the neighboring realm, Russell Bingham dominated Splitbowl with his better-than-normal 650 as his team took the series with 3 wins. Amid accusations that the M&Ms Russell and his teammates were eating were laced with steroids, Holy Sandbaggers, Batman! plummets 2 spots in the standings to 5th place, while Splitbowl remains in 2nd.

On lanes 7 & 8: We find a pairing of relatively equal strengths, an even angrier than usual WITNESS!!! took turns kicking the ball return with nefarious Russian Olympic bowling cheaters Mary Janes Last Frame. Even though highlighted by the skills of Aaron Barber with his 593 series, Witness!!! got swept by Mary Jane. As this was happening, #1 Head-to-Head Michael Gordon commanded Mary Jane with his better-than-normal 639 as they swept the competition. WITNESS!!! plummets 2 spots in the standings to 3rd place, while Mary Jane jumps 3 spots to 1st.

Finally, down on lanes 9 & 10: Sit Down, Be Humbowl rock and rolled all night and partied every day with PBR Me, ASAP. Though featuring Brian Orrick with his 411 series, Humbowl got swept by PBR. Simultaneously, Josh Rothermel motivated PBR with his better-than-normal 447 (with kudos to Most Valuable Bowler JoAnne Gordon) as they swept the competition. Sit Down, Be Humbowl remains in 7th place, while PBR remains in 6th.

Bowlers who crashed the party at The 200 Club include: Aaron Barber (224), AJ Hofmann (202), Bob Brunker (234,220), Dennis Walling (223), Jonathan Vigliaturo (222), Matthew Taylor (227,209), Michael Gordon (221,226), Phil Schroeder (200), Russell Bingham (265), Scott Murdock (202), Sean Simmons (212), and Seth Gunderson (206)

The 265 rolled by Russell Bingham is this season's new high game for men.

In this week's Tournament of Champions brackets: Nobody claimed victory in Division 1 (though Michael Gordon came closest), while nobody claimed victory in Division 2 (though Bob Brunker came closest). Ben Spencer decimated Division 3, and Pat Hamell won Division 4. In terms of overall points: Michael Gordon runs the show in Division 1; Bob Brunker dominates Division 2; Ben Spencer calls the shots for Division 3; and Pat Hamell tops Division 4.

NEXT WEEK:

• First, on lanes 3&4, 5th-place Holy Sandbaggers, Batman! (hcp 43) will face 3rd-place WITNESS!!!. The Sandbaggers are expected to maintain their current strength as they lose the series but avoid getting swept; while Witness!!! is forecast to raise their average while they enjoy their victories.
• Moving to lanes 5&6, 6th-place PBR Me, ASAP (hcp 5) will roll against 8th-place Three Strikes and a Spare. PBR might maintain their current strength as they lose the series but avoid getting swept; while Three Strikes ought to raise their average while they enjoy their victories.
• Then, over on lanes 7&8, 4th-place HOF Sandwich will throw some gutter balls with 7th-place Sit Down, Be Humbowl (hcp 64). The Sandwich will likely have a bit of an off night, but split the series with Humbowl; while Humbowl will probably drop their average a bit while they keep the series tied.
• Finally, on lanes 9&10, 1st-place Mary Janes Last Frame will chill with 2nd-place Splitbowl Countries (hcp 21). Mary Jane is predicted to roll a little low, yet still manage to win the series; while Splitbowl is anticipated to see their team average take a dive while they avoid getting swept.

^*(Remember, the predicted results above are based on mathematical extrapolations and can be changed by all sorts of factors. If you don't like how your team's results are predicted, you and your teammates have the power to prove the math wrong!)

THIS WEEK'S MVB JoAnne Gordon Runner Up: (See Posting)	#1 POWER BOWLER Bob Brunker Runner Up: Russell Bingham	#1 H2H BOWLER Michael Gordon Runner Up: Bob Brunker
FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE) "Blink twice if you're here under duress." James Tott (again), to Dani, when Dani unexpectedly showed up at the bowling alley a week after last week's gutter quote.

"It's so good to be out of that basement! It's like summer out here compared to that cold dankness. You can still see the marks on my wrists from the restraints." Our former AMF server Dani, during her visit, after she managed to slip away from Pat and Jeremy for a few minutes.