Because the results of the bowling matchups this week were so expected, and therefore so boring, Scoot has absolutely no inspiration for what to write about this week. Due to this, just so Scoot would stay awake writing this, much of the following is a load of crap.On lanes 41 & 42: Salt Water Taffy faced off against 404: Team Name Not Found. Despite (or perhaps because of) being constantly distracted by Zach Cross's wardrobe malfunctions, Ian Goetz rolled his balls off with a 636 series to lead Salt Water Taffy in a clean sweep over 404: Team Name Not Found. Sean Miller, who was perhaps more affected by Zach's endless nip-slips, led 404 with a 447 series. Salt Water Taffy remains (of course) in 1st place even through no one cares, while 404: Team Name Not Found drops 1 spot to 6th. It should also be noted that by dropping from 232 in game 2 to a mere 107 in game 3, Jonathan Vigliaturo achieved the 6th largest score change and 3rd largest score drop in league history.

On lanes 43 & 44: Holy Sandbaggers, Batman! got a not-really-needed reprieve with a session against the blind team. Aubrey Moren led the team in a sweep with his 564 series. Phil Schroeder came close to leading the team, but the devastating news about Charlie Sheen broke his heart and he spent half of the first game sitting on the bench sobbing. Near the bottom of the rankings just a few weeks ago, the Sandbaggers have swept 4 weeks in a row and climb 1 spot to 3rd place. They will move into 2nd if they sweep next week, and winning even just the first two games will give them the third longest winning steak in league history.

On lanes 45 & 46: The same half of Split It & Hit It that graced us with their presence last week returned again to try to crush the dreams of Hold My Beer, Watch This. Dennis Blake led Split It with a 553 series despite the shock of learning that Michael Smith is his son, but this was only enough for 1 win against Hold My Beer. Kody Karnes led Hold My Beer with a 649 series, which was amazing considering he also experienced a shock when DNA tests proved that AJ Hofmann is his long lost daughter. Split It & Hit It drops 1 spot in the standings to 4th place, while Hold My Beer, Watch This moves up 1 spots to 5th.

Finally, down on lanes 47 & 48: It's A Trap! faced off against Stephen Hawking's Dance Club. Andrew Finger couldn't keep his fingers out of Matt O'Dell's beard and consequently his team-leading 540 series led It's A Trap! to disaster. While Michael Gordon and his 556 series and his access to performance-enhancing pharmaceuticals technically led Stephen Hawking's Dance Club to a clean sweep, it was Brian Walsh's Cialis-assisted MVB performance that really made the difference. It's A Trap! remains in 7th place, while Stephen Hawking's Dance Club remains in 2nd.

This week in Tournament of Champions, Ian Goetz continues to kick his father to the Division 1 curb. Everyone is sick of hearing about Dennis Blake's runaway lead of Division 2, so we'll move on. Matt O'Dell squeaked ahead of Phil Schroeder in Division 3, and Brian Walsh bumped Dennis Cummings out of second place in Division 4.Bowlers bullshitting their way The 200 Club this week include: Andrew Finger (204), Aubrey Moren (201,207), Carl Goetz (201,224), Dennis Blake (202), Dennis Laube (202), Ian Goetz (225,223), Jonathan Vigliaturo (232), Kody Karnes (247,202,200), Matt O'Dell (235), and Michael Gordon (217)See you next Tuesday!

THIS WEEK'S MVB Brian Walsh Runner Up: (See Posting)	#1 POWER BOWLER Ian Goetz Runner Up: Dennis Laube	#1 H2H BOWLER Dennis Laube Runner Up: Ian Goetz
FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE) "I met him fifteen years ago. I was told there was nothing left. No reason, no, uh, conscience, no understanding and even the most rudimentary sense of life or death, of good or evil, right or wrong. I met this six year-old child with this bland, pale, emotionless face, and the blackest eyes - the Devil's eyes. I spent eight years trying to reach him and then another seven trying to keep him locked up because I realized that what was living behind that boy's eyes was purely and simply evil..." Meghan Cummings, who never seems to stop with all her endless talking, blathering on once again about Dennis.