The fifth week of Spring 2007 saw three teams climb in the standings, while three teams slipped. Freda Schroeder picked up this week's high game (188) and series (541) for the women, while Cory Chorpenning earned this week's high game (247) and series (648) for the men. Read on for all the rest of the details!

First up, on lanes 15 & 16: Frickin' Ten Pin deliberately ate cheese sticks in front of Guttersluts. With the strength of Carl Goetz with his above-average 584 series, Ten Pin celebrated a clean sweep over Guttersluts. Across the ball return, Bill Krejci ruled Guttersluts with his above-average 581 despite his team getting swept. Frickin' Ten Pin leaps 4 spots in the standings to 5th place, while Guttersluts plunge 2 spots to 3rd.

On lanes 17 & 18: X9XX alternated between bowling and dry humping T.B.D.. Topped by Dennis Laube with his 519 series, X9XX split the series with T.B.D.. Countering this, Steve Kiernan reigned supreme in T.B.D. with his below-average 541 as they matched their opponent in wins. X9XX remains in 4th place, while T.B.D. remains in 6th.

On lanes 19 & 20: Churn and Burn shared a platter of cheese sticks with Doll's Balls. With top billing by Jason Carpio with his above-average 524 series, Churn and Burn collected 3 wins against Doll's Balls. On the other half of the score sheet, Ryan Doll commanded Doll's Balls with his below-average 462 despite his team notching only a single win. Churn and Burn leaps 1 spot in the standings to 7th place, while Doll's Balls plunge 2 spots to 9th.

On lanes 21 & 22: Those 4 Bowlers did battle with Oily Balls. Although blessed by Seth Gunderson with his above-average 530 series, 4 Bowlers accomplished only 1 win against Oily Balls. While that was going down, Pat Searcy took the lead in Oily Balls with his above-average 603 as his team took the series with 3 wins. Those 4 Bowlers plummet 3 spots in the standings to 8th place, while Oily Balls remain in 2nd.

Finally, down on lanes 23 & 24: Unstoppabowl chucked gutter balls with King Pins. Reinforced by Most Valuable Bowler Cory Chorpenning and his above-average 648 series, assisted by #1 Power-Ranked and Most Valuable Bowler Cory Chorpenning, Unstoppabowl celebrated a clean sweep over King Pins. Simultaneously, John Coleman oversaw King Pins with his commanding 606 despite his team getting swept. Unstoppabowl leaps 2 spots in the standings to 1st place, while King Pins remain in 10th.

Bowlers slipping under the velvet rope in front of The 200 Club include: Bill Krejci (223), Carl Goetz (200,223), Cory Chorpenning (247,200,201), Dennis Laube (215), Duncan Ferber (216), Jason Carpio (211), John Coleman (233), Ken M. Wilson (209), Kendall Kukowski (201), Pat Searcy (204,221), and Seth Gunderson (208)

In this week's Tournament of Champions brackets: Pat Searcy vanquished Division 1, while nobody claimed victory in Division 2 (though Freda Schroeder came closest). Deena Slinkard creamed Division 3, and Kendall Kukowski routed Division 4. Finally, Bill Krejci (Division 2) won this week's Interdivisional bracket. In terms of overall points: Cory Chorpenning calls the shots for Division 1; Bill Krejci reigns over Division 2; Deena Slinkard is in the driver's seat in Division 3; and Kendall Kukowski tops Division 4.

NEXT WEEK:

• First, on lanes 15&16, 1st-place Unstoppabowl will spend some quality time with 7th-place Churn and Burn (hcp 24). Unstoppabowl is expected to perform well and win the series; while Churn and Burn is forecast to raise their average even as they avoid getting swept.
• Moving to lanes 17&18, 8th-place Those 4 Bowlers (hcp 45) will chill with 5th-place Frickin' Ten Pin. 4 Bowlers might perform well and win the series; while Ten Pin ought to hold steady as they avoid getting swept.
• Then, over on lanes 19&20, 3rd-place Guttersluts will roll against 6th-place T.B.D. (hcp 46). Guttersluts will likely have a bit of an off night and lose the series but avoid getting swept; while T.B.D. will probably hold steady as they enjoy their victories.
• Next up, on lanes 21&22, 4th-place X9XX will meet with 10th-place King Pins (hcp 81). X9XX might maintain their current strength as they win the series; while King Pins ought to drop their average a bit while they avoid getting swept.
• Finally, on lanes 23&24, 2nd-place Oily Balls will test their mettle against 9th-place Doll's Balls (hcp 89). Oily Balls are predicted to maintain their current strength as they sweep the series; while Doll's Balls are anticipated to hold steady as they endure a rough night.

THIS WEEK'S MVB Cory Chorpenning Runner Up: (See Posting)	#1 POWER BOWLER Kendall Kukowski Runner Up: John Coleman	#1 H2H BOWLER Kendall Kukowski Runner Up: Freda Schroeder
FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE) "Our balls are getting really oily. It's like we've all been teabagging Colonel Sanders." Shaun Crockett, on the excessive oily condition on the lanes.