Turkey week saw lots of turkeys but no movement in the standings, likely due to everyone being overloaded on tryptophan.First up, on lanes 41 & 42: Andrew Finger led It's A Trap! to a sweep against the blind team with his 518 series. However, a big assist came from Dennis Cummings. Last week Dennis noticed that he bowled better taking his glasses off, so he tried it again this week and earned Most Valuable Bowler. It's A Trap! remains in 7th place, while Ray & Stevie remains in 8th.

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Because the results of the bowling matchups this week were so expected, and therefore so boring, Scoot has absolutely no inspiration for what to write about this week. Due to this, just so Scoot would stay awake writing this, much of the following is a load of crap.On lanes 41 & 42: Salt Water Taffy faced off against 404: Team Name Not Found. Despite (or perhaps because of) being constantly distracted by Zach Cross's wardrobe malfunctions, Ian Goetz rolled his balls off with a 636 series to lead Salt Water Taffy in a clean sweep over 404: Team Name Not Found. Sean Miller, who was perhaps more affected by Zach's endless nip-slips, led 404 with a 447 series. Salt Water Taffy remains (of course) in 1st place even through no one cares, while 404: Team Name Not Found drops 1 spot to 6th. It should also be noted that by dropping from 232 in game 2 to a mere 107 in game 3, Jonathan Vigliaturo achieved the 6th largest score change and 3rd largest score drop in league history.

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While everyone has been worrying about the antics of Salt Water Taffy and Stephen Hawkings Dance Club, another team has been quietly cornholing us all and climbing the ranks. With a three week streak sweep so far, could a new contender for first be in our future?First up, on lanes 41 & 42: The other half of Split It & Hit It showed up to roll against 3/4 of It's A Trap!. Led by Todd Way and his 514 series, Split It & Hit It freed 3 wins from the Trap. Chelsie Finger and her nicely even 400 series was enough to snag one win. Split It & Hit It remains in 3rd place, while It's A Trap! remains in 7th.

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After lurking in the shadows much of the season, honing and refining their hunting skills, both of the league's Seans struck with a vengeance tonight. With a 154 average, Sean Miller rolled a 203 and a 205; with a 138 average, Sean Simmons rolled a 214. Congrats, guys, on kicking the door down to The 200 Club!In our first matchup, on lanes 41 & 42, a suffering Hold My Beer, Watch This hoped that Holy Sandbaggers, Batman! would be weak and tired after post-bowling the night before. No such luck. Led by Aubrey Moren and his 594 series, Holy Sandbaggers, Batman! secured a clean sweep. Though Kody Karnes put up an impressive 622 series, and AJ Hofmann finally broke out of his slump for game 3, it just wasn't enough to overcome their anchor Aaron Barber's sore wrist. (You might want to switch to the other hand during your alone time, buddy.) Hold My Beer drops 2 spots in the standings to 6th place, while Holy Sandbaggers, Batman! jumps 2 spots to 4th.

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Despite Zoo Bar being cleaned out of virtually everything after today's festivities, there's just enough Guinness and Founders left for Scoot to celebrate his birthday. As a result, tonight's update may be delayed until morning.